I Do Believe That You Don't Exist Here
by Aeroga
Summary: This person only existed in a video game. He isn't real. He's imaginary, but somehow he is here. He is here in flesh and blood. It's Dante! Dante from DMC is my freaking teacher and yet... not even the biggest DMC fans seems to realize. Now Rated M because of crude language.
1. Just an Ordinary Night

**I Do Believe That You Don't Exist Here**

**By: Bring Your Own Kites**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Devil May Cry, Capcom does.**

**Ownership: I do, however, own Liam Emmerich.**

**Note: I recommend reading this fic in 1/2 view. It makes all the difference. **

**I. Just an Ordinary Night**

* * *

_"No his mind is not for rent."  
__-Rush (Tom Sawyer)_

* * *

"Liam," My mother calls out to me.

I pretend not to hear her. I am about to get Dante killed by Vergil for the 11th time tonight. Son of a bitch wouldn't stand still. Not that he's supposed to stay still- that'd make the game way too easy if he did. Very hard mode would be like easy mode, which is surprisingly difficult if you don't know how to play. Everything else would be on a scale of pwnage to rape.

If I was Dante, I would kick my own ass for losing so many damn times. And you know what? I'd probably let him. It's pathetic for a gamer of my status to get my ass kicked eleven times and counting by the same guy.

"Liam!" My mother calls out once again, "I know you're awake!"

Yet again, I ignore her.

Then Vergil goes into DT mode and kills me. Well not me. Dante. His painful moans echo my room and I throw the controller down in a fit of rage. Bastard.

"Liam Emmerich! I know you can hear me! Go to bed! It's already past twelve! You have scho- Are you even listening to me?" My mum cries out.

I hear her footsteps drawing closer to my room and decide that it's best to pretend that I'm not actually awake. I hop into my bed and pull my blanket over my face.

When my mother comes in, I pretend that I'm sleeping. I can see her through the fabric of my blanket. She stands in the doorway hands on her hips. Her face is glowing red with rage, which isn't unusual for my mother.

While waiting I make a mental list. Usually when I'm bored I make mental lists to occupy my time. What I come up with just makes me crack up. The funny thing is it doesn't take much effort.

**List No.1: **Why Dante should kill me/ various others (especially fan boys/girls).

1. For losing against his arch nemesis/twin brother twelve times in a row. Seriously, if Dante was actually real and he could see people like me play DMC I bet he'd kill ever last one of us so called "gamers".

2. Killing him on purpose. Yeah, sometimes when I'm bored playing DMC 4, I go fight that huge statue boss at the end of the game. I just leave Dante there. I put the controller down on my lap. I don't move him or anything. When he dies, I do it again and again, and again, till I'm satisfied and no longer bored.

3. Dante/Vergil pairings. Seriously? If I was Dante I'd murder every last one of the fan boys/girls that write this wretched pairing. We all know that Dante HATES Vergil! They absolutely detest each other. They're not gonna suddenly realize that they love their twin a non-brotherly way. It's just illogical. Play the damn game! Watch the cut scene in Mission Seven where Vergil totally kicks Dante's ass and leave him for dead! That right there is not love! That's pwnage. I bet they'd rather hang themselves or spend a day locked in a room with the Jester.

4. Dante/Nero pairings. Come the hell on! Nero is in love with Kyrie. I don't give a shit what anyone may say to prove otherwise. Kyrie! Kyrie! What the hell was he screaming her name for more than half the game then? He went through a shit load of trouble to rescue her. They even almost kissed at the end but, those damn scarecrow things had to intervene. As for Dante, he's like 36...ish! He's not looking at some white haired punk who may possibly be related to him. He just wants his damn Yamato back from the cocky bastard!

5. Dante/Jester pairings. Really? You deserve to get strangled with your spinal cord if you imagine Dante kissing the Jester, you sick bastard!

6. Destroying Devil May Cry. Really, if I could I would definitely blow the damn place up. This is only because I want to see how he would react if a perfectly normal human teenager destroyed his place. He would most likely go into DT mode and kill everyone within a hundred mile radius. Then I'd make it onto his "Top Five People to Kill" List and I want to be on there.

My mum closes the door as she leaves the room. She opens it again a few seconds later to make sure I'm not just pushing her buttons, but I remain still. As soon as I hear her footsteps going away from my room, I pick up the controller off the ground and begin to play once more.

Instead of Vergil waiting to go into DT mode like he usually does, he does it right off the bat and I die for the thirteenth time.

"Piece of shit," I murmur, throwing the controller to the ground.

"Hah!" My door flings open. My mother stands in it red faced once again. "Go to bed, Liam! You have school tomorrow!"

"But Mum!" I protest, "I have to beat Vergil! You don't understand the importance of this situation! If I stop now I'm giving into that… that bastard. I have to do it for the sake of my inte-"

"Liam, I don't give a shit!" She growls, "You could be letting me down for god's sake and I still wouldn't care. Now go to sleep!"

I sigh deeply, "Mum, I'm seventeen years old. I know when to go to sleep."

"Oh yeah?" She strides over to my PS2 and yanks the wires out of the TV and the nearby outlet. "But you're not eighteen yet, so I can still take away your stuff." She sweeps out of the room rather dramatically.

There's nothing worse than having your PS2 along with your favorite game taken away.

* * *

**Next Chapter: **Doesn't Anyone Else Realize There's Something Wrong Here?

_Edited: 2-5-2011_

**Bring Your Own Kites: **Well, for those of you just now reading this, I'm editing chapters one through six…or seven, since I changed up the writing style in the later chapters. After I'm done with this I'll put up the new chapter you all have patiently been waiting for. Oh, and here's Liam's precious character profile.

_Liam Emmerich_

_Age: 17_

_Grade: 12__th_

_Birthday: April 20__th_

_Hair Color: Dark Brown_

_Hair Style: Medium Length, wavy. _

_Eye Color: Brown (Wears glasses, sometimes)_

_Height: 5'9"_

_Weight: 136lbs_

_Clothes: In the winter he wears some kind of plaid or flannel shirt. In the spring/summer he wears gaming t-shirts. He wears blue jeans and cargo pants, and a variation of different colored Converse. _

_Personality: Rude, Sarcastic, Passive towards people he doesn't know, Lazy_

_Likes: Blueberry Muffins, Strawberry Shortcake, Video Games, cats, and plaid shirts. _

_Dislikes: Being talked back to, being wrong, people that are always happy, his classmates (after Dante, Vergil, and Nero take over), and much much more…_

And that's it for our little jackass.


	2. Doesn't Anyone Else Realize

**II. Doesn't Anyone Else Realize There's Something Wrong Here?**

* * *

"_I think I've got a little situation."_

_-The Raconteurs_

* * *

I had to park my car two blocks away from the school because all the parking spaces for seniors were filled with cars I'd never seen before today. I believe all the seniors had decided to drive to school because for once gas didn't cost an arm and a leg. I don't take the bus because I'm incredibly claustrophobic, so I have a reason. Celebrate while you , seniors! Tomorrow it'll cost an eye to get gas!

On top of my usual parking space was being occupied by some rich bastard's Mercedes, it's raining. I forgot my jacket at my friend's house and hadn't bothered to get it back since I didn't seem to need it. Y'know being the middle of February. I literally make a mad dash for the school in order to protect my goods. I can already tell it's going to be one those days.

By the time I make it into the school, I'm sopping wet. I hear some kid scream…well after he slips in the puddle of water trailing behind me.

I think of another mental list while I walk…well technically slide to class.

**List No.2: **You know you're school's poor when…

**1. Your school cannot afford paper.** Yes, that's right, for the last two years I have attended this school, we've been in a…paper crisis. The teacher's usually yell at you if you don't recycle. Which brings me to my next point.

**2**. **Your school recycles, everything.** They have to have all of your two cent cans. They will hunt you down otherwise. All that change goes to our school funds. Basically we're the ones funding our education.

**3.** **Your school has half the lights on and half off.** Sometimes it's hard to see, especially when the sun comes out and they still refuse to turn the lights on. Basically our school requires night vision. You have to become another Sam Fisher in order to survive high school life.

**4.** **Your school only sells chicken nuggets, salad, and five other kinds of drinks.** If we're lucky sometimes we get an accidental shipment of mash potatoes or chocolate chip cookies.

**5. Your school's teachers actually accept their shitty pay.** I've been to other schools where all the teachers do is complain about how low their pay is. Teachers here don't give a shit as long as their getting paid and their medical is covered.

My school consists of a lot of useless and the least of all amusing people. Most of the guys are all bronze with no brains, the others are the few friends I have that can put up with my horrid attitude. The girls are mostly sluts, except for Elliott and a few other girls I've come across.

I attempt to dry myself off a little before I step foot into the class room. Somehow, no matter how early I leave my house, I always find myself running late to first period.

I make it into class right before the bell rings. I scurry over to my seat, not paying attention to anything but the fact I'm still trailing water. When I sit down, it only gets worse. I feel the water rise up my ass crack and I shiver.

When I look over at the front of the classroom I expect to see my favorite teacher up at his desk getting ready to teach, but he isn't there. Mr. G. Delacour is my favorite teacher although I usually fall asleep during first period. This man is probably one of the greatest people to walk this earth that is, next to Shigeru Miyamoto, Hironobu Sakaguchi, and Hideki Kamiya. He's known as The Wimp to most of the students. He's afraid of everything you can name. He's also pretty gullible, though I think it's an act. He tries really hard to make us have fun and it works. Maybe it's him being clumsy- I don't know and I don't doubt it either. He gives us a little bit of homework each night, but no one ever seems to mind. He puts up with my attitude pretty well too. Most of the time I keep my mouth shut so I don't say anything I might regret.

His twin brother, Mr. I. Delacour is the exact opposite of him. No one dares talk back to him, except for me that one time. He's incredibly sarcastic and laid back at times. He, too, is my teacher. Students flock around him like he's Brad Pitt or something. He comes into his brother's classroom just to make fun of him sometimes.

So it immediately strikes me as odd when I notice Mr. G. Delacour isn't as his desk. Nothing of his is. Not even that golden apple he got for teacher of the year award. He's never absent. Usually he is surrounded by students asking questions about last night's homework.

I lean over to my friend, Joker. Everyone calls him Joker even though his real name is Tony. If you call him Tony, he curses at you. Sometimes if he's in a good mood, he won't respond to you at all. I call him Tony just to piss him off sometimes.

"Hey, Joker," I say leaning over to him. He raises his faces off of the table to look at me. He hasn't shaved in a few days so he looks like a complete bum. "Isn't it odd that Mr. G. Delacour isn't here yet?"

He looks at me, clearly tired. "You mean Mr. D. Sparda right? Isn't he always late?" He yawns.

I raise an eyebrow to him, "Who the hell is Mr. Sparda?" I ask. Maybe Joker is high…or drunk…or possibly both?

"Our teacher, wuss-bag," He says, putting his head back on the table.

"Are you high?"

"No!" Joker yells, angrily, "I'm tired! It's fucking seven o'clock in the morning!"

I lean back into my chair, mumbling "Crack head" as I do.

"Fuck you, Liam," He snaps.

Just as Joker says that, the classroom door flings open. A man with medium length snowy white hair, a serious five o'clock shadow going on, and light blue eyes strides over to the front desk. He wears a red suit with a red and black tie. "Take out last night's homework," He demands as he throws his suitcase onto the desk.

Every step he takes my eyes dilate.

This person only existed in a video game. He isn't real, well, he is real in some sense. He's imaginary, but somehow he is here. He is here in flesh and blood. It's Dante! The mother fucking demon hunter Dante from the wildly popular video game Devil May Cry is my fucking teacher. And yet, the biggest DMC fan in my class doesn't even seem to notice.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" I scream, standing up and pointing an accusatory finger at him. "WHAT THE HELL!"

Dante looks up at me, surprised. Well, as surprised as a video game character can get. "What, Liam? Did you forget we had homework?" There's something in the way he says it that makes me feel like this is all wrong.

"Don't "what?" me! _YOU_! You are what's wrong! This is all wrong!" I snap.

"Liam, damn!" Joker yells, clearly awake now, "Chill out! It's just our teacher!"

"No," I yell, knocking my books onto the floor. Everyone in the classroom is staring at me wide eyed and jaws ajar. "No! Holy shit, no! He's not our teacher! That…That's… Dante from Devil May Cry!" I start backing away towards the door.

"What the hell is Devil May Cry?" My friend, Razor, asks. He's the biggest DMC fan I've ever known and yet, right now he's denying that it exists.

"Wow, someone forgot to take their Meds this morning," Dante says, as a smile begins to form on his face.

"Says the one that doesn't exist!" I yell.

"Well, if I'm here now, then I'm pretty sure I exist. But feel free to prove otherwise," He says, shrugging.

"Oh my god! I'm dreaming!" I scream, pulling at my hair.

"Calm down, dammit," Joker says.

"Oh, you're very much awake…" Dante cackles.

"No! Because if I were awake you wouldn't be- Why the hell am I arguing with a video game character?" I yell.

Suddenly Dante puts his hand on my shoulder. I feel something sting where he touches me. I start to feel like my head's on the verge of spontaneously combusting. My eyes feel heavy and my body feels like it's gained another thousand pounds. I fall from Dante's grip and hit the ground hard.

The last thing I remember seeing before everything fades to black is Dante's obnoxious grin.

* * *

**Next Chapter: **As If It Couldn't Get Any Worse…

_Edited: 2-21-2011_

**Bring Your Own Kites: **I think this chapter came out better than it did the first time around. As I said before the new chapter will not be up until I'm done fixing the other chapters. I want this to be my perfect fic, so I'm trying to clean everything up.


	3. As if it Couldn't Get any Worse

**III. As If It Couldn't Get Any Worse**

* * *

"_Did you forget to take your meds?"_

_-Placebo_

* * *

All right, I've had my share of unusual/paranormal things but nothing, and I mean NOTHING, compares to this. Most people would be totally psyched if their favorite video character was their teacher. They'd probably run up to them and hug them. And, if given the chance, they'd probably rape them too. Why am I not excited Dante's my teacher… Well, here it comes.

**List No.3**: Why I am not happy Dante's my teacher

**1.** **He replaced my favorite teacher.** If he had replaced any other teacher besides G. Delacour and his brother, I probably wouldn't care. In fact, I'd probably ask him what he did after DMC4. Seriously, why couldn't he have chosen to replace that fat ass, cold hearted, economics teacher of mine? Of all the teacher's why'd he have to replace the coolest one? There's like a one in one hundred and forty three chance of that happening.

**2.** **He's messing with me.** He knows that I know what they don't know. Does that make sense?

**3.** **He's denying that Mr. G. Delacour ever existed.** He's making me look like a psychotic whore in front of my classmates. He knows that no one will ever believe me! He must've wiped out everyone's memories! He had to! Or at least create some kind of illusion to make it seem like he was here all along. Besides, why am I the only that seems to remember the twins? Oh god. Don't tell me he was watching me play DMC last night! This is revenge!

**4. Apparently DMC doesn't exist.** Son of a bitch! I hope he leaves soon. I still have to finish my non-existent game!

**5. He's dangerous.** Wherever Dante goes he ALWAYS brings trouble. Doesn't matter if he's walking to the grocery store or Pizza Hut. Tomorrow our school will be overrun by freaking demons, and not just any demons, the ones that multiply into like 30 before you manage to kill them. Little asexual bastard…dragon thingies…

"Liam?" A voice booms, "Can you hear me?"

"I'm pretending not to…" I mutter.

"Seriously, Liam," The person says, clearly annoyed.

I open my eyes and find myself face to face with the school nurse. And it's not pretty either. She probably fits under my list of people I do not want to see when I wake up from a coma.

"How are you feeling?" She asks, pressing her hand on my forehead.

I'm tempted to say in the most whiniest voice I can possibly make, "Oh Miss. Nurse (assuming she isn't married), glad you have asked. I'm having the worst day of my life. First my mum takes away my PS2 along with my favorite video game- that no longer exist, might I add. Then my parking space is taken by some bitch ass rich dude. I was forced to park two blocks away because all the seniors had decided at their little secret meeting that I clearly wasn't invited to, "Hey, let's drive to school so Liam Emmerich will have to park two blocks away to avoid getting a ticket and then he'll have to walk in the rain". Then when I finally get to the class, sopping wet of course, it turns out my favorite teacher has been replaced by some video game character. Yeah, I said it, video game character. Hard to believe, right? All my friends and fellow classmates think I'm a psychotic fuck and are denying that he even existed. But yeah, Miss. Nurse. I'm doing absolutely fine."

Instead I lie and say, "Yeah, I'm feeling better now. I'd better get back to class now. I've got a test." I ruffle my hair as I sit up. But, of course, I'm not okay. My head hurts, my shoulder hurts even more, and may possibly be losing my mind. I lied because if didn't they'd think there was something really wrong with me and they'd rush me to the hospital. They'll probably end up putting me in a straight jacket too if I keep singing this tune.

There has to be someone who remembers Mr. G. Delacour. I can't be the only one that does. Well, I can but… that's darn near impossible. Actually this all is technically impossible.

"That's it!" I exclaim, getting up and running out of the office. That's when it comes to my mind. If one's gone, the other could still possibly be here. He couldn't have possibly wiped the other twins memory of someone he was born with. He's the only choice I have.

"Liam!" The nurse cries after me, "Take it easy!"

I run down the hallway towards Mr. I. Delacour's classroom. I'm pretty sure he's teaching up in the B-Wing this period. One teacher tells me to slow down, and I do… at least until I turn the corner.

When I finally do get to Mr. I. Delacour's room, I slam the door open. The student's all look at me as if I'm on crack. I bet they're freshman. They look like freshman. My heart sinks almost immediately as I look over at the teacher.

"Can I help you?" An almost exact replica of Dante says. Mr. I. Delacour is gone too and someone so bad ass… yet I hate so much has taken his place, Vergil. He wears his hair slicked back like he does in DMC3. His eyes are still the same blue and his voice is still annoyingly creepy. Now however, he wears brown reading glasses. He wears a light brown suit with a white dress shirt underneath and a solid blue tie to go along with it. He legitly looks like a teacher, too.

"I said, can I help you, Liam?" He repeats.

"Oh my god," I gasp, stepping back.

"Are you all right?" One of the freshman asks.

"No! What kind of stupid, insensitive, question is that, you immature little fuck!" I snap. The freshman cowers in his seat.

I glare at Vergil shortly before I disappear through the doors once more.

So, basically I am the only person that remember the twins. I, too, have to deny their existence. If I don't… then everyone will think I'm nuts. And I really am starting to believe I am. Perhaps DMC never existed and the twins were a figment of my imagination? What if everything that had ever happened to me was all just a dream…?

Or even worse… what if I'm right?

* * *

**Next Chapter:** The Game Plan

_Edited: 2-26-2011_

**Bring Your Own Kites: **Not much has changed in this chapter. I think this is the shortest chapter of this story.


	4. The Game Plan

**IV. The Game Plan**

* * *

"_This is war."  
__-30 Seconds to Mars_

* * *

"Liam, what on earth is wrong with you today?" My less than lovely principal says pacing back and forth the length of the room.

If you're wondering where I am or why I'm here, well this is it. After the whole Vergil incident I guess the son of Sparda viewed me a threat and called security on me. I out ran them for a little while, but then I got bored. Actually I just tripped over a door stopper, which was inconveniently placed in the middle of the hallway. Fuckin' Vergil. Can't take on a 17 year old boy, who is supposedly losing his mind, all by yourself?

"Earth? If this is some kind of alternate reality…or whatever… would Earth be called Htrae?" I ask, raising an eyebrow. Honestly, now that I think about it, it could be an alternate reality. Though…wouldn't Joker be a girl?

My principal doesn't approve of my discovery. He shakes his head disapprovingly and sits down in the chair on the opposite side of the desk. Only then do I realize how fat he is. He can barely even sit in the chair without his fat folding over the sides of the chair. "Liam…" He whispers for a reason beyond me. It's not like anyone on the outside can hear him. "Have you been doing any drugs? Have you been drinking?"

It takes a few moments for my brain to register what has just been said. When it does, I burst out laughing. "Drugs? Drinking? Me?" I begin laughing so hard I start to tear up. "I'm not the one to do drugs. I'm as straight edge as Mario…. Wait… Never mind. I mean, I'm as straight edge as Zelda."

"Then explain your behavior," He says. He's getting angry. It's clear he doesn't have what it takes to handle this. I'm calculating my chances of making out of this room alive. It isn't looking to great either. Right now I'm at a 2% chance of making it out alive.

"Explain my behavior? Psh," I roll my eyes, "There is no explaining to do, unless you want me make up some intricate lie. Okay then. Well… I was off to the Mushroom Kingdom in my Warthog. On my way there, however, an old man stopped me and told me "It's too dangerous to go alone. Take this." Then he hands me a Pokeball and tells me to go slay the all mighty Chocobo at the top of Mercy Hospital. It was going gr-"

"Liam, do you mock my intelligence?" My principal interrupts.

"At this very moment, yes," I nod.

"I don't know what's going on with you, but this smart ass nonsense of yours has to stop."

"Smart ass nonsense?" I laugh.

"Just get out of here. I don't want to see you for the rest of the day," He says pointing at the door.

"You can definitely count on that," I wink as I rise from my seat.

What a strange day this has become. I mean, what are the chances that all of this bad shit can happen to me in one day? Not just the whole mess with Dante and Vergil either. Speaking of Dante… whatever he did to me really hurt. He had like some kind of hidden blade under his sleeves or something. He's the Capcom version of Altair.

Hopefully, by the end of today this will have sorted itself out. Maybe this will turn out to be some kind of twisted, yet mildly entertaining, nightmare?

Later on that day, my little brother Quintus (A.K.A. Quinn), and my mum sit at the dinner table. Dad is on another one of his business trips and won't be back till god knows when.

"How was school today?" My mum asks munching down on some broccoli.

"It was fun," Quinn laughs, shortly before he takes a sip of his drink. Quinn is basically a younger version of me. He wears glasses though and his eyes are hazel with a little mix of blue instead of my incredibly plain brown eyes.

My mom turns her attention to me.

"Eventful…" I say, trying to avoid her eyes.

"I got a call from the school today… They said you were acting up. What happened?" She asks.

For a moment I actually consider telling her about it but I stop myself thinking "Pffft! Oh yes. Like my mum is really going to believe me".

"Stuff of no importance, mum," I reply as I get up from the table, plate in hand.

"Really, Liam. That's not what the principal said. He's worried that you're," Her voice begins to falter, "Well… probably doing things your not supposed to…" She places her fork on the table staring at me as I begin to wash my dishes.

"Mum, do you really think that I, Liam Emmerich, the boy who wears plaid and flannel is even remotely interested in drugs and alcohol?" My mother opens her mouth to say something, but I interrupt her before she has a chance to, "Let me answer that for you. NO!"

"Did your girlfriend break up with you?" She asks.

I almost break a dish, "I don't have a girlfriend!" I snap.

"Okay, cranky," She pouts.

Quinn finally decides to intervene. "Mum," He says, as I leave the kitchen. I love my brother to death but he talks about the most boring things ever.

"What, honey?"

"Everybody at school says that Mr. White has been our teacher since the beginning of the school year… But…" He says, clearly worried.

Holy shit! He's seen them too!

I run back down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"But what, Quinn?" I ask.

Quinn turns his attention to me. "I know he hasn't been," He looks down at the table, "Mr. Appleyard was there yesterday. All of my papers say his name. Why would they if he wasn't my teacher?"

"What does he look like?" I ask, grabbing him by the shoulders.

Quinn stares at me, frightened or maybe in disbelief that I actually might believe him.

"Liam, let go of your brother this instance!" My mum snaps.

I do as I'm told.

"He has white hair… He looks a little older than you," Quinn replies.

Who else in the DMC series has white hair? Trish? No… She's a chick and her hair is dirty blonde. Mundus… no he's ancient… Kyrie… Definitely no. Nero!

"What has this world come to!" I scream running out of the kitchen, arms flailing.

When I wake up the next morning nothing feels different. That same gut feeling is still lingering. That's a very bad sign. If I am still stuck in that hellish nightmare that I was exposed to yesterday I might just go off myself. Actually, that is going a little to far. But I think you get what I mean.

I should mess around with their heads while they're here. Perhaps Dante will actually build DMC, considering it doesn't exist already. I could possibly burn it to the ground. Ah yes, that seems like a grand idea. He'll never see it coming.

"Feeling better?" Quinn yawns as he heads for the bathroom.

"As "better" as you can possibly feel when people think you're nuts," I laugh.

"Well…" Quinn says, shortly before he enters the bathroom, "If it makes you feel any better everyone at school has been staring at me like I'm on LSD cookies."

I stare at him blankly. LSD? Did he just say LSD? "Did you just say LSD?" I ask. I mean I know he's twelve years old… or ten… maybe it was eleven…? Whatever. I didn't know what LSD was until I was 14. I was glued to the television so I didn't really know much about drugs until that fateful day when our cousin got busted with about 32 pounds of it. What an LSD junkie.

"Uh… yeah…" He nods, slowly.

"What has society come to?" I shake my head in dismay. Haven't you noticed- this isn't aimed specifically towards my brother- that the younger generation has been getting… Oh! Wait! Mental list time!

**List No. 4: **Problems with today's teenagers

**1. They're incredibly short.** Oh my god, the ninth graders in my school are so short that the first day I walked into school during the first day of 12th grade I thought that I had walked into the wrong school. But it all started to piece itself together once I realized that they were freshman. Man, they are so tiny.

**2.** **They curse/cuss a lot.** I don't think I started cussing until I was 15, when I had discovered xboxlive and what true douche bags existed out there besides me. Though I eventually became a troll and those are the worst people to come across on xboxlive. Anyway, now kids know the word "fuck" before they learn what Pokemon is. Almost half my age, man. I mean, their sentences are composed of every other word being something foul. Even if they're trying to say something nice. "Oh, hand me that fucking orange, please?" Clean your mouth and maybe I'll think about it.

**3.** **Their style.** Take a look at your fellow peers the next time you go to school. The girls, most of them, if they were in the 1800s they'd be considered whores. The guys, and not all of them, dress like girls would if they were guys. Does that make sense? Like I said before not all of us do. You can tell the druggies from the jocks. The cheerleaders from the artists. The incredibly-addicted-to-video-games-geeks from the-don't-have-time-to-do-anything-else-besides-AP-Homework-nerd.

**4. Their phones are their life force.** They spend every waking moment on their phones. Not only that, they spend it texting. They refuse to put their phone down. And when the teachers take it away, they have the epic bitch fit of the century. Shouldn't have had it out in the middle of a lecture. Oh, don't use that whole "I got bored" bullshit either. Scribble on your paper like our elders used to do. What happened to good ol' scribbling?

**5. Their attitudes.** This clearly applies to me. I'm cocky, I'm arrogant, and I'm most definitely rude. This is and number two apply to me. Us teenagers think we're better than everyone. Perhaps we are. Perhaps we aren't. After all we are the world's future, so who cares?

"You're weird…" Quinn says as he closes the bathroom door.

"Come join the club."

* * *

**Next Chapter: **Hey, Hey, Do That Brand New Thing

_Edited: 3-2-2011_

**Bring Your Own Kites: **I changed the story he tells to his principal this chapter. I made it more game related. If you can guess the six games he mentions, then kudos to you.


	5. Hey, Hey Do That Brand New Thing!

**V. Hey, Hey, Do That Brand New Thing**

* * *

"_He's in turmoil, as puzzled as can be."  
__-Arctic Monkeys_

* * *

When I arrive at school a little while later I decide to stall around a bit. I had to make sure I got into class after Dante did. It is all apart of my plan- my grand scheme. I will not be made a fool of by a bunch of video game characters, assuming they're still here. They're going to regret choosing this school, my life, to fuck up. The game, you imaginary fucks, is on!

"Liam?" A voice calls out to me. I turn around to see the only girl who I would ever want to consider my significant other, Elliott Elluzahc. Since I mentioned her, like any guy my age would, I'm going to talk about her so much you'll puke. Okay, maybe not that much. She's incredibly average, but I think it makes her all the more prettier. I can't quiet figure out if she really does like me or if she's like that with everyone. As strange as this sounds, I feel like I could watch her for hours on end and not get bored.

"Hey," I wave at her. Like me she has her own fashion statement. She always wears the color yellow. I asked her about it once and she replied "The color reminds me of the sun."

"Hi," She says continuing on her way. Besides being incredibly shy, she is completely oblivious to everything. She isn't stupid. I don't think any person that takes all AP classes is stupid. I would've, but I would like to have a life outside of school. Anyway, the only thing that can get her to have a decent conversation is if you mention something about her violin. Unfortunately for me, I don't know much about any instrument, maybe beside the recorder if that counts.

It's about twenty minutes into class when I finally decide to go. However, when I get inside, Dante is nowhere to be seen. I sigh, annoyed and angry, and take my seat. I can feel everyone's eyes on me. If they stare any harder I might eventually combust into flames.

"So, Liam…" Joker says, lifting his head off of the table. "Wanna explain what happened yesterday?"

I guess it _isn't_ over.

"Oh, shut the hell up, crack head," I sneer, leaning back into my seat.

"I think you're the one doing crack now," Joker replies.

"Oh no. I'm the only one aware of this twisted reality. You, on the other hand as well as everyone else in this classroom, are a victim of memory loss. Well, or I'm in an alternate reality of some sorts, but you get the idea," I laugh trying not to sound too crazy.

"Memory loss, you say?" I hear Dante say from the door way.

I turn towards the door. Is it possible to hate someone so much? Honestly, right now the only thing I want to do right now is leap over my desk, tackle Dante out of the room, and start wailing on him. I wonder how he'd feel if a perfectly human teenager beat the hell out of him? He'd probably cheat by using Rebellion or another one of his many weapons in his arsenal.

"Yeah, memory loss or possible brainwashing," I say, crossing my arms.

"You're a funny one, kid," Dante chuckles, "Still think I'm some video game character?"

"Actually as a matter of fact," I smirk, "I do."

"Someone needs to take his meds."

"Someone needs to get the fuck out of my world and go back to his own pixelated world. But that's just my opinion."

"Damn, Liam!" I hear Razor shout from somewhere in the room.

"Liam, step outside the classroom for a minute," Dante says turning his back to me. He leaves the room.

"Liam, if he lays one finger on you scream "rape". That way we know to go out there and kick the shit out of him," I hear my friend, Cloud, yell. His real name is Bryce, but he, like Joker and Razor, prefers to be called by a nickname. Since he wasn't here yesterday, I'm going to assume that by his reaction no one has filled the poor guy in about what happened. Some friends we are, right?

When I get out of the classroom, half expecting Rebellion to impale my stomach, Dante is leaning against some lockers, arms crossed.

"You caught on pretty quick, kid," Dante says as a grin forms on his face, "This is going to be quite a challenge. I really thought most of you were stupid."

"Most of us are and unfortunately for you I am not most of them," I sneer, closing the classroom door behind me. I stop a few feet away from him. I'm feel like he's going to make Rebellion form out of nowhere and cut me into two. Hopefully he won't do that now, though. I mean he could let me be admitted into a mental institution and that would solve all of his problems.

"Look here, kid," Dante says, still grinning. He's a troll. I swear to Nobuo Uematsu that Dante is the ultimate troll. "No one is going to believe you. I suggest that you quit trying to make everyone else believe that we're some game characters. You're making yourself look stupid without my help," He starts laughing, "Just go along with it. Aren't you glad that for once your life isn't boring? And, kid, it's been killing me, but that plaid shirt looks really stupid."

I stand there, dumbfounded. He really did tell me off in the most logical manner ever. A video game character just dissed me. How do I respond? How do I go about this? "I'm not going to pretend anymore that I don't remember the Delacours. I'm not going to be some brainwashed vegetable. It's not who I am. And my plaid shirt isn't stupid, the stupid outfit you're wearing right now is. I mean, what the hell are you wearing? A suit? Now that you're here, I am determined, like that time I spent 17 hrs straight playing The Legend of Zelda, to get your lame ass out of my world. Maybe, just maybe, if you would've replaced someone other than my two favorite teachers I would've continued about my business. I would've pretended that they never did exist. I'd probably be drooling over you too," Dante raises an eyebrow to me, "No homo." I add quickly.

"That's not the only thing you'll be determined about," He smiles.

"What?" I ask, wide eyed. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Hold the freakin' phone! Is he coming onto me? Oh my god! Maybe he is gay! Maybe all those slash fics are right! Everything I know is a lie!

"Right now you're just some kid crying wolf. You can't even prove that I don't belong here or that these teachers you speak of ever existed. No one else remembers them."

Oh, phew. Okay. Oh man, I got nervous there for a second.

"Quinn does! Quinn believes me!" I yell, almost as if I'm trying to convince my self too, "I'm not crazy."

"Well, where it stands now, kid, you are," Dante chuckles, "If you want to go against me, which you eventually will if you make it that far, it is not a wise choice. I can do whatever I want here. I can give you a weeks worth of detention for just talking back to me. I can say that you assaulted me, whatever, they'll believe me. You know why? Because you non-pixalated humans are too stupid to tell who is lying and who is telling the truth."

I stare at him for a while. He's so different now. Is this even Dante? Maybe it's his evil twin… Wait… Dante's evil twin is Vergil. Well, whoever this is has a major stick up his ass. I'm not going to take this shit from him. _Hell freakin' no!_

"You arrogant, pompous, son of a bitch!" I yell, "You can play your shit the way you want, but fuck you. If it's a game you want, then it's a game you've got. Just don't expect me to play fair."

If this bitch is gonna give me a weeks worth of detention for proving him wrong, then I'll just burn his home/DMC down. Again, considering DMC even exists here. Anyway, I'm not gonna stop with his shop either. I'm going to make his motorcycle explode! "You're going to be begging to leave by the time I'm done with you. I'm gonna mess you up so bad that you won't be able to think properly, renowned Demon Hunter Dante!" I turn my back to him and storm back into the classroom.

"We'll see about that," He laughs.

I start cracking up as soon as I get back to my seat. I lay my head on the table, like Joker usually does and try desperately to contain my laughter. I can't believe I had the guts to tell Dante off. I feel so complete right now. All the fan/girls/boys would beat the living shit out of me if they were here.

Dante walks into the classroom a few seconds after I sit down. He has a smug grin on his face. His eyes lock with mine for a brief moment, then they quickly avert elsewhere. If you could die from a look, I think I would be dead fifteen times over.

"Ah man!" Cloud complains, "I was hoping that you'd shout rape…"

"You would, Cloud," I sigh, not sure if he hears me or not.

Before I have a chance to really settle down, the bell rings signaling it's time for us to move onto our next class. Thankfully my next class is not with Vergil. I don't know how I'll react to seeing him…again. I hate him too because he kept beating the shit out of me in DMC3. Oh, that and he called security on me because I was a threat to the other students. Useless!

I sit down in my next class , feeling oddly proud of myself. I lay my head on the table once again. You know that feeling you get when you just want to laugh in someone, anyone's, face? Well, that's how I'm feeling. I might just laugh in my English teacher's face when he walks into the room.

"Just shut up. You're giving me a headache," I hear a familiar voice say. I don't know where I heard it before and I can't put a face to the person. "I said we've got it covered."

I sit up just as the bell rings once more.

I find myself staring at another one of the I-don't-belong-here-white-hair-males. I'm not as surprised this time around. I already know from Quinn's experience that Nero is here. But I can't help but feel angry. What the hell is really going on here? Is the whole gang really here?

"All right, I'm your sub for today," Nero says writing "Mr. White" on the chalkboard. "I really don't care what you do so long as you don't go on a rampage and destroy the classroom or kill anyone."

I raise my hand slowly into the air.

"Yeah, what do you want?" Nero asks. Nero looks the same as ever. Same hair, face, and eyes. Unlike Dante and Vergil, he does not wear a suit. He wears his outfit in DMC4, except the long blue coat with red on the inside is now cut to just below his waist. His arm seems to be normal too. Which isn't much of a surprise. I mean, if it weren't he'd be shipped off to Area 51.

"Are you here with Dante and Vergil?" I ask.

Nero raises an eyebrow at me. "What?"

"You know, you're little demon-posse," I reply.

"Oh and if you're on crack, please go sit in the corner," Nero says, shaking his head, "I don't feel like filling paper work out." He turns back around to face the board.

"I'm not on crack and I really don't like corners. I know that you, Dante, and Vergil have you know… waltzed your way into our world…" I say, a hint of anger in my voice, "and replaced my favorite teachers…"

Nero spins on his heels to look at me. He has a questionable expression on his face. "What did you say your name was?" He asks looking down at a piece of paper.

"I never said it, but it's Liam," I reply.

"Oh, _that _Liam," He nods his head.

"Huh? What do you mean "_That Liam_"? Have you guys been talking about me?" I ask. What if they're plotting different ways to get rid of me?

"I heard in the teacher's lounge that a kid named Liam threw an epic tantrum," He replies, pulling a chair up to my desk.

"I did not throw an epic tantrum!" I yell.

"Yeah, sure, whatever," He rolls his eyes.

**List No.5: Why **_**I**_** like Nero better than Dante & Vergil**

**1. **His moves. I like to move it, move it. I like to move it! Uh, yeah, sorry. Went off on another random tangent again. His arm is freakin' beast. I mean, Dante and Vergil can't grab stuff with their arms- well considering they don't have demon arms. Nero can grab just about anything. Especially those demented scarecrow things and bash them against the floor repeatedly. Dante on the other hand has to spend an f'ing hour shooting them with his guns.

**2. **His chick. Dante's got Trish and Lady. Trish, no offense, is ugly as a hell and Lady looks like one of those lesbian biker chicks. Nero has Kyrie, who I freaking adore. Unfortunately she's all in love with Nero so if she is here there is no chance in hell that I am going to get her to be mine, but it was a thought. As for Vergil…well… uh… He doesn't have one. The only person he spends a lot of time with is Arkham and I don't think he wants to go for a guy that dresses up as a Jester. He was the Jester right?

**3. **His clothes. I'm freaking impressed with his choice of clothes. He almost looks normal. Almost. Look at Dante and Vergil. Horrible looking suits here and weird red and blue trench coats in the games. Sure, they fit them, it's just that I wouldn't want to be caught dead in them. Dante even had the balls to make fun of my clothes. Sorry, man, that just doesn't float with me.

**4. **His attitude. If you think about it, Nero and I are alike in a lot of aspects. Dante…well… there's something about him that just makes me want to deck him in the face. Sure, before all of this went down I used to think he was the coolest thing Capcom had ever created, next to Servbots of course. But now, not so much. Vergil? He's a gay fish and boring as hell. His extreme monotone voice makes me want to off myself. Well, not off myself, but I feel like he's one of those guys who you wouldn't want to read you a book because he'd make it seem more dull than it already is. Nero, not only has an awesome voice (A.K.A. Johnny Yong Bosch), he's a smart ass. Oh and by the way, he isn't emo. If your girlfriend/boyfriend got kidnapped would you be strutting down the street all happy? Didn't think so.

At least I'm getting along with someone…for now.

* * *

**Next Chapter: **Some People Really Suck

_Edited: 3-2-2011_

**Bring Your Own Kites: **Once again, no much has really changed in this chapter. Only more chapter to fix and then I'll put up CH. 11.


	6. Some People Really Suck

**VI. Some People Just Really Suck**

* * *

"_I'll just make a mess of it, ya know."  
__-Incubus_

* * *

I am honestly starting to believe that I'm really out of my juice box. That's Quinn's way of saying "crazy". It's still only the second day of this so called crisis, but I'm about to pull out my hair and run down the hallways screaming bloody murder. I'm actually having a decent conversation with Nero. Funny thing is, I'm not cursing him out either. It's not like he replaced my English teacher. He's a temporary sub…right? He'll be gone tomorrow, most likely teaching in Quinn's school. Speaking of Quinn…

"Hey, do you know a kid in the middle school named Quintus Emmerich?" I ask.

Nero's eyes narrow, "Yeah, I know him. What about him?"

Judging by his immediate reaction to his name, I think it's safe to assume that Quinn's been giving him a hard time. I can actually imagine Quinn and Nero going at each other. I don't think Quinn cusses yet… at least not that I know of.

"He's my little brother," I smile. But it's that awkward smile. That smile when you don't know if you should or shouldn't be smiling.

Nero sits back in his chair. He looks pretty unhappy about the whole situation.

"Uh… judging by your reaction, I'm going to say that you…don't like him or you think he's annoying?"

"Annoying doesn't even begin to describe that kid. He's a walking encyclopedia. If this was my world, your little brother would be dead. I say that with the utmost amount of hate I could ever possibly have," He groans.

"It's not that bad," I lie to myself. It really is that bad. And Quinn really is a walking encyclopedia.

"Not that bad! Are you fucking kidding me?" He shouts standing up. "Imagine having him cling to you all while saying "Where's Mr. Applefarm or whatever? Why doesn't anyone believe me? You're from that game my brother's always playing." You're probably just like the damn kid!"

"Oh, now you're making false presumptions!" I snap at him. I wish I could control my horrible temper, oh well. "You're just like your stupid buddies that you hitchhiked here with!"

"I'm not like them!" He yells back.

"I'm not like my brother!" I scream.

"You're sure acting like it!"

"That's not what your mom said!"

"Liam, what the hell's wrong with you!" I hear Razor shout.

I turn on my heels and point an accusatory finger at my friend. "Shut the hell up, Charlie! I've been dealing with your shit since yesterday! You don't even know what's going on!"

Razor stands up and begins screaming back at me. "Don't call me Charlie, William!"

"Hah! That'd be a good one, except for the fact that Liam's not short for William, douche bag!" What a freaking noob! I've known him for about three years and counting and he still doesn't know Liam is my real name! I'm not all "Argh my name is retarded! I guess I'll make up some awesome name for myself". Tells what the hell he's thinking about!

I hear stifle laughing coming from the kids in my class. Razor's face lights up a bright red. Embarrassment at it's finest. This is just grand! I have managed to piss off my favorite Devil May Cry character and the only real chance I had at figuring out why they are here in the first place. Not only that but I'm pretty sure I pissed off all of my friends. I am just the greatest person in this universe.

"By the time you figure out what's going on it'll be too late!" Nero's face twists with anger, "I'll make sure that they never let the simplest detail slip from their mouths!"

"You keep acting all high and mighty and shit. But I know you guys! No one is perfect, even if you were designed to be as such! I'm sure one of you fuckers is going to slip up and then I'll get the information I need to piece all of this together! I'm a lot smarter than you guys believe I am. I will _not _be made a fool of! I will cheat, play dirty, whatever to find out what I need." I hiss.

"I don't know what you just said, but fuck you too, Liam," Razor says.

"Well," I slowly inch my way towards the door, "I think I've overstayed my visit… So I'm just gonna book out of here before your reputations are tarnished with murder…" I run out of the classroom when they begin to yell at me some more.

Okay… Now I've got to piece this together. I'm gonna have to become a spy. I need to find a little posse of people to help me piece this together. So far Quinn is the only other person that can "see" the change. Why on earth would a bunch of video game characters come to one of the worst places in the galaxy? Oh! Wait! Hah!

**List No.6: **The reasons why Dante and Co. could be here

**1. **To kill all the fan boys/girls. This kinda makes sense. I bet Trish was playing around on the computer when she stumbled across fanfiction(dot)net. Then she happened to see the Devil May Cry Category and thinking that it was Dante's shop page she clicked on it. What she found was Yaoi and Yuri alike about them. It really got her when she came across a fic about the renowned Devil Hunter and herself. She shared this info with Dante and they pledged to kill all of us.

2. To kill all us gamers. Seriously! I bet they were watching me all those times when I let Dante die on purpose. Of course I haven't played as Vergil yet, but you can bet that when I do, _if _I ever pick up a game again after this, that I'll do the same thing to him. I have a feeling the conversation went something like , "Look at this fucking kid! He's not even fucking trying! Let's go fuck this bitch up!". Okay maybe he didn't say it like that, but something similar to it.

3. They found… a Stargate. They were all walking around in that forest where Dante and Nero fought that one She-viper-bitch when they stumbled across a Stargate. You know what Stargate is right? Everyone knows what Stargate is. Anyway, Kyrie warned them not to go through it, but they didn't listen, ("It's just a puddle, baby, lighten up"), so as a result they're here. But that still doesn't explain why they have assumed the roles of my teachers. This is some dilemma.

4. Two nights ago. I guess this can kinda go along with the whole "kill all us gamers", but I feel like this deserves it's own category since it's pretty important. Like number two, the Devil Hunter and his twin brother were watching me play Devil May Cry 3 through some magical television. Dante was getting pissed cause I kept getting owned and Vergil was getting mad because he should've kicked the shit out of Dante faster. I mean faster? Thirty seconds isn't enough? Oh that's right! Vergil has standards. He has to beat Dante in ten seconds or else.

5. The Poltergeist (or Persona 4). Dante was watching some… I don't know… uh… _When_ _Asexual Dragon Thingies Attack and How to Put a Stop to Them _and there was this fly on the television that was getting on his nerves. He went to smack it with his hand when suddenly his hand went through the screen. Freaked out he called his nemesis and his buddy. After that they all went into the TV world which lead them here. Would that make me the main character of this TV show or what? Watch my mum is the freakin' main character and I'm her schizophrenic son.

6. They lost a bet. Being the cocky bitches they are, they made a bet with someone. Don't know who, but they lost and now they're here. And I bet that whoever they bet with won by pure luck or the Devil Hunter and Co. made a very silly mistake.

7. They're in the process of a bet! Someone was probably all like "Yeah, so what if you're Devil Hunters. I bet you couldn't handle a bunch of teenagers from Earth!". And they responded something like, "I bet we can." They made all the necessary preparations and stuff… but they underestimated one thing. ME!

8. They lost Yamato… again. Not the first time it's happened. I bet Trish took that and Sparda's sword and came here. I mean that's what she did in Devil May Cry 4. She knew the only way she could get Dante off his fat ass was to persuade him through… well… stealing the two famed swords. As an attempt to not arise suspicion, they took over the lives of my teachers.

9. There's something that's threatening Earth. There's probably some huge ass demon hiding in Lake Ronkonkoma. So they've disguised themselves as my teachers in order to stop the oncoming threat without being noticed. Well, the noticed part obliviously failed. It kind of ties into "by the time you realize what's going on, it'll be too late" thing that Nero had spouted off about. How badly would it suck if one of those asexual dragon thingies are hiding underneath my school? A giant one at that?

By the time I finish my mental list I'm by the cafeteria. I never really pay attention to where I'm going or what I'm doing when I make one of them. I do hate it when that happens, but it passes the time quite well when I don't feel like listening to my economics teacher ramble on about how his son crashed his car through Taco Bell.

I sneak past the two teachers on lunch duty. More like I walk passed them without them realizing it, and if they do realize, well… they do not give me a second glance.

I take a seat somewhere in the center of the cafeteria. For some reason the kids in my school don't sit in the center of the cafeteria. Apparently during my first year a light came loose and fell on a kid's head. Then again it could also be because a ceiling tile came loose during a storm and fell to the floor.

I lay my head on the table. I need to think. What could Nero have possibly meant by "By the time you realize what's going on here, it'll be too late"? Is that some kind of warning that they aren't here for kicks and giggles?

I can't exactly pretend that the twins never existed, especially after I screamed like a psychopath on PCP at Dante. Though it would make everything a whole lot easier. Instead of sitting here pondering like a scientist, I could be laughing my ass off in Nero's class like an idiot.

"…Liam?" I hear this girl, Nora, say. Nora is my friend Cloud's girlfriend. No matter how hard I try I just can't see what he sees in this girl. She nudges me in all the wrong ways. It's like she knows exactly what buttons to push to make me flip out and she takes advantage of it all the time.

I open my eyes to see Nora taking a seat in front of me. Something is a bit off about her today. Usually she curses at me as she's passing by, but today, nothing. Maybe she's pregnant with Cloud's kid. Oh god. Oh god no. "Hey…" I say, meekly.

"What are you doing here?" She asks.

"Skipping class. What does it look like I'm doing?" I reply sitting up straight.

"…You really shouldn't do that…" Her eyes flash down to the table, "You know they're looking for a reason to suspend you…"

"Trust me. Getting suspended for four days is little compared to what I've endured the last two days. And since when do you give a crap if I get suspended or not?" She is acting pretty weird.

Nora shifts nervously in her seat. "Liam… I…" She shakes her head. Oh shit! Is she going to confess her undying love for me? If so that'd be f'ing gruesome! I think that I'd get some nasty glares from Joker, Razor, and especially Cloud. "I think there's something strange going on…" _Thank goodness. _I would never hear the last of "You stole my f'ing girlfriend, you man whore!".

"Wait, you know?" I ask leaning forward.

"I feel like…something bad is going to happen and we can't do anything about it but sit around and wait till it happens," She whispers.

At least Quinn and I aren't the only ones who realize there's something fishy going on around here. Though, Nora is the only person I would never work together with. I'd rather be buried alive. "You know about them?"

"Yeah," She nods her head firmly.

"Well, uh, this is great," As far as great goes when the only other person who believes you is a bitch. "I guess you could help me figure out what's going on." I'd rather have someone else help me with this. Even that awkward kid in who sits in the back of economics class spouting off that the end of the world is coming would be better. I guess I'll have to settle for what I can get.

Nora looks around the cafeteria nervously as if someone is listening in on our conversation. "Liam, I think we should just let things be the way they are now. We can pretend that the Delacours never existed. It could be our own little secret. Why would you want to ruin it? Isn't this our chance to ask them things? Why figure out why they're here?" She asks, looking straight into my eyes.

And here we are again. Pissed off. She clearly doesn't know what she's talking about. I wanna know why them and not someone else? Why Ronkonkoma and not Colorado Springs? Why the fuck am I asking so many questions?

"It's just so much easier to forget about them, right? Don't want to put too much effort in figuring out why they're here, is that it?" I ask, "I have to know why." Especially after that comment by Nero.

"Why do you have to question everything? Why can't you just go along with it? Do you have to be different than everyone else?" She hisses.

"Right now, I could give a shit," I say voice slowly rising, "I'm being called a psychotic whore because no one else can tell that our teachers have been replaced. Why is it that you, Quinn, and I are the only ones that can tell there's something wrong? Doesn't it seem a teeny bit fishy?"

"I'm not going to let you ruin this, Liam," She yells. I notice people are staring at us now.

In an effort to make Nora look stupid in front of the whole cafeteria I yell, "No! I don't want to have sex with you, Nora. Especially if you have gonorrhea!"

The expression her face is priceless. "…what?"

I simply get up from the table without saying a single word and leave the cafeteria. It's taking all I can not to fall on the ground laughing. Hmm… Let's count how many people I've pissed off today so far… One… two… three… four… and I think I know who is going to be number five.

* * *

**Next Chapter: **Oh, I Know That the Hypnotized Never Lie

_Edited: 3-3-2011_

**Bring Your Own Kites: **This list took such a long time to come up with when I first wrote it. This is the chapter I finally figured out what where I was going to take this story. Chapter eleven should be up sometime later today or early tomorrow morning.


	7. Oh, I Know That the Hypnotized Never Lie

**VII. Oh, I Know that the Hypnotized Never Lie**

* * *

_"I won't say a word to follow your instincts  
__Which just never worked for me."  
-Taking Back Sunday_

* * *

"I'm really disappointed in you again, Mr. Emmerich," The principal says crossing his arms and staring at me intently as if I'm going to grow another head.

I tap my fingers impatiently on the chair I'm currently occupying.

"What is wrong with you, Liam?"

_What the fuck did I just do?_

"Liam?"

Oh yeah…

* * *

**(Twenty minutes ago- Vergil's Class)**

"I trust that you'll behave yourself," Vergil whispers as I walk into the classroom. I immediately give him one of my everyday "shut the fuck up, dude, I'm having a bad day as it is, and you- Mr. Son of Sparda Two, aren't helping" looks.

I take my usual seat on the left side of the classroom. Sadly, though, Razor sits next to me, and I'm pretty sure he's still pissed of about last period. And damn, if Nora told Cloud what I said to her last period, he's probably gonna slice my head off.

Joker is lucky contestant number one! He looks at me for a brief moment, all while scratching his facial hair. Some gears are turning! Oh my god, he can fucking think! NO WAY!

"Hey, Liam," He says finally.

"Hi," I wave.

He takes the seat in front of me. "So Liam…" He says, stretching his arms, "Remember that talk we had…"

"About Lacy su-"

"NO!" He lights up different shades of red, "Not that talk."

"Um…" I scratch my head. God, we've had so many "talks". That one about how he couldn't get his cat to stop attacking the television when he's playing Call of Duty. Or that one when he wondered if he could burn off all of his leg hair…uhm…yeah…mucho awkward. Or that one about when he kept having reoccurring nightmares about this Pokemon that would slice his head off. "Which one then?"

"Y'know…" He says, all shifty-eyed.

"Obviously not."

"C'mon! We just talked about it a few days ago!"

I stare blankly at him. "Oh, god. No. You…you've…contracted an STD from Lacy!" I scream clambering away from him.

"NO, YOU DUMBSHIT!" He snaps, slapping me upside the head.

I sit back down. "Well, then obviously we're on two totally different pages, buddy."

"You know what nevermind then, I don't even give a shit anymore," He sighs in frustration.

"Oh don't get pissed off at me because you think I know what you're talking about and I'm pretending not too by acting like a complete douche bag to everyone," I lecture him.

"Oh, so you do know what I'm talking about!" He grins.

"I just said I don't!" I snap.

"You clearly just said you were pretending not to know," He raises an eyebrow to me.

"You…" I point at him, "are a fucking crackhead."

"Fuck you, Liam!"

"No, man! Fuck you!" I hiss. "You have no idea what I'm going through right now! You can't even comprehend the feelings I have swelling up inside of me!"

"Are you telling me…you're gay?"

"NO!" I cry out, banging my fists on the table. Fuck it! Fuck it! This world and the next, fuck it! "I'm talking about something with no relevance to that!

"Dude, Liam just confessed his love for Joker," I hear Bryce (Cloud) say, with a hint of anger. "First you tell my girlfriend you don't want to have sex with her and now you're…confessing…your love for…that…country corn flake…" I guess Nora told him what happened, huh? Stupid whiny little…

"NO! I'm talking about something totally separate! You can't just join in on the conversation suddenly and expect to know what's going on, dammit!" I scream.

"Everyone, I have an important announcement to make!" Cloud yells, standing on top of his desk. "Liam," He points down at yours truly. " Yes, Liam Emmerich here is-"

I throw my Kingdom Hearts Roxas Necklace, y'know the one that looks like a shuriken, at him. He ducks down just in time to dodge it. It whizzes past and continues onto its next target… Vergil.

_Oh. My. God. _

It manages to cut barely through the skin of his cheek, leaving remnants of blood behind. And all the fangirls in the world would've just killed me for damaging his flawless skin.

Cloud, as well as the rest of the class and I, stare in horror at our teacher.

"Mr. Emmerich…" He calls out, as he places his hand on his cheek. He smears the blood onto his face as he tries to wipe it off.

"Y-Yes?"

His eyes glow red. SERIOUSLY.

* * *

…And that's the story of how I got where I am now.

Honestly, I didn't even think I'd make it out of the room…alive. I thought he was going to make Yamato form out of thin air and cut me…and I guess, Cloud too since it is kind of his fault. As matter of fact, I'm surprised he didn't slaughter the whole class, then go on a massive killing spree.

Note to self: (Not my list. Just a random useless- okay not useless because I this is now top priority- note) Assassinate Cloud. Erm… I mean…

"EMMERICH!" My principal screams in my ear.

"WHAT!" I snap, "There's no need to yell. I can hear you loud and clear. Control your temper, man."

"Emmerich…what has gotten into you?" He shakes his head disapprovingly as he goes to sit back down. "What happened to our star math student? What happened to the boy that never had to come here unless it was for something school related? Have you been hanging out with the wrong crowd? What? I just don't understand."

What the fuck's gotten into me? Well, I'll tell you. I'm going crazy! Everyone thinks I'm a fucking lunatic. My friends now think I'm gay due to a horrible translation and are now pissed off at me due to the fact that I humiliated them or their girlfriend in front of the entire school population. My teachers are some random badass video game characters with an unknown motive. I just assaulted one of them completely by accident too. So, seriously? What do you think is wrong? Just take a guess.

_Obviously _someone had the wrong image of me in his mind. Completely wrong. Oh well. Best not ruin the old man's hopes and dreams…not to mention his terrible accuracy with…well…judging people.

"…Can I go now?" I ask.

"Not until you tell me what's going on."

"I think we're going to be here for quiet a while…" I groan, as I slump deeper into my seat.

"No, you're going to tell me."

"Or what? You're going to call my mommy and daddy?"

He opens his mouth to say something, but quickly shuts it.

"Can I go?" I'm bored.

"Mr. Emmerich… I didn't want to do this…but…I'm afraid…I'm going to have to…" He sighs deeply as he rises from his desk.

"Oh noes! Don't rape me," I say, throwing my hands into the air and making the most squeak-ish voice I could possibly make.

"You have ISS!" He snaps, face glowing red. I don't think he's blushing, that's for sure. "You are getting on my last nerve!"

"You have a short amount of nerves then…"

"Just shut up and go to the ISS room!" He points towards the exit.

"Where's the ISS room?" I ask, trying to sound like I really don't know where ISS room is. I'm just pulling this guy's strings. I wanna see how long it takes for him to punch me in the face. Hey, maybe if I'm lucky he'll have a heart attack from being all pissy with me and then I won't have to go. Ah…that's such a bad thing to say it's not even funny. Heh… Who am I kidding?

He storms out of the room. "Lancaster can you please "escort" Mr. Emmerich to the ISS room?"

"Yahes, sir! I can and I most definitely will! I'll get him there as quick as a little bunny! You can count on it!" An incredibly familiar voice replies. I'm tempted to tell them to shut the fuck up. There's something about that voice that's just… irking me in all the wrong directions… It's like if I go out there… I'm just gonna scream…and scream…and scream… and- I think you get the point.

The principal pokes his head back into the room. "Go, Liam. And try not to cause any more trouble on your way."

"Er…will…do…?" I say hesitantly.

I really don't want to step foot outside this room… Argh! What the hell! It can't be that bad right? It's not like it's the most annoying person or thing in the entire DMC universe, right? Right? Oh, god. Please say I'm right… Perfect timing too… for my seventh list!

**List No.7: **The most annoying people/enemies in the DMC universe

1. Those asexual dragon thingies that spilt up into like 40 different things before you have the chance to kill them. Ugh… I hate theses stupid little pests. Seriously? After an epic boss fight with that giant worm in DMC 3 they make me duke it out with some…single-celled demons? What kind of shit is that?

2. Agnus. You have no idea how hard I wanted to slap the shit out of this guy. Hey, with the way things are going, maybe I'll get my chance! All he does is whine and whine and when you fight him for the…second time I think he scuttles away from you like a little girl! Can you get anymore humiliating?

3. Mundus. Seriously. This guy has been through hell and back…literally. I'm pretty sure he was in one of the earlier Devil May Cry games. Just the fact that he failed to accomplish whatever he was trying to accomplish in the first place, pisses me off. Seriously. If one cocky white haired demon hunter thwarts your plans once and another does it what? Four or fives times, what make you think that you can even think about succeeding if they're constantly up your ass fuckin' up everything you do!

4. That Giant Worm you fight shortly before you encounter the asexual dragon thingies. Every time I play DMC 3…even though…I've never beaten it…thanks to a little group of people… Anyway…away from the rather emo moment… Everytime I play DMC 3 and I have to fight that stupid whatever that thing is…flying worm or some shit… I just want to pull my hair out. Maybe even chuck the controller at the television. I really think they need a strap for all the gaming controllers' y'know specifically made for the people who have a short temper. Ah…that might not work… because then they'd swing it at the ground and yeah…

5. Jester. Without a fucking doubt he wins with a landslide. He could be saying "It's at the grocery store" but he'll say, "They ground up the cows, poison the ground with pesticides and insecticides, waste earth's precious resources to pack consumable items, all to bring it to this one location!" Then you'll just stare at him and say "Can you repeat that?"

I exit the room.

"ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I scream as soon as I step out the room. I fall backwards and land on my ass. I start to claw my back towards the principal's office.

NOT THE JESTER! WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY! WHY ME!

Everyone in the office stares at me as if I have just given birth to a child.

Jester stares at me with the most obnoxious grin ever. He slowly tilts his head to the side, making the grin all the more creepier. I feel my eye twitch.

"C'mon kiddo! We need to get you to that little torture chamber! Hahahahahahahaha!" He laughs like a maniac.

"I-I…can find…it…m-myself…" I stare at him or it…whatever the fuck that scary piece of shit is, wide eyed.

* * *

**Next Chapter: **Dog Days Are Over

_Edited: 3-3-2011_

**Bring Your Own Kites: **Just fixed a few small errors.


	8. Dog Days Are Over

**VIII. ****Dog Days Are Over**

* * *

_"This is ourselves, under pressure."  
-Queen & David Bowie_

* * *

The Jester reaches for my shirt and I immediately turn around and run back into the Principle's Office. I slam the door shut behind me. "Give me OSS I beg you of you! Just- Just don't let him anywhere near me!" I cry, grabbing onto my principal's collar.

"Emmerich! What are you doing!" He yells.

"Give me OSS! Now! Please! I promise I'll be a good boy!" I scream.

"Are you kidding me? After you just insulted me, you think I'm going to give you what you want?" My principal snaps, trying to get my hands off of his collar.

"No, I am not kidding you!" I yell.

"Get out of my office!" He snaps.

Seems like I'm not going to get my wish unless I do something drastic. I need a few days off from school or something. I need to collect my thoughts. Something. Anything. The Jester is going to make me go insane.

I let go of his shirt. I am so going to regret this later on in my life. But… I have to- well I don't necessarily have to, but if I don't there's a good chance I will lose my mind before I get to the ISS room. I pick up the snow globe on his desk and chuck it at the wall. I cover my face as it shatters.

"What on earth is wrong with, Liam!" My principal yells, grabbing my arm. "I'm afraid I'm going to have call your mother…" He pulls me along to the chair, where I just continue to cover my face. I am trying awfully hard not to laugh, mind you. I mean, really hard.

Well, that performance right there is enough for about… five or six days of OSS. Did you guys like my lovely little acting there? I didn't really either. It definitely is not something I will be proud of when my principal thinks of me for now on. I'm probably the first kid in this school's history to ever beg for OSS then break the beloved snow globe passed down from generation to generation of principals. Maybe I'll win an award for that? Probably not though.

I probably sit in the chair mulling over my thoughts for about an hour before the principal comes back into the room. My mum is right beside him, along with my older sister, Florence, who just came up from Florida. She goes to college down in Florida. She rarely ever calls us, but when she does, you just beg for her to shut up and hope she'll hang up the phone soon.

"Liam. God, honey. You look pale," My mum says rushing over to me. Which is kinda funny because I'm always pale. She puts her hand on my forehead. "Oh dear, I think you have a fever!"

"No, Mum. I feel fine," I say, pulling my head away from her hand.

Mum elbows me in the side. I hold my side in pain.

"We should get you home," She says, grabbing my arm and pulling me out of the Principal's office.

Before we leave, Florence says she's going to stick around to check up on the teachers she had when she used to go here. I don't think she had the Delacours… if she did, I don't remember.

"Liam," My mum says, "I got the principal to give you OSS for three days…well that was the lowest amount he was going to give you. The highest was two weeks. But you have to stop this…nonsense. It's your last year of school and we don't want you to be held back because of your behavior."

"Yeah…mum…it won't happen again…" I roll my eyes. We all know it's going to happen again.

When my mum heads off for work I decide to go into her room to see if Devil May Cry is still in the disk tray of my Playstation. If it is, which it's probably not, I can still prove that I am not insane and that I didn't actually imagine the Delacours.

My mum's room is a mess. She writes books in her free time and works as a nurse most of the time. She's naturally a messy person and usually just leaves the cleaning up to Quinn and I… More like to Quinn cause I spend about 63 percent of my day locked in my room play some type of video game or surfing the web.

I decide to start in the places that would seem to be the most obvious. First is the bed. Underneath it lies the failed manuscripts of my mother's work. I start to pull the useless papers from under the bed.

"Jesus Christ. How many freakin' manuscripts does this woman have!" I snap.

Eventually I pull all the stacks of paper out, but it's nowhere to be found. I shove all the papers back underneath the bed. I then go to check her closet. I slide the closet doors open and there it is. Lying on top of one storage cabinets is my beloved PS2 Slim. I reach up and grab it. I start to press the power button only to realize that it has to be connected. I plug the cord in and hit the ejection button.

My heart beats out of tune as I wait for it to open.

"Wha…?" I stare at the game. "It's still here!" I hold the game up. The game still exists so I am not going insane! Take that world! I unplug the Playstation and bring it into my room.

Once everything is set up, I pull my gaming chair up and wait for the game to load.

_361 KB are required to play this game. Create new data? _

_-Yes  
__-No_

Create new data? WHAT THE FUCK! WHERE IS MY SAVE DATA! I start to pull at my hair. This is fucking stupid! Arghhhhhh! My save data! I was so close to beating him! I throw my controller to the ground.

THIS SUCKS. This is almost as bad as- wait for it. Wait for it…

**List No.8: **Things that Royally Suck

**1. Going to play a game that you haven't played in a while to find it's broken. **When this happens you just feel heartbroken and curse your cat for deciding to use it as it's scratch pad. If you don't have a cat you just get mad at your designated system not being to read the game.

**2. When you study and you still fail a test. **Too many times have I been the victim of this. I decided I just need to stop studying all together. And guess what? That's all it took for me to get my grades back up.

**3. Losing your memory card. **You rummage through every nook and cranny in your house. When you don't find it you begin to accuse members of your family or your boyfriend/girlfriend of taking it. Then when you do find it, you feel like an idiot for being angry at the wrong people. Even worse…It was inside your PS2 the entire time.

**4. Red Rings. **All you xbox players know exactly what I mean. Of course you can send it in to be fixed…before the warranty expires that is. The worst feeling comes from when the warranty _is _expired and you decide it's not even worth it.

**5. Power goes off while playing a game. **This especially sucks when you are playing Final Fantasy XIII and you are about to defeat the last boss when the power goes off. This makes you lose faith in the electric company or the person that may have crashed into the pole down your street.

**6. When game characters take over your real life. **Most people would probably pursue them for romantic reasons. Others would ask them what happened after they did this or that. Me? I would steer clear of the ones I know are especially dangerous and tend to bring calamity to wherever they are. Also try to find out their real reason for being here.

"Liam… Are you alright?" Quinn asks, peering into my room.

"Of course I'm not okay! Go away! Can't you see I'm having a mental breakdown!" I snap.

"Uh…sorry…" He scratches his head. He leaves the room without saying another word.

Wait. Wait. Isn't it weird how the game restarted after they came? What if…it's because my game is the reason they are here? Or what if…what if they are trying to rewrite the game? What if all of these occurrences…are to rewrite the game so they can stay here and exist?

I pick up the controller and press yes. Instead of the usual opening of the Devil May Cry series a weird contract thing appears on the screen.

"_Hello Liam Emmerich. We are pleased that you would get your PS2 back from your mother just to see that you are not losing your sanity. Note that entering your name in the box below automatically qualifies you for the game. Once you enter your name you cannot back out of the game. Details of the game will not be released unless you enter your name in the space below." _

I stare at the screen in horror. What the fuck is this? Stay Alive? What if I type my name in and that gives Dante and the others the right to kill me? Oh god. I can't do it. Fuck this.

But this is my only chance.

I enter my name in, but I start to have doubts. I don't want to do any of this. I'm giving up. I'm being a good ki-

"LIAMMMMM!" My sister Florence yells from down stairs, I drop the controller on the floor and run for the stairs.

"Yeah, what?" I ask peering over the railing of the stairs.

"I brought home Taco Bell, so come and eat," She says as she disappears into the dinning room.

Once in the kitchen, Florence and Quinn sit staring at the television. On it is some news about something I really don't care about.

"How's Florida been treating you, Florey?" I ask sitting beside Quinn.

"Oh, just the usual. Buying that Spider killing spray like every week… Why do all the spiders insist on coming into my dorm?" She bangs her hand against the table.

"Because they love you oh so much…" I snicker.

"Actually," Quinn says adjusting his glasses, "The spiders are most likely going into your dorm because it's warmer inside then out."

Florence and I stare at our younger brother unsure of what to say.

"So…anyway…" I look around the room, "How was seeing your old teachers?"

"Ah, the ones I wanted to see weren't there…" She sighs, "There was a sub there. You know the Delacours?"

I nearly spit out my taco. "Did you just say the Delacours?"

"Uh…yeah?" She raises an eyebrow to me.

"I know this is going to sound crazy, but they were replaced by some game characters. No one- except four eyes over there," I motion towards Quinn, who just smiles goofily, "and some bitch- believes me."

Florence stares at me blankly for a minute, "Uh…what?"

"It's true Florey!" Quinn says. His food falls from his mouth, but he doesn't seem to think anything of it. "My teacher Mr. Appleyard was replaced b-by…uh…I can't remember that one person's name…"

"Nero."

"Yeah!"

"Huuuh?" She leans away from us.

"I can even show you the proof!" I say as I remember the game. I get up and make a dash to my room, my siblings follow promptly behind me.

Before I even get a chance to enter the room, I hear a strange noise coming from my room. I run into my room only to see that it says on my television screen: _"Thank you for entering your name. Click X to proceed." _

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I scream, dropping to my knees and holding my hands towards the ceiling. When I dropped it…it must've…hit into the floor and entered my name! Oh god. This is not good.

"What's wrong?" Florence asks, sitting down beside me.

"That's what's wrong…" I point at the screen.

"I don't get it… All it says is…" She trails off.

I grab the controller and hit the X-button.

"_Thank you for hitting X. Took you long enough."_

What the hell? Is this game insulting me!

"_Now that you've accepted the contract, you have now given up the rights to your existence."_

"WHAT!" I scream.

"_The rules of the game are as follows: 1. You will be sent a message telling you a place to go at a certain time, if you are late for whatever reason, you will be erased."_

"This sounds like TWEWY!"

"_2. You must survive for the given time limit…or you will be erased."_

"Survive what exactly?"

"That doesn't sound too good at all…" Quinn quivers beside me.

"_3. Safe zone during the game period is your house and only your house."_

…Only…my house…? Oh my god…

"_4. Survive 10 rounds and you get to keep your existence along with the existence of those who have lost." _

…What?

* * *

**Next Chapter: **Bend the Bracket

_Edited: 3-3-2011_

**Bring Your Own Kites:** Fixed a few spelling errors.


	9. Bend the Bracket

**IX. Bend the Bracket**

* * *

_"There's no turning back tonight."  
__-Underoath_

* * *

"Did I read that correctly?" I say, pulling at my hair, "Please tell me that I did not read that last line correctly." I turn to face my siblings. Both of them wear worried expressions.

"Well… did you read "_Survive ten rounds and you get to keep your existence along with the existence of those who have lost"_? Did you?" She asks biting her lip nervously. "I have bad eyes, so I might be seeing things."

"Can I lie and say I didn't?" I frown.

"No."

"FUCK!"

"You read it correctly," She shakes her head in disappointment.

"I'm gonna die!" I scream grabbing a hold of Florence's shirt, "I'm gonna die all because I got a defective DMC3! Capcom's getting sued! Sued, you hear me!" Actually, I'm really going to die because of this fatal flaw many of us call curiosity. Or we can blame it on the fact that I entered my name then just tossed the controller to the side like my entire existence wasn't on the line.

Florence pats me awkwardly on the shoulder, "No game is perfect, Liam. There has to be a few glitches in this game. Someone must've won it before."

"Did you just ignore the last nine words of the last line!" I scream, pointing at the television.

"Well, Liam, it was nice knowing you," Quinn smirks.

"Don't say goodbye to me yet! I'm not dead yet!" I cry.

"Might as well be…" He sighs.

"You are such a downer!" I run my hands through my hair. I honestly don't stand a chance in hell against any of the characters. Maybe against Agnus… that's really about it. Yeah, that is it. Lady will make me her bitch even before the match starts that's a known fact.

Suddenly Florence stands up, her expression covered with question. It's almost as if she's contemplating something.

"That's it!" She looks down at Quinn and I, who in return gaze up at her, "The reason no one's ever won is because they all decided to play _fair_."

"Yeah, well it's not like they had much of a choice either. You can't just input cheats in real life. It's impossible and illogical. This isn't a game… well at least it wasn't until I signed that contract…" I say glaring at the television.

"Yeah," A devious smile slowly forms on her face, "But you can do it to the game."

"Huh?" I raise an eyebrow to her, "What are you implying?"

"Action Replay."

"Whaaaaaat?" I frown, "Isn't that breaking some kind of rule or something? Won't I instantly get booted from existence?"

"There were only four rules," Florence says, probably feeling quiet confident about herself, "None of them said you couldn't cheat your way out of or through the game."

"Yeah but-" I start to protest, but a strange jingle is heard from the television so I cut myself short. The three of us give it our undivided attention.

The screen, which was once white, slowly begins to turn black as what appears to be ink drops onto the screen. Once it's done, in white cryptic letters it reads, "Cheating through Action Replay is allowed. If it weren't you wouldn't stand a chance."

This fucking game, man...

"Yes!" Florence cheers, grabbing me by the hands and pulling me to my feet, "Now you won't die! Where's Action Replay?"

"Uh…" I raise an eyebrow to her, "Why would I have Action Replay? I do all of my games legitly. When have you ever seen me with Action Replay?"

"Soooo… You don't have Action Replay?" She lets go of my shirt and slowly begins to back away from me.

"Of course freaking not!" I snap, "Who do you think I am? A ten year old trying to get all of the Pokemon?"

"God dammit, Liam! If it's not one thing it's another! I knew I should of stayed here for college. Then you wouldn't be in this mess!" Florence cries, burying face in her hands.

"How the hell was I supposed to know that one day Action Replay would save me from a bunch of video game characters gone rogue!" I yell, "_Oh hey, mum, some time in the near future I may need to invest in Action Replay for the PS2 cause some video game characters are gonna try to kill me._"

"Shut up, Liam. You aren't helping the situation!" Florence snaps, arms crossed.

"Why the hell are you getting pissy with me? It's not like I intended for any of this to happen!" I shout.

"God, you should be so glad Jordan-" She starts to say, but Quinn and I cut her off.

"Dude, that guys a dick," We say in unison. Florence and I look at Quinn for a brief moment, then return to the matter at hand.

"That's not the point. The point is is that he has Action Replay and if you're going to survive this, you need that. So shut up or nut up!" Florence snaps, shoving me aside as she storms out the bedroom door.

Suddenly the Legend of Zelda's _Open Chest With Item _echoes the room. Florence stops dead in her tracks, while Quinn stares at me wide eyed. All of us then look down at my pocket.

"Well, I sure hope that's mum telling me not to go snooping around in her room for shit," I crack a nervous smile.

I pull my cell phone out of my pocket slowly. The screen is lit up indicating that I have a new text message from the number 000-000-0000. I guess this is the start of the end huh? I'm seriously gonna die if Florence doesn't get that Action Replay. Thank god, Jordan lives about two or three houses down or else I'd be royally screwed.

"Huh… I guess you should go get Action Replay, Florey…"

Florence runs out of the room leaving Quinn and I to read the message.

I flip the phone open and then hit "OK" to view the text message.

**Meeting Time: Fifteen minutes from this exact time.  
Location: Ronkonkoma Train Station East Parking Lot  
Round Win: Survive 7 minutes.  
Round Loss: Arrive Late or die before given time is up. **

"Well this is just peachy," I smile, grabbing my black hoddie reading "LIMBO" in white words across the front as I head for the door. "I sure do hope Florey makes it back in time…"

"Me too, but the longer you stand here the more time you're wasting getting to the train station…" Quinn says, following me all the way to my car. He looks down at me sadly once I'm in the car. "Uh…Uhm…" He taps on the door.

"Don't sweat it, Quinn," I smile. This might be the last time I ever get to see my brother but I do not want to see him all teary eyed. When Quinn cries, it's like the final day in LoZ and the moon is about to crash into the town.

"D-Don't die…" I hear him whisper so low, that if my engine were to have turned on before I wouldn't have heard him.

"Don't worry, I won't," I reach my hand out the window and pat him on the head. "And if I do, don't touch my shit."

Have you ever seen those shows where people are caught on camera driving like a lunatic? Yeah, well imagine a rusty orange colored Element doing 80 on a main road, cutting in and out of traffic, Almost crashing a few times, all while listening to Walkie Talkie Man by Steriogram.

If people are beeping, I can't hear it over the voice of the lead singer.

After what seems like forever, I finally arrive at the parking lot. Which is empty and that strikes me as unusual since it's normally packed during the weekdays. From the looks of it, I guess I got here first. There is a single street lamp lighting up the parking lot, well at least a tiny part of it. I park my car a little ways from the lamp, so just in case I need to run, I actually have a place to run to.

Boy, do I hope Florence makes it home before this shit starts.

I step cautiously towards the light. "Come out, come out, where ever you are, you existence stealing psychopaths!" I call into the air, once I'm under the light.

No one answers and my adrenaline starts to fade away and I start to lose interest in the whole situation all together. But never fear, I always have a way to pass the time.

**List No.9: Things I'm Going To Do **_**IF**_** I Survive This**

**1. Snap all of my video games in half. **Yeah, I know it's a little drastic, but so is this. Just in case the Devil May Cry Crew decides to get revenge on me, they certainly won't be able to do it through a video game. God forbid they try to get the RE characters to kill me… Huh… I might as well snap my movies in half too.

**2. Go out and celebrate. **I don't mean a little small celebration with my family either. I will invite everyone in my school to a local bar/pub and we will party and get drunk like it's our last day on earth. Then in the morning when I wake up naked in my car, I'll vow never to do that again. Ever.

**3. Write Capcom a hate message. **I mean a full-blown hate message. Something like this:

_Dear Capcom, _

_Learn to keep a fucking leash on your characters. They're going around stealing people's existence. If you're in the process of making DMC 5, stop. They'll come back. And they'll come for me. And if they come for me, I'm coming for you. I'll hop on the next airplane to Japan, believe me. _

_Sincerely,  
Liam Emmerich (Insert smiley emoticon here)_

_P.S. If you are making DMC 5, make Dante wear a pink dress. _

**4. Apologize to my friends for seeming like a psychotic asshole. **Hopefully I won't have to, though. Maybe when all of this is over, they'll forget about those little incidents…

**5. Post a fan fiction of this on that Fanfiction site. **I'm sure I'll get a few kicks and giggles from people- all of them laughing at my utter misfortune, not knowing that it actually has happened. In the reviews they'll be like "That kid Liam is douche bag, but he's so _funny_!" Well, eff you, in advance.

**6. Burn my game consoles. **_Better safe than sorry. Better safe than sorry. _

Suddenly I feel myself being lifted into the air. I start flailing around desperately trying to get a hit on whoever it may be.

"I apologize for having to do this," A familiar voice says shortly before I'm thrown on the hard ground.

I roll for a few seconds before I finally come to a stop. I feel the gravel sticking to my shirt. I lie on the ground for maybe a minute or so. I hold my head as I get to my feet, since it feels like my head is spinning.

"What…a…lovely way to…say…hello…" I groan, looking over at my attacker.

Now, this guy didn't get much camera time in Devil May Cry 4, but I have to admit I was really sad after he was killed by that bitch Sanctus. Should've stayed dead though. If you guessed, Credo, then bingo! You are correct.

"But in order for us to survive here, we need one of your existences," Credo says, stepping towards me, "It'll be quick and painless. Not many people have ever gotten passed the first round. Actually, only two have- a set of twins. Thanks to them, Dante and Vergil are here."

"The Delacours, huh?" I smirk.

"Yes. Those two had real fighting spirit unlike our other contestants," Credo replies.

"Yeah, I bet…" I laugh. I might want to add to that letter to Capcom: _You almost got their personalities right. You missed one crucial trait though, DOUCHE BAG. _

"Enough talk. Let's get this over with," Credo holds his golden sword towards me. He plants his feet in the ground, most likely getting ready for a lunge attack.

I gulp and slowly start to back away.

"Can't we just talk about this, buddy? I thought you were a pretty decent guy. Chivalrous, too," My voice shakes.

I'm so fucking screwed.

"Humph."

And then he lunges at me at break neck speed. My body, paralyzed with fear, refuses to do anything but stand, so I close my eyes and wait for the impact.

Suddenly I feel a strange warmth travel through my body. A loud clash is heard and I open my eyes, expecting to see Credo's sword in my stomach. However, in my hands is a silver short sword wrapped in some kind of yellow flame.

"…What the fuck?" I gasp, as Credo's sword, collides with mine once more.

"How did you…?" Credo's eyes widen as he stares at the sword.

"Holy fuck! She did it!" I scream, jumping around, "She fucking did it!"

"Whatever trickery this is, it's not going to work on me!" Credo yells as he charges at me once more.

Now that I've got this cool looking sword, I'm not that afraid anymore. Okay, I'm still afraid a lot, just… not as much as before.

"ACTION REPLAY!" I yell as I charge at him also.

Just as I'm about to parry his sword to the side a white light shines on Credo and then he's gone. Just like that. "THAT'S RIGHT! FEAR ACTION REPLAY! FEAR ITTTT!" I scream holding the sword to the sky.

My phone jingles and I pull it out of my pocket. The text message is from the number from before. I flip the phone open, hoping that it's not the next round. To my surprise it isn't. But it reads:

**CONGRATULATIONS. YOU'VE PASSED ROUND ONE. YOU WILL RECEIVE A TEXT TOMORROW FOR THE NEXT ROUND. I DIDN'T THINK YOU HAD IT IN YOU. **

Son of a bitch. You think the sender of this message and the person that fucked around with my DMC disk are the same person? If they are just a computer, I'm gonna learn how to make a virus and infect that piece of crap. If it's a person? I'll just kick the crap out of them.

I decide to call Florence and Quinn to tell them that their brother has not kicked the bucket just yet.

"_LIAM! Oh my god! I was so lucky! I mean I almost didn't make it in time! The three of us saw it on the television! That was the quickest seven minutes ever!" _Florence says, probably not even stopping to breathe. _"I swear! I thought he was going to cut you half! I was under so much pressure. Jordan wouldn't stop yelling at me and Quinn wouldn't stop crying." _

"_Was not!" _Quinn cries in the background. "_I knew he was going to win!"_

"_That ain't what you said two minutes ago, kid," _Jordan says.

"_Anyway, anything hurt?" _Florence asks.

"Glad you should ask. I am mentally wounded and probably will be for the rest of my life."

* * *

**Next Chapter: **She's Still Out to Get Me

_Edited: 3-3-2011_

**Bring Your Own Kites: **Fixed a few spelling errors.


	10. She's Still Out to Get Me

**X. She's still Out to Get Me**

* * *

_"What if I say I'm not like the others?  
What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays?  
You're the pretender.  
What if I say that I will never surrender?"  
-Foo Fighters_

* * *

By the time I arrive home, it's nearly ten o'clock. Along the way home, I had decided to treat myself to Chinese food at the Crystal Buffet for a job well done. I must've gone through at least six plates before I was told to leave.

I push open the front door and head straight into the kitchen. There I see Florence, Jordan, and Quinn sitting at the kitchen table eating chips and dip.

Jordan is this scuzzy looking guy that lives at least two houses down, give or take. He's got this five o'clock shadow going on and his brown hair is often all over the place despite being short. His eyes are a light blue, which people often tell him are beautiful. As for personality, he's like me, but he more accurately fit's the description of "being a dick". He's the same age as my sister, but they went to two different schools. He was shipped off to some private school overseas. His parents are some important environmentalists who travel around a lot so they often aren't home.

"Liam!" Florence and Quinn cry, getting up from the table. They pull me into a rather tight hug. After a few seconds, it starts to get awkward. "G-Guys… Hey, can you let go? Jordan's gonna spread strange rumors around."

"Hey, I may be a…" He thinks for a few seconds for the proper word to accurately describe him.

"Dick?" Quinn and I say in unison. Florence glares at Quinn.

"Yeah, that's the word," He laughs, "But no one will believe me anyway. Especially after I tell them you're being hunted down by some loose wired Ais."

"Thanks for the moral support, Watson," I sigh, knowing all to well the result of that.

"Yeah, you can count on me for that," He grins, "You'll be hearing a lot more of it since I'll be helping from now on. This, my delusional little fellow, is the start of something beautiful."

I stare at him, wide eyed. "Hell freaking no you aren't!"

"Don't worry kiddo!" He starts to chuckle, "It's already been decided."

I glare at my siblings, "And when were you going to tell me this?"

"Uh…" They look at the ground nervously, "We weren't."

"You _weren't_! What the hell? Why not?" I snap.

"Uhm…mostly because of this…" Quinn sighs.

"Ah yeah… I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have told me either. But c'mon! Why him? He's completely unreliable, sleeps a good three-fourths of the day, and he's the epic douche bag," I complain.

"Huh… sounds like someone we know…" Florence says rubbing her chin.

"Well, let's put it this way. Would you rather have your brother and sister working action replay, who mind you, haven't got a single idea on how to use it? Or me, and advance gamer who knows almost every bit of Action Replay? I'm a game designer for Christ's sake," He asks.

He's got a good point there. Knowing Florence and Quinn, they'll accidentally make the enemy a thousand times harder and we cannot have that.

"Touché," I nod my head.

Now I just have to hold my temper so he won't get pissed off and be a spiteful asshole by giving me, say, a water gun.

"So don't you need to give the team a name or something?" He asks, "I mean it would be nice. Like how Sega has Team Sonic, Supernatural has Team Free Will, and Persona has S.E.E.S."

"A team name?" I raise an eyebrow. "We don't need a team name. I mean who makes a team with their siblings and the epic douche bag?"

"Your words wound me," He rolls his eyes.

"Why does he get to choose the name anyway?" Florence complains.

"Because I'm doing all the god damn work, that's why. You're not the one out there duking it out with rogue game characters," I snap.

"Well, I'm not the one who entered my name into the game like an idiot," Florence says, crossing her arms.

"Yeah, well, no one told you to bring home the greatest food on this earth," I snap.

"Oh my god. You're always trying to blame someone else for your own mistakes," She yells, "It's never "_Oh, it's my fault. I accept full responsibility._" Jesus."

"Well, it usually _is _other people's fault," I shrug, "And you don't exactly have a peachy keen record to preaching either, Ginger." Florence is a red head and she gets absolutely annoyed when someone calls her Ginger.

Quinn gets up from the table while Florence and I are still shouting at one another. He reaches on top of the refrigerator, with much difficultly, and brings a bag of chips back to the table. He begins stuffing them in his mouth as he looks back and forth between Florence and I.

"Hey, kid, gimme some," Jordan says, leaning over the table. Quinn pours a handful into a plastic bowl and then slides it over to him. "Thanks…"

"Are you even listening to me, Liam!" Florence continues to bitch.

"No," I reply flatly.

"God you are such a… man!" She throws her hand up in aggravation.

"Well, I'd like to think I am…"

"Jesus Christ, Liam. Just don't open your mouth again for the rest of the night," She snaps, knowing full well I'm going to say something smart back- which I am.

"Boy am I thankful I'm an only child," Jordan says, munching down on some chips.

"Trust me, you aren't missing anything spectacular," Florence snaps as she stomps out of the room.

"HEY! WAIT!" I yell, "I'm not done with you yet!" I start to run after her, but Jordan pulls my shirt and throws me into a chair. "Ow! What the hell?"

"Actually, I think I'm grateful that you guys aren't my siblings. I think I would've done away with you guys long ago," He smiles, "Except for Quintus here. He's just so innocent." He ruffles up Quinn's hair.

"Don't call me Quintus!" He cries, pulling away from Jordan. He dashes out the kitchen, chips in hand.

"Leave the chips, kiddo!" He yells after him. Quinn's bedroom door is slammed shut.

"Well, uh, that was funny," I laugh, unsure of what else to say.

"Humph. Now I'm gonna go to the grocery and buy some chips. Tell Ginger and Quintus I said bye," He says getting up from the table, "Just had to take the chips with him, didn't he?"

Once Jordan is long gone, I close the door then lock it. I turn the lights off in the kitchen and then head up to my bathroom. The light is already on. There's an unfamiliar used paper cup crumpled up on the floor. The PS2 controller is disconnected from the console. The screen blinks "Congratulations!" I sigh deeply before hitting the power button on the television.

I then plop down on my bed thinking how lucky I am to be alive, how little of a chance I stand against them. I wish, more than anything, that I weren't so damn curious about everything. But I got myself into this mess and I will at least try to get myself out.

I lay my head on my rather uncomfortable pillows and slowly drift into a peaceful sleep.

However, there is nothing peaceful about how I awake the next morning. It's far from peaceful.

"FALCON PUNCH!" My television booms.

I get up slowly, with the intention of cussing whoever is in my room out. I allow my eyes a few seconds to adjust to the light. "Hey, asshole, its 11 o'clock in the morning. I'm-" I stop as soon as realize that there is no one in the room with me and the television is off. "What the hell…?" I yawn.

"Liam. Liam. Liam." The television flickers on to some static channel. If I was half-asleep before, I'm awake now. I scramble into the corner of my bed.

"A-Am I… dreaming? Is this The Poltergeist?" I ask, pinching myself on my arm to make sure I am awake.

"No. No," The television says in an eerily familiar voice, "You're very much awake."

"Then why the hell is my television talking to me?" I ask. I throw my blankets to the end of the bed.

"Oh, it's only temporary," The person chuckles, "I just wanted to say congratulations on your first win. You're lucky Credo spends more time talking about right and wrong then fighting, eh? But trust me; next time will not be so easy. We will not make the same mistake twice."

The reason the voice sounds so familiar is because it belongs to none other than the Devil Hunter himself, Dante. My body shivers just at the thought of him communicating through my TV. I wonder if he can see me?

"Uh…is that so?" I say, grabbing my blanket and covering my body up. Suddenly I feel rather violated now that I've possibly been seen in Chao boxers by the devil hunter.

"Yeah," His voice suddenly drops to a very low whisper, "But you won't survive past today's round. I'll make sure of it." The television turns off leaving me to stare at the screen, dumfounded and scared out of my mind.

"This…This could be a serious problem…" I smirk.

* * *

I walk into the gates of Rainer Park. It's empty, which is definitely strange since most of those "skater" kids hang out here after school. I try my best to keep my guard up, since I don't want a repeat of being thrown twenty feet. My back still hurts from that. At least Credo hadn't decided to take advantage of my carelessness and stab me right then and there.

"Come on out!" I yell, "I know you're around here somewhere!" The yellow-flamed sword from yesterday appears in my hands. At least I know that Jordan made it to the house okay.

"Ah…Uhm… I'm right behind you…" A familiar voice shakes.

I quickly turn around and I'm stunned by who I see. "Kyrie?" They sent _Kyrie _to kick my ass? This has got to be some kind of practical joke. What happened to Dante's "Oh, I'll make sure you don't make it to round three" speech this morning? Was he just kidding? Was he trying to get me all psyched up? But c'mon. Kyrie? Seriously? Do they really have that little faith in me to put Kyrie second?

"O-oh. You know my name…" She avoids all eye contact with me.

"Uh…yeah…but…uh, why are you here?" I ask.

"I'm your next opponent," She smirks, "B-But I'm not like them… I can't kill anyone…"

"Then why did they make you come?" I ask, trying to find out as much as I can about them.

"They made me… Nero was against it… But they said that you won't attack me…" She sighs, "But I can't bring myself to harm you…"

"Well, uh, if you did, y'know bring yourself to do that, I'd be very, very appalled," I laugh nervously. Hah, imagine that. Kyrie trying to kill someone. That's like the scariest thing possibly imaginable, well… besides Velocoraptors

"I think anyone would…" She giggles.

"So, hey, why _are_ they doing this?" I ask, once my sword disappears.

"They want to live in this world. They're sick of being considered data…and characters…" She replies, standing by my side and looking off into the distance, "I too, am sick of it…" Suddenly, she grabs me from behind and puts a scalpel to my throat. "Hah. You men are too easy to deceive. You believe everything about someone just because a game tells you too. This is the price for believing too easily."

"KYRIE! OH MY GOD! DON'T DO IT!" I scream. I will never think of her the same way again.

"Oh, no. I'm not gonna give up my chance to be here," She cackles, "You have to die, and then we will be complete. We will have our last, our lord, Sparda, come to this world. We will achieve this goal. It doesn't matter who it is that needs to be sacrificed."

"K-Kyrie! Think about what you're doing! I want to live ju-" Before I finish my sentence, however, she swiftly cuts across my throat. Blood starts to push through the new cavity and it splatters all over the floor. I fall to the ground, holding on for dear life. But everything begins to fade to black and…

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I scream, sitting up in my bed. I hold my neck and thankfully there are no stitches or a hole there.

* * *

What the fuck was that! Did I really just dream about Kyrie trying to kill me! Oh my god. Oh my freaking god.

My entire body shakes uncontrollably. Thank god that was just a dream. I mean, being killed by Kyrie is worse than being killed by Agnus. I better keep this to myself. I don't want Jordan going around saying that I'm afraid of some girl character. God damn. We seriously do not want that.

I try to go to back to sleep, but I can't. Every time I close my eyes, I see myself dying in various different graphic ways by a good majority of the DMC characters. However, nothing freaks me out as much as when Kyrie had killed me.

So I begin to wander around the house in search of something to do. I know for sure that I will not play any game any fear that, they too, may come to life and want me for dead. There are a few games if any that I'd have to make a mental note to stay away from. Speaking of which, here we go!

**List No.10: Games I Wouldn't Want To Be Real. **

**1. Bayonetta. **Let's be honest here, despite the fact that Bayonetta herself isn't too bad looking, I don't think having her actually up and about in the real world is a good thing. I mean ANGELS are after her. And not the cute little ones you see depicted in the 16th Chapel or whatever. I mean these things are the size of the empire state building, even bigger. And Rodin, don't even get me started on Rodin. He is just pure ownage all around. So y'know in case it did become real, I might have Bayonetta, Jeanne, Rodin, and bunch of angels trying to kill me. No thank you. I think I'll take my chance with Dante and the others.

**2. Pokemon. **Yup, that's right. I said it. Pokemon. All of this fan art I've been seeing of zombified Pokemon is starting to make me feel like they wouldn't be as cute and cuddly as the games and television make them appear. I mean, you would constantly be living in fear of everything. _In other news, the whirlpool guardian demolished the entire country of Japan. Also, there are reports of numerous volcanic eruptions occurring in Hawaii as a result of Entei roaring. _I mean, does that sound like fun to you at all?

**3. Silent Hill. **I think this one is self-explanatory. If you have ever played Silent Hill for at least a good twenty to thirty minutes you have a slight idea as to why. If you haven't then never fear- actually do fear, there are lots of things to fear in the world of Silent Hill. Throughout the entire series there have only been two enemies that I've feared more than anything- more than being buried alive. Those two enemies are the Boogeyman (A.K.A. Pyramid Head) and Robbie… Well technically Robbie isn't an enemy, but he might as well be. He's been in, I think, at least three Silent Hills. But yes, Robbie. The smiling bloody pink bunny wearing ripped overalls. That thing just irks me in all the wrong ways. Anyway back to why it would suck if it were real. First of all, the enemies look like something a child made with dismembered body parts during arts and crafts. You can't even take a nice stroll around the town without being assaulted by a child's imagination. Also there is just endless amounts of fog so you'll never know when something is coming your way unless you have a portable radio. But seriously in 2010 who carries around radios? The town's people are either depressed or nuts. You most likely won't get a straight answer out of anyone.

**4. Final Fantasy. **There could be some pros to having Final Fantasy saga become real, but the cons definitely outweigh the pros. I mean you have villains like Kefka, Cloud of Darkness, and Ultimecia roaming the world doing whatever the hell they want and no one can stop them. That is, except for the hero. If you are not the hero and you try to take on the villain… well you might as well begin praying to Shiva that you end up in the good section of the Lifestream. I mean, look at what happened to Aerith. Not only that, the bosses make you want to pull your hair out if you don't die at least once during a boss battle, than you are one lucky kid. That boss in FFXIII…y'know the one with about five different faces. Just when you think you're home free it uses a single move and blasts you to the Lifestream. So once again, I'd rather take my chances with the DMC crew.

**5. Plants vs. Zombies. **I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to put my life on the line hoping that a bunch of plants will protect me from zombies. Zombies that eat both plants and people, at that. Plus, it's just stupid. God forbid you don't get enough sun or if you accidentally choose the wrong seed to plant. Seriously if you choose one wrong plant…well it's just a matter of time before those zombies breakthrough your plant brigade and you lose more than just your sunflowers.

**6. Fallout. **Who would want to live in a world where you can't walk around without risk of being a victim of radiation sickness? You can't even swim in water without risk of it. Since you can't even swim, you can't take a shower or drink water. Well, you can… but it's not recommended if you don't want another arm growing out of your stomach. Although they do have purified water. Plus the wildlife isn't all that friendly. Not only that, almost every human/robot is out to get you. Bottle caps are the money currency. Nuka-Cola Quantums are the most sacred thing in the world. But yeah. I definitely would not want to live in that wasteland no matter how bad ass the games are.

The front door clicks open while I'm watching some lady on _Cheaters _scream a bunch of nonsense at her unfaithful boyfriend. I don't know why, but these shows are just too funny. People should take examples from this show. I mean, there are a lot of things you can learn from that show. You can never predict what your partner will do but at least you'll have a heads up for what to expect.

"Hey, Liam!" Florence chirps as she pokes her head into the living room. Quinn, like always, heads straight to the refrigerator. "Assuming from the fact you're still lazing around, the message hasn't come yet."

"Yeah," I smirk, looking up from the television the television just as the woman socks her boyfriend in the face, "But I did have the most nerve wracking wake up call from my television." Wait… What if… "What if he's listening to us right now! What if he's been listening to me the entire afternoon! Not that I talk to myself aloud or anything… What if he can see us through the television!" I scream. I stare the television in horror. "NO ONE IS SAFE!"

"Oh calm down Liam," Florence sighs, tossing a brown paper bag into my lap.

"Calm down! Calm freaking down? How can I possibly be calm at a time like this! Just think about it, Florey! He could watch you after you get out the shower! Doesn't that make you worry?" I ask.

"Uh… you need to take a chill pill or at least eat that pumpkin muffin. Now for some words of wisdom, courteousy of Florence Emmerich," She puts her hand on my shoulder and closes her eyes. "We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot."

"You clearly stole that from Eleanor Roosevelt…and what the fuck does that even mean?" I ask.

"It means nut up or shut up," She says, tossing one of the couch pillows at my face. I catch it with ease and throw it the side. "C'mon Liam, you gotta loosen up a little. If you let this rule your life you're never going to win. Fear is just an emotion. Fear makes people stronger. You shouldn't be whining every moment you get. You should be out living each moment like it's your last…or something like that…"

"I feel like I'm a death row inmate about to get executed," I chuckle, opening the bag. Inside is the brown with a tint of orange muffin. God, I know I always go off on random tangents, but I can't help it. Pumpkin muffins are delicious. I mean they are the greatest thing next to tacos. Nothing is better than tacos. Pumpkin muffins smell so good. As soon as you walk into a room where they are your senses are assaulted by that sweet smelling aroma. You just ha-

"_He's a jukebox hero! He's got stars in his eyes!" _My phone jingles.

"God dammit!" I yell tossing the bag to the side. "That better be mum telling me she's gonna be late or Bryce sending me another angry text! I just can't get a single god damn happy moment can I? This is such crap!" I reach into my left pocket.

Sure enough, the number 000-0000 has sent me a text message.

"I guess I'll go call Jordan," Florence, who was leaning over the couch to get a better look at my phone, sighs as she disappears behind the kitchen walls.

**Meeting Time: **Twenty Minutes from this exact time**  
Location: **Port Jeff Station, North Dock**  
Round Win: **Survive 15 minutes**  
Round Loss: **Arrive late or die before given time is up

"Port Jeff Station! Twenty freaking minutes! What cheap asses!" I scream, pulling at my hair, "I'm not gonna make it in time!"

"Then how about instead of standing around you actually get a move on it?" Quinn suggests, sitting on the couch with a peanut butter sandwich and a cup of milk in hand. He grabs the remote and changes the channel to some CSI show.

"Sometimes I think you have split personality," I frown running for the stairs to retrieve my stuff.

"No, I'm just hungry…" He laughs, taking a bite out of his sandwich.

I quickly put on my best running sneakers and the sweat shirt I'd worn during last night's scuffle.

As I run out the front door, Jordan is walking up onto the porch. He smiles and continues into the house without saying a single word. I just keep heading for my car.

Thankfully there is not much traffic on Wednesday on the small but heavily populated island of…well… Long Island. The ticker on my phone beeps with each passing second like a time bomb. I almost miss a turn and get into an accident, but thankfully the person behind me has quick reflexes because he slams on his breaks…along with the car horn. I park the car a little ways from the North Dock behind The Gap. I put a few quarters into the parking meter. With only two minutes to spare I make a mad dash for the dock. I run along the wooden poles separating the beach from the parking lot. Running in sand is like trying to run in water.

I hop over the barrier. My heart beats are loud- well at least they are to me. Dante's words fill my mind and I'll admit I'm afraid, scared out of my mind. Even if I do have Action Reply on my side, there's a limit to what it can do. I just don't know how far yet. But I hope by the time we figure it out I won't be at the mercy of one of the white haired men. I don't even know how the thing works. Plus, it's not like I can change weapon in the middle of battle. I have to rely on some 21 year old to make the right decision. Plus it's gotta be someone big and important if Dante said that I wouldn't make it passed today's round. Then again, now that I think about, they also thought I wouldn't make it passed yesterday's round.

Just as the timer hits ten seconds, I make it onto the dock. The timer stops.

"J-Jesus…Christ…" I moan, trying to catch my breath. "I need to start getting back into free running or something…" I put my hands on my knees and lean forward a bit. I take a deep breath.

"Well, well," A voice booms out from behind me. I almost trip over my foot and fall into the water, but luckily whoever it is catches me by the hood and pulls me back onto the platform. They shove me a bit further onto the dock. I quickly turn around and that's when I see her. Lady…also known as Mary. She struts down the dock towards me and I start backing up. I guess I'm pretty lucky it wasn't one of the white haired trio, but she definitely ranks up there. Especially since she uses a bazooka and two M11s. But today it looks like she has a Gatling gun instead of her usual weapons. At least he didn't send Kyrie. If he did, I would probably start blubbering like a baby. "I'm surprised you made it here on time."

I can do what I did yesterday. Talk to them for a good minute or so, just to buy me some time. Seriously, where the hell is my bad ass cheat code weapon? Did Jordan and the others step out for fresh air? God, of all times, why now? "Yeah, me too. It kinda seems like you guys are trying to prevent me from making it on time." I shrug, shaking my head in disappointment. "That's kinda playing dirty, don't you think?"

Lady smiles, "Liam, you're not going to sweet talk your way out of this. This time you will fight and you will lose," She clenches her fist, "I will not be made a fool of again."

"Once again, eh?" I stroke my chin, "Don't tell me the Delacours humiliated you?"

She doesn't say anything, but judging by her intense glares I'm gonna take a guess she's saying "I'm gonna tear you apart."

"So they did!" I snicker. I know this is just egging her on, but I still don't have my weapon. Plus the more information I get, the easier all of this will be to piece this together. "Oh man! What did they do?"

Lady starts to turn different shades of red.

"…That bad…huh?" I look away.

"Be quiet!" She snaps suddenly, pulling the Gatling Gun over her shoulder. "All of this will be over when you're gone! This won't take long!" She puts her finger on the trigger and the next thing I know I'm jumping off the dock and plunging into the Long Island Sound. The cold water sends chills through my entire body. Being the middle of February this was probably a bad idea within itself, but hey, it got me out of harm's way. At least when I go into to coma I'll be a little safe. Though I'm pretty sure if I were still up there I'd look like an abused scarecrow.

I swim underneath the dock and surface for some air. I hear Lady screaming a bunch of threats into the air.

"I'm going to find you, Emmerich!" She stomps on the deck. Some of the little pebbles mixed with sand hit me in the head. "I will put all these bullets in your body. You'll be unrecognizable by the time I'm done with you!"

"Jesus Christ, Lady. I think you really need to go for some real life counseling. I mean are game counselors reliable? I'm seriously worried about your well being… Fuck…" I cover my mouth. Sometimes I really need to learn to shut the hell up.

The machine gun barrel whistles and the water in front of me splashes up as the bullets penetrate through the wood and hit against the water. I dive under the water once more and swim away from the dock.

By the time I reach the next dock, my body is telling me I need to get out the water and fast or I'm gonna catch something worse than coma. I grip onto the west deck and pull myself up. I start to pull my sweatshirt off since its only useless weight. But suddenly I find myself being flung a few feet in the air. My back slams into the sandy banks, causing all the air to escape my lungs. I reach into the air for god knows what.

"Hmph! You really thought you were going to get away, didn't you?" Lady bellows as she steps off the dock. "Well this is just shameful. I can't believe Credo lost to you."

I pull myself to my feet. "You…you are a real bitch…" I cough.

And suddenly as if perfectly timed, my hands begin to heat up. A purple mist wraps around my hand and when I blink I'm holding to pistols. Both are yellow and black. Etched in the side of each gun is Apollo and Artemis. "Hoh, shit."

"H-How?" Lady asks, "You're just… You can't-"

I shoot by her foot. "How about we both just back off and we pretend none of this ever happened? I mean, you can continue to live until I win. Yes, I said win. I can't lose. I kinda like my life."

"I'll kill you in two minutes," She snaps. Just as she's about to pull the trigger, I lift the guns into the air and shoot for her hand. But, since I've never used a gun before, I epicly miss. She lets loose a series of bullets. I dive behind a sand dune and begin to crawl along the bank. Sand flies all around me.

"Holy fuck," I murmur. I lift one of the pistols above the sand dune and randomly shoot. I hear her let out a high pitched girlish scream. I peek over the dune and to my surprise she's crouched on the floor holding her right shoulder. Blood stains her once flawless white blouse. Her hands are also covered in blood.

And that just proves everything. They aren't just pixels here. They're human, just like us. They can bleed. They can feel pain. If this is the case, then I might have just significantly increased my survival chances.

"You bastard…" She grits her teeth. I stay perched behind the sand dune. "I…I will be back…"

With those final words a bright white light shines through her mouth and eyes. What was once her skin slowly starts to fade away until there is nothing left of my former opponent.

"Phew…" I wipe my forehead, "That was… heart racing…"

My phone starts to jingle and I pull it out. It reads almost the same exact message I got after yesterday's fight, except for a few words added and a few taken out.

**CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR SECOND WIN! ROUND THREE WILL COMMENCE TOMORROW. **

"Take that Dante!" I scream up at the sky. "How do you feel that I beat your woman! Actually… I'm sorry… I really don't know if she's your woman… Sorry about that… But WOOOOOOH!" I start running around, fist pumping as I do so. For some reason I also start singing "Eye of the Tiger". I guess it matches my mood perfectly.

After a while my adrenaline rush slowly starts to fade away. I stop in the middle of running and start to walk to my car. Only then do I realize just how cold I am. My soaking wet clothes are definitely not helping. I throw my sand covered sweatshirt over my shoulder and continue on my way.

* * *

**Next Chapter: **Contestant No.94

_Edited: 3-3-2011_

**Bring Your Own Kites: **Fixed a few spelling/grammatical errors. So far this is the longest chapter.


	11. Contestant No94

**XI. Contestant No. 94**

* * *

_"Face it  
This is what we're up, up against?  
You're waiting  
And every minute is a minute away."  
__-Taking Back Sunday_

* * *

You know what I can go for right about now? Some tacos. Not just any tacos either. Taco Bell tacos. Seriously. I think I at least deserve some tacos for a job well done. C'mon, Lady, back there, could've emptied her entire clip on my face but through sheer luck I have managed to escape with nothing more than a few cuts and bruises. Not to be a cry baby or anything, but these bruises do hurt a lot. But let's think about it this way: Bruises or Death?

I park my car in front of the doorway of the best place on Earth (A.K.A. Taco Bell) and head inside. I don't care if I'm still sopping wet from my unexpected swim in the Long Island Sound, I'm gonna get a damn taco. But even before I have the chance to decide what to get, a man with white hair catches my eye. The youngest of the white haired trio is sitting by the window in the corner munching down on a freaking chalupa. Yes, I said it, a chalupa.

And even though I'm witnessing this, it just all seems…surreal. I can't imagine any of them eating anything, well accept for Dante. He's the pizza guy, everyone knows that. As for Nero, I'd at least make him out to be one of those drive thru kind of guys. He almost looks normal, I'll give him that. He would be normal on the account of the fact he doesn't really exist.

I realize I look like a complete freak staring at him from the entrance. So I avert my eyes elsewhere trying to figure out what my next move should be. Do I go to him and try to have as friendly of a conversation as you can possibly have with someone who is eventually going to try to kill you? Do I continue what I was doing and pretend not to notice him? Or do I turn around, get back in my car and dismiss the idea of ever wanting a taco?

Fuck that. I want my freakin' taco, killer or not. Besides, they can't hurt me outside of the game or whatever, right? I don't think it could hurt to talk to him. Well, I did piss him off a few days ago. Maybe he forgot? This could be a good chance to gain more insight on why they are physically here.

First, however, I head over to the register to place my order and almost immediately the cashier, a girl, starts to give me an attitude. I don't know why people insist on giving me attitude. It's a losing argument.

"What do you mean you don't have anymore cinnamon twists," I snap, clearly not impressed with this girl's lack of effort to go and make sure. "I can't have tacos with cinnamon twist. It's like having peanut butter without jelly. Or Oreo cookies without milk. Or Zelda without Link! Or Mario without Princess Peach! It just doesn't work."

"Look Liam," She says putting her hands on her hips, "You're just gonna have to live without them. You're, like, the only person who orders them anyway."

Oh…right. I know who she is. Remember Bryce's (A.K.A. Cloud) girlfriend who I publicly humiliated in front of a majority of our school? Yeah, well, she is Nora's best friend. Her name is Kelly or something. All I know is that they've been friends since kindergarten.

"So then where the hell are mine, if y'know that I'm the only person who orders them, huh?" I protest.

Her eyes narrow, "The dude with the white hair over there brought them," She points over at Nero who is just casually chomping down on his food. "So, just order something else or get out of my damn line."

"I don't want anything else! I paid for those damn cinnamon twists so give me back my money," I snap, holding my hand out to her.

"Molly," One of the other people that works there says as she angrily presses the button on the cash register, "If you keep getting into it with the customers you're going to get fired."

"Yeah, Molly," I say, mockingly. She glares at me then turns her attention back to her co-worker. "Yeah, Molly." I say once more.

"Shut up!" She yells, "You are, like the worst customer to come by!" She leans over the counter and tries to hit me.

"Damn freaking straight I am," I say crossing my arms as I step out of harm's way. "How about instead of trying to assault me, you go and make some?"

"How about instead of bitching and complaining you come over here and say it to my face!" She yells. The other guy is forced to hold her back as she attempts to hop over the counter and put an end to me.

"Molly, go cool off in the break room," The guy whose nametag reads "Jeff" says, ushering her in the direction of the room. She doesn't pass up on an offer to give me the middle finger as she looks over her shoulder one last time. Soon she stomps out of sight and I'm left with Jeff.

"Sorry about that," He says, "I'll go get your order."

When he comes back everything I ordered is on the tray, including the cinnamon twist. That bitch was holding out on me. I bet she's texting Payton right now too.

_OMG. LIAM IS SUCH A D0UCHE BAG. I CANT BELIEVE I USED T0 LYKE HIM. N0W I JUTS WANT TO END HIM!_

And yes, all those spelling errors included.

Yeah, Molly, bet you didn't know that I knew you liked me! That's why I spilled that green paint all over you during Art. I claimed it was an "accident" but it really wasn't.

"Thanks man," I grin, feeling like I am the happiest person on this Earth, despite almost being killed two times in two days in a row. I turn around and remember that Nero is still in the restaurant. He still seems to be unaware that I'm in the store with him because he continues to read his newspaper, that I didn't notice till just now, and he's sipping on his drink like he hasn't got a care in the world.

Should I? Is this a good idea? Strategy wise yes. Other than that, hell no it's not a good idea.

I head over to the table anyways. If he does attack me at least I have some witnesses.

"Hey Mr. White," I say taking a seat across from at his table.

"You again?" He smirks, not even bothering to look up from his apparently-too-delicious-to-pay-attention-to-anything-else-chalupa. He takes a bite out of it then, reaches over for his drink. He pauses before he touches it and looks over at me. "You're still here?"

"Heck yeah, I am," I smile waving my taco at him.

"Surprised you aren't dead," Nero shrugs, going back to what he was doing before I arrived. It's actually really quite disgusting to watch him eat. He has no table manners…

"If anyone should be surprise it should be me," I laugh weakly.

"Well, if we didn't have rules, then I would impale my sword through your skull right here and now." _Well, that's reassuring. _"But the rules say we can't or we're disqualified and you're given another chance at life and we can't harm you any longer." Nero says. He takes another bite of his food. "These things are like heaven on earth."

"So… basically if I piss one of you off before game time and you kill me, by accident or not, you guys automatically lose and I come back to life as if none of this ever happened?" I ask.

"Yep," He nods, "We have our own set of rules. If we break a single one of them we lose everything we've worked so hard to achieve. So don't even think about trying to get one of us to kill you. We know how to hold our tempers since we've been at this for a while."

"Uh… How long is a while?" I ask.

"Two years," He says, "For every ten people that lose to us, one of us gets to come back. Dante and Vergil were able to come to this side simultaneously because twins count as 29 people since they are not only rare, it's tough to erase them from existence. You are the final piece, which is why everyone's trying so hard to kill you. Lady and Credo should've known better than to take you lightly. We all thought your were going to be a joke."

"So…that means… I'm contestant number 94?" I ask.

"Yeah."

That means, well, excluding the total count of 29 for the twins, 93 people have lost their existences. All of this really is riding on me. If I can't bring these people back, no one will be able too. Ninety-three innocent's people's blood on their hands. My tacos aren't looking too delicious anymore.

I gather up my stuff, "I have to go, y'know rest for tomorrow's match," I say.

He just nods his head.

I don't want to be the 94th and final person to lose my existence. Think about all the awesome things I'm going to/or maybe miss depending on the outcomes of this! Wait for it!

**List No. 11: **Things I'll miss when I'm gone

**1. **Legend of Zelda: The Skyward Sword. Seriously, this game better be awesome or I will lose all respect for Shigeru Miyamoto. Oh and even though I have taken a sacred vow to never touch/play a game again, I still want to know if it's going to be awesome. That teaser trailer really put the word "teaser" to the test. The graphics look beautiful. So beautiful that they may put Square Enix on a run for their money.

**2. **Mass Effect 3. Who isn't excited for Mass Effect 3? When Mass Effect 2 came out my friends and I threw an epic party, even if it was just three of us and my brother. We all ordered some Mass Effect gear (Sweatshirt, baseball cap, wristband, etc). I waited at the midnight premiere for approximately an hour at Best Buy to get the game too. Us, being near grown men, almost burst into tears when Joker, not my friend Joker- the guys name in the game is Joker, supposedly died. We all cheered when we found out otherwise. At the end of the game, we decided that if there wasn't going to be a Mass Effect 3 people were either A. Going to die or B. We'd start a riot. But we got our wish, so it's all good now.

**3. **2012. Yeah, that right. I said it, 2012. I just want to see if the world is really going to end or if it'll be a big joke like The Year 2K.

**4. **Pokemon Black & White. I can't believe they are releasing a new Pokemon Game and it's not going to be for the 3DS. I love that Pokemon that look like a chandelier. I don't know why, but I do know that that Pokemon will be on my team roster even if I give up a Pokemon that will be vital to my team. And the town- I mean city looks amazing. When I first saw the screenshots I thought I was looking at an entirely different game.

**5. **The announcement of Devil May Cry 5. If they are making a new one, I'm gonna buy the game so I can snap it in half then burn the remaining pieces. Hardcore, right?

**6. **Final Fantasy Agito XIII & Final Fantasy Versus XIII. Everyone knows that Final Fantasy games are a force to be reckoned with. Except for X-2, which is the worst one of the series hands down. I don't care if I have the whole FF universe trying to kill me, as long as I get the game and play through it, I'll die happy.

**7. **Hovercrafts/boards Yep… Hovercrafts/boards. Though this won't happen anytime soon, probably not even my lifetime. Maybe in my kid's lifetime, depending on if I have any or not. Maybe the government has made a Hovercraft/board, but placed it in Area 51 due to some serious technical difficulties? Imagine someone drunk driving on one of those. It'd be complete chaos. And accidents in the sky would be twice as dangerous. But still. I want one.

**8. **JET PACKS! Enough said.

**9. **Elder Scrolls V & Fallout 4. It's bound to happen eventually since Elder Scrolls Oblivion IV: Oblivion and Fallout 3 was so successful. Beyond successful at that. You aren't a true gamer if you haven't played either.

When I get home, Florence, Jordan, and Quinn are sitting on the porch steps. They have the light on so they can see without difficulty in the dark. Florence and Jordan seem to be arguing over something, but I can't hear about what. When my car pulls into the driveway, they spring up from their seats.

"Liam!" My brother and sister yell.

"Hey guys," I wave, trying to make myself appear more tired than I already am. In reality, I'm still quite bothered by the fact that 93 people have lost before me. If I'm lucky, like that killer lepruchan Lucky, I'll make it to the tenth and final round. I'm going to assume the last person is Dante. Also, if I'm correct Vergil and Dante will be the last two people I face considering that they're the last two to come over to this side. And if I do my math right, Nero was probably the one who ended the twins. Though… I can't explain how he was only recently noticed by Quinn. Maybe at one point we were effected by whatever everyone else is experiencing now.

"Dude, what the hell!" Jordan yells, grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me, "Who puts their remote in their shoe and then puts it underneath the bed!"

"Huh? Oh! I thought I threw it out the window…after well… my T.V. talked to me," I reply.

"Thank god you didn't or we wouldn't have gave you your weapon in time," He complains.

"Speaking of which!" I glare at him, "Why the hell would you give me guns! I can't even believe I shot her with my horrible accuracy! I suck at first person shooter games!" Actually, I'm pretty good… But that's beside the point.

"Well, we were contemplating on giving you a magnum," Jordan says, scratching at his chin.

"Oh, that would've been even better. I'd have a bloody nose _and _a broken finger from the recoil," I laugh sarcastically.

"Which is precisely why we decided against it," He smirks.

"His finger "accidentally" slipped on the x-button," Quinn makes air quotes, "so that's why you had dual pistols."

Jordan shoots Quinn a dirty look. "If you two hadn't been nudging at me I would've picked the kantana or the wind magic."

"Wait, so you get to chose what weapon I get? It's not completely random?" I ask as I continue up the steps.

"Yeah. But we have to be careful. Once you pick it, it can't be chosen again," Jordan explains as we walk in the house, "I'm trying to figure out a way around it but so far I've had no luck."

"Darn it. So I can't get that awesome yellow glowing short sword again?" I ask.

"Well, you can get a different variation of it. Like a blue glow instead of yellow. The glowing aura represents the an elemental attribute. Of course, for the dual guns I'm pretty sure one was an electric type and the other a psychic or poison type. Something like that," He explains, "Let's go up to your room and I'll show you."

My room looks like a storm came through. My blankets are thrown all the over place, as are my shoes and game guides. My television is on too. A yellow screen with black words and a full body picture of me is shown. It looks like your typical RPG menu. Right below my picture is my name, along with my health points (which are dangerously low) and magic points (which is undisturbed). On the side is a list of stuff: equipment (weapons), equipment (magic), and items.

"What is this, Pokemon?" I ask.

"I'd say more a mix of Persona 4 and Final Fantasy," He replies, picking up the controller and selecting the "Equipment (weapons)" from the menu.

A list of weapons comes up, with a picture of it on the side. Which ever one the arrow hovers over, the picture is big, but becomes small again, when the arrow is taken off of it. If you click R2 or L2 it organizes them based on Attributes, weight, one-handed, double-handed, ranged, melee, or weapon type. This definitely is not your typical everyday Action Replay, that's for sure.

"I think it's better if we start you out with single weapons. Plus it's also better to see what kinda of weapon the opponent uses to judge what their weakness may be," Jordan continues to geek on.

"How long did it take for you to figure all of this out?" I ask, slightly impressed.

"A few minutes," He shrugs, like it's no big deal.

"Show off…" Quinn mutters.

"Jealous, Quintus?" Jordan grins.

"N-No!" Quinn stammers. Clearly he is jealous. Especially since someone else outsmarted him. Our little genius outsmarted by the epic douche bag. Not like that happens everyday.

"Well guys," I say, hopping onto my bed, "I need to sleep and the exit is that away…" I point my index fingers in the direction of the door.

"Ah fine," They sigh.

"I'm sleepin' on the couch," Florence yells pushing Jordan to the ground. He hits into my dresser, barely missing my Playstation and the television as he falls.

"Ow, you bitch!" Jordan yells, "We already agreed that I'm sleeping on the couch!" He gets up and runs after my sister and Quinn who snicker sinisterly. "We agreed!" He slams the doors shut behind him.

They continue yelling for what seems like hours until I eventually fall asleep.

_Nero sits in Taco Bell eating a chalupa like I had seen him doing hours earlier. The strange thing about all of this is that besides the single light shining on Nero, all the other lights are off and he's the only person in the store. Moonlight shines through the windows making a few parts of the store visible, but other than that complete darkness._

"_You think you can win, do you?" Nero says still looking down at the table. _

"_Yeah?" I say, wondering if this is the real deal or just a dream. _

"_Yeah, yeah we do," A voice says somewhere within the shadows. It isn't my voice that's for sure, but it does sound familiar. _

"_We will win. We will put a stop to this if it's the last thing we do," Another voice, a bit gruffer than the other. _

_From my right two figures emerge from the shadows. What were once my science and history teachers stand carrying a sword and the other a pistol. _

"_Just because you two won six battles doesn't mean you can gloat," Nero grins as he puts down his food. He gets to his feet and snaps his fingers. His arm begins to glow a bright blue, like in the games. The flesh on his arms slowly begins to peel away, eventually revealing his demon arm. His sword appears in his other hand and he holds it out towards the twins. _

_Their confident expressions do not falter. Well, except for Glenn Delacour. He holds the pistol up to Nero and Ian does the same, except he uses a short sword. _

_You can tell the difference between the twins by three ways: One, Glenn has one blue and one green eye, while Ian has two blue eyes. Two, Glenn wears glasses, Ian doesn't. Three, Ian has a small scar on his cheek. They both have medium length jet black hair and pale skin. They are also both the same height and probably weight the same too._

"_No hard feelings?" Ian says just as the ticker on his cell phone hits Zero. _

"_No hard feelings," He smiles, then lunges at the twins. _

_Everything in my body is yelling at them to run, but they can't see or hear me. Whatever this is isn't just a dream. It's a memory. The memory of how they died. _

_Glenn and Ian dodge the attack with ease. Ian tries to use the chance to do a counter attack, but it fails when Nero's arm extends and grabs a hold of him. Ian grunts as he's smashed against the ground over and over. The air escapes from his lungs. Glenn picks up a chair and throws it at his opponent. It catches him off guard and he's forced to let Ian go in order to get out of harm's way. Ian quickly scurries out of arms reach somewhere next to the soda dispensers. Nero smashes the chair against the wall and chargers Glenn._

_Glenn shoots his pistol at Nero's leg to the attack, but even though it hits, Nero continues to charge. As a last ditch effort Glenn kicks the chair at him. The chair hits him the knee he was shot and he topples over into a table. _

_When Nero gets up he's furious. Like, when he first released his demon, mad. "Time to get serious, huh? I'll tear you to shreds." _

"_Damn right you will," I say aloud, even though I know no one can hear me. _

"_Oh, I thought you were being serious," Ian laughs. He still appears to be injured, actually he his injured. Bloods drips down his face. He tries to stab at Nero, but Nero grabs the sword and rips it clean from his hands. He throws the sword underneath a table._

_Glenn screams for Ian to run, but Nero back hands Glenn so hard with his demon arm that it sends him flying through the glass. The glass shatters on impact. Glenn falls into shard of razor sharp glass. _

"_Glenn!" Ian screams, trying to get his brother, but is stopped short when Nero's blade pierces through his stomach. I almost close my eyes because its really quite sad, but I keep them open even though I know the end to this memory. He looks down at the blade, shocked. He begins coughing up blood, then Nero pulls it out and he drops to the floor like a rag doll. _

_With his blade still tainted with Ian's blood, Nero advances on the remaining twin. Glenn stares wide eyed at his brother's limp body. He blinks hard, tears streaming down his face. He tries to get up but he's lost so much blood that he buckles under his own weight. I can't even tell what is glass and what is blood. He sighs and closes his eyes, just before Nero impales his sword through his heart. _

I awake with a start. It's still dark outside and my family and Jordan, if he's still here, sleep soundly. Sweat drips down off of my forehead even though it's pretty cold. I think this is my last day on suspension, tomorrow I resume school life. It makes me wonder what I'll have to do if I get a message while in class. I do know the school like the back of my hand. Also, I have the master key to every room in the school, including the roof. But that's beside the point. I'll have to get Florence to come get me or something.

I hadn't bothered to do much of anything after I had gotten home from my epic battle. Not even change out of my wet clothes which caused the room to smell like sea water. Even now I don't feel like anything. My entire body aches. I feel like… well some game characters used me as a punching bag.

Since I feel all gross and smell like walrus, I decide to take a bath. Sure I'm just gonna get all dirty again, but at least I'll feel clean when I get my ass whopped later on.

Only halfway through my shower do I almost slip and hit my head on the side of the tub because Florence starts banging the door.

"The hell, Florence?" I scream, "There's another bathroom on the first floor for a reason!"

"Liam!" She yells, but the water keeps cutting her off. "G… o…ut… th… s..o… Y…. hav… to… go!"

"Get away from the god damn door, Florey! It's one o'clock in the morning! What are you even doing awake?" I yell.

Suddenly the door bust open, coming off it's hinges a little. Let's just say mum and dad are going to murder us if we don't get a new one. Ah well, looks like we'll be using one of my closet doors. Jordan and Florence stand in the doorway, both of them shocked at what they had just done. I guess he decided to stay over.

I stay hidden behind the brown shower curtains, still covering up even though I know I can't be seen. "Get out!" I scream.

Florence recovers from her shock first. "No, Liam!" She yells, "You need to get out and now!"

"Bitch, don't te-" I start to complain.

"There's a message on your phone!" Jordan interrupts.

"What!" I yell, "Hand me the towel!" I turn off the water just as one of them throws the towel over the top of the shower. I wrap the towel around my waist and pull the curtains to one side. I run past the two with my clothes in hand and start to get dressed even before I'm in the room.

When I'm done, I grab my car keys.

"Here's your phone," Florence says handing me my phone on the way out.

I flip the phone open and select my last text message. Well, the second to last text message since Bryce is still sending me angry texts, even though it is one in the morning.

**Meeting Time: **Thirty minutes from this exact time.  
**Location: **Smith Haven Mall (East Entrance), Abercrombie & Fitch  
**Round Win: **Survive 20 minutes  
**Round Loss: **Arrive late or die before give time is up

"Well, that's not so bad," I shrug. I guess they had a feeling I'd be sleeping… or showering.

On my way out Florence and Jordan argue over who's gonna fix the door. All I know is that this time it wasn't my fault.

And that's when it hits me, as I'm opening my car door, just how much my aches. I take a deep breath and then continue on my way.

The drive to the mall is short. It takes me about five minutes to get there, even without speeding. The ticker on my phone reaches five minutes as I park my car in the east entrance. The front door is wide open and I figure that's my way to get in.

Everything about the mall is giving me the creeps right now. It doesn't seem that bad when all the lights are on, but with all of them off, besides the ones in Abercrombie, I feel like I've walked into a haunted house…er… I mean mall.

I've only been in Abercrombie once before this, but the store is pretty nice even though the stuff they sell isn't. There's a wall filled with palm trees and what not in the front of the store. Almost immediately you are given a choice on which way you want to go. Right leads to the guy stuff and the left leads to the girl clothes. I decide to go the girl way. I see a figure almost immediately when I turn the corner. The walls are lined up with male and female mannequins. There's no clothes anywhere, except for on a cloaked figure standing in the center of the room of all the mannequins.

"What the hell…?" I gasp, "It's like that movie… with the killer mannequins…" I don't know about you guys, but I'm seriously hoping these mannequins don't come to life or I'm going to die from not only a heart attack, but seizure too. I'm just saying.

The ticker hits zero.

"Ummm…"I scratch my head nervously, "Hello?"

That warm sensation fills my body. My hands begin to glow yellow, but that's it. They just glow yellows. No weapon, nothing. My heart skips a beat. Had the Action Replay finally broke? Why now of all times?

The cloaked figure pulls off of their cloak and tosses it to the floor beside them.

"H-huh!" I gasp. This person was either in DMC1 or DMC2. I don't remember which. But she was a playable character at one point in the game. She was actually one of the "mannequins" some guy had made but she was a failed one at that. If you guessed the lovely lady Lucia, then congratulations, you are correct!

She holds a dagger in each of her hands. She doesn't say a single word to me as she starts walking towards me. Suddenly she lunges towards and I knock over a mannequin as I roll out of the way. She snaps her head in my direction and comes at me again. I zigzag through the tables, not even bothering to look behind me. One false move and _"Off with his heeeeead!" _

At one point I run out of tables to use. Lucia hops on the last one. She tries to lop my head off, but I duck and slide underneath the table. I kick one of the legs out and she topples over into one of her mannequins. I get to my feet and run towards the other side of the store. She groans as she gets back up. A small scratch is now visible on her face. She glares at me and hops on top of the table, one by one makes her way towards me. At the last second I kick over a mannequin and it hits into the table. The table rolls out of arms reach as she tries to hit me with her blade.

"C'mon!" She yells annoyed, "I'm not going to let you beat me." She hops of the table just as it slams into the other mannequins, knocking all the ones on that side over like dominoes.

She corners me in between a glass display window and a wall shelf.

"Fuck," I think looking desperately for a way out of this mess.

She slices at my arm, playfully. My sweater rips revealing blood. I hold my arm and look at her terrified. She grabs a fistful of my sweater and throws me to the ground. Even before I have the chance to regain my composure. She hovers me, ready to stab me wherever she can.

"It was a good fight, but now I'll be the winner," She says. I hold my hand up and close my eyes.

Well, it's been good… short but good.

Suddenly a loud clang is heard. I open my eyes and nearly faint from what I see. No, it's not my blood seeping out of a new cavity, but rather a clear yellow shield coursing with electricity blocking her attack.

"H-Hah!" I laugh heartily. Magic! It's magic!

"This is ridiculous!" Lucia yells, still trying to hit me.

I push my hand against the shield and it hits her in the face. She screams something as she holds her bloody nose. I scramble to my feet. I snap my fingers and electricity flows through my finger tips. It hits her knocking her off her feet.

She throws her dagger at me. I try to get out harms way, but it hits me in the leg. I scream out in pain. I keel over and fall into a display case. "You bitch! You freakin' bitch!"

She grabs me by the leg and I kick her in the face, despite the pain in my leg.

"Get off me!" I holler.

She tries to stab me again with her other dagger but I keep kicking her in the face until she lets go. I snap my fingers again and the electricity goes wild. Hitting everything in it's path. The light bulbs explode and darkness fills the room. I use that time while everything's going crazy to pull the dagger out of my leg.

Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch!

That's pretty much all that runs through my mind as I put my hands around the handle, bite my lip, and pull. It hurts more coming out than it did going in. I feel around for the cloak Lucia had worn to stop my leg from bleeding. Suddenly a white light envelopes the room. I turn towards Lucia and she's gone. The glow around my hands disappears completely. The light fades away, leaving me alone in the dark. I try to stand up but my leg folds under my weight.

"God damn it!" I shout, "Someone freakin' help me!" I know no one can hear me, but it doesn't hurt to try. Soon I'm taking apart a fallen mannequin. I use one of the legs as a crutch. Yeah, imagine it. A brunette teenager limping out of a mall at… now…two in the morning with a mannequin leg.

"Ah…" I groan. The pain gets worse with step.

Eventually I make it to my car. One thing goes through my mind and that's "Thank god Lucia hit me in the leg I don't need to drive".

* * *

**Next Chapter: One of These Things is Not Like the Other**

_Edited: 3-8-2011_

**Bring Your Own Kites: **Not my best work, but I know you guys have been looking forward to a new chapter so here it is. Also, if I were to make a sequel, what game you be more likely to read a fanfic for: Resident Evil, Assassin's Creed, Kingdom Hearts, Pokemon or Persona? _By the way, it seems RE is winning by a landslide._


	12. The Kids Aren't Alright

**XII. The Kids Aren't Alright**

* * *

"_Yeah, you've got my back against the wall."  
_-Cage the Elephant

* * *

Somewhere in between crawling to my car and listening to my siblings scream at me over the phone, I'd managed to drive myself all the way to the hospital, despite the injury to my leg. I collapsed almost as soon as I staggered into the hospital. I had lost a lot of blood and had to get a blood transfusion.

"So how exactly did you hurt your leg?" The doctor asks, staring down at me for the third time. I am currently in the emergency room and a few nurses are staring at me wondering how I could've sustained such an injury.

"Uh well… You know how your parents tell you not to out after dark because it's dangerous, right? Well, I learned the hard way that they are not kidding," I lie. It's pretty funny that I can lie my way through almost any situation. I'm like The Wanderer in Fallout 3. I'm a silver tongued devil. Did I mention that my parents and teachers believed that I was going to grow up to be a sociopath? Me? A sociopath? That's absolutely crazy! I have feelings… that mostly consist of anger. "I wanted some tacos and accidentally dropped my favorite Pac Man keychain out of the window. I pulled over to the side of the road and as I searched for it, this brolic old woman comes up to me tries to cut me with her knife. Actually it was more of a dagger, but yeah. I'm a little fuzzy on what happened next, but the next thing I knew I was on the floor pulling a dagger out of my leg and the crazy bitch was gone. I feel like her sole intention was to stab me in the leg."

The doctor scratches his beard and ponders over it for a few moments. "Well, at least you learned your lesson…" He says finally.

Typical thing for an adult to say, huh? What if I had been raped while going to get some tacos? Would he say that then? Of course not.

I stare down at the thick bandages on my leg. They told me I was lucky the "knife" hadn't gone through to the other side or I would've been stuck with more than just stitches and crutches. Now my leg feels okay, but in general I just feel like shit. Surgery was a blast too. I got a piece of the blade stuck in my leg so they had to fish that out. I was under some anesthetics so I hadn't been in much pain during the surgery. Thank whoever invented anesthetics or every surgery would be a walk through a needle stack without any shoes.

I'm pretty sure the hospital already informed my family. I'm praying that mom will be too busy to come see me. On the other hand I'm sure that Florence, Jordan (if he's feeling up to it), and Quinn will be here shortly.

Oh and just so you know I'm not really in a hospital room. I'm the hallway next to a room. I'm in between two people. The first is a guy around my age throwing up his organs. Okay, maybe not throwing up his organs but he might as well be.

One of the doctors simply sighs in disgust as the guy throws up on him. The guy manages to say a few words in between throwing up, "I am never… spending my vacation on Long Island…ever ag- argh!" This time he vomits all over a nurse who, in turn, screams.

The second is an older hippie looking guy who seems to be under the influence of drugs and he's seriously tweaking out. He's handcuffed to the bed, of course, since doing drugs is illegal and quite honestly, if he wasn't, I would be more afraid of him then any of the DMC characters I had fought so far.

I decide to shift my attention to other things. Like why is it that I'm stuck in between two sick people? Is the world so out to get me that they not only have to get me stabbed in the leg they have to get me sick too?

The kid next to me eventually stops throwing up and falls asleep. The crazy hippie guy keeps mumbling stuff about how he had been probed by aliens. The nurses in the end take him away and then there's complete silence, well except for the beeping of the heart rate monitors.

After a while of staring at the plain white walls and listening to people cry and what not I begin to doze off. I sit up straight, wiping my eyes furiously. Part of me fears that I may just get another message while sleeping despite receiving one hours earlier. The other part of me is worried that my mother may just kill me when she finds out that I'm in the hospital. Assuming she already hasn't.

I ask one of the nurses if I can have a Red Bull or something of the sorts and he stares at me as if I had just broken some sacred oath. He responds with something along the lines of "Sleep. Better. Leg." And that's enough of an explanation I need to convince me to go to sleep.

But as soon as I fall asleep, something seems to be a bit off about my dream. For starters, it feels way too real to be a dream. Secondly, I'm in my hospital get up with my crutches. Third, I'm standing awkwardly in the middle of a forest clearing. Fourth, it's the middle of the night as far as I can tell since the moon is high in the sky and I can barely see whatever the moon's light doesn't illuminate.

"H-Helloooooo?" I call out, nervous. Oh gosh, what is this? Where am I? Why am I not in the hospital resting like I'm supposed to be? "Anybody there?" Of course no one answers me. I mean why would they?

I start wobbling towards one edge of the clearing. That's when the brush in front of me begins to shake violently. I begin backing up slowly, knowing full well if it's someone who has the intent to kill me I'd better get a head start.

And then suddenly two hooded figures burst out of the forest and rush past me. They don't seem to take notice of me since they run straight passed me without so much as a glance. What the hell is going on?

"We need to split up," One of them says. I recognize their voices almost immediately. They are the Delacours. "or that crazy bi… I mean… woman is going to strangle us to death with her hair."

"I have no objection to that," The other says starting to take off in the opposite direction when suddenly something black and thick wraps around his leg. He looks down at it as it begins to spiral upwards. He and his twin exchange a brief glance when out of the blue he is pulled to the ground and dragged across the field. "GET IT OFF, GLENN!" The man screams frantically kicking his legs.

Glenn starts chasing after his brother. He claps his hands together and a fireball shoots out at it igniting the tentacle looking thing attached to his leg on fire. But, of course, it lights his pant's leg on fire too and Ian starts screaming bloody murder.

Glenn begins to panic as he chases after them. That was obviously not his intention at all. He snaps his fingers and a giant ball of water dispels the flames. Ian continues to get dragged. "By the gods, help me!" Ian screams.

"Ian!" Glenn shouts, "Use your sword!"

Ian stops clawing at the ground and puts his hands together. A white light emanates from his palms as he slowly pulls them apart. A short sword appears in hands.

How the hell are they doing all this awesome stuff?

Ian flips over so he is no longer lying on his belly. He sits up as much as he can, takes the newly formed sword and begins hacking away at the tentacle like thing still pulling him. As he gets closer to me I realize that it's not a tentacle. It's hair. Yeah, I said it. It is pitch black hair.

At this point I'm screaming too. I can scream all I want and no one will hear me. But that's beside the point. No one in the DMC universe that I know of uses fucking hair as a weapon! What is this! A mini-boss or some shit?

Ian finally manages to cut himself free. The hair retreats back into the forest at break neck speed. He doesn't waste anytime getting to his feet and fleeing from the scene.

I start wobbling after them as quickly as I can.

"She's going to murder us," Glenn says to Ian who is still a little jumpy. He keeps glancing down at his legs. Probably trying to make sure that all of that demon hair is off of him.

"Let's… Let's just get the hell out of here before she finds us…" He shakes.

"Before who finds you?" Someone with a thick English accent someone behind me says. I nearly stumble over from spinning around too fast with my crutches.

"W-what the…?" I breathe is disbelief as I stare at the woman. She has jet black hair matches her skin tight suit. She has various gold and red ornaments on her suit and in her hair here and there. She wears heels and a pair of librarian glasses. She has a distinct mole over her right cheek bone. This woman here isn't even in the DMC games. She's not even in a Capcom game! This is bullshit! Absolute bullshit! Fuck you, Sega! Fuck you!

"Stay away from me!" Ian screams pointing an accusatory finger at the woman, "You and your demon hair that obeys your every command!" He continues to run.

"Come back boys~" Bayonetta, yes Bayonetta, winks shortly before she charges at the twins.

Glenn claps his hands and the ground protrudes upward creating a wall of earth between the three. She scales over it with incredible acrobatics.

"Damn it," Ian hisses as he twirls around to clash swords with the woman. Bayonetta smiles. He puts all his force on his sword to push her back. Glenn sends a fireball her way. She dodges it with ease and continues to advance on her targets.

"C'mon boys!" She laughs, "Is that all you've got! I thought you two had more spunk than that!" She spins around and her skin tight hair suit swirls off her body leaving her nude. The hair forms into a giant hair Cerberus.

Glenn's face flushes. Ian, probably still scarred from earlier, doesn't even bat an eye. Me? I'm too focused on that killer dog she has going on to pay much attention to anything else.

"Glenn! Pay attention!" Ian snaps his fingers in front of his gawking brother's face.

"Y-Yeah! I'm paying attention!" Glenn comes back to reality just as she commands the dog to attack.

Glenn practically prances out of the way. Ian simply dodge rolls out of the way at the last moment. As soon as he's back on his feet he quickly goes in for the attack. The sword clashes with the monster hair and it makes a loud clanging noise. He stumbles back a few feet and trips over what appears to be the most incontinently placed rock ever. Ian falls to the ground. Glenn runs over, snapping his fingers to make an electrical shield, and superman dives at his brother. He collides with his fallen twin, making it just in time as Bayonetta's Cerberus comes down on them.

"What the fuck!" Ian screams as the monster bashes violently into the electrical shield. He starts violently thrashing around each time it comes down on the shield.

"It's almost over!" Glenn yells pointing at his watch. His twin is still busy screaming bloody murder. With the flick of his wrist the electrical shield smashes up into the monster's face and he pulls his brother up while it is still in a daze. Ian continues screaming as his brother drags him across the field with every ounce of strength he has. "Shut up! Shut the hell up, Ian! I can't concentrate!" Ian screams louder pointing in the direction of Bayonetta. Cerberus is right on their tail.

And just as it catches up to them and is about to make them its next meal, it explodes into a bright white light. Ian stops screaming as his brother drops him. Glenn, out of breath collapses to the ground beside his brother. The two look at each other and smile.

"By the way, I'm telling all the students you scream like a girl…" Glenn breathes.

"I dare you," Ian smirks, "and I'll tell them all about that one time you-"

Then suddenly I'm staring up at the bright lights of the hospital. Of course Florence is blocking some of the view, but I don't really mind. She has a genuinely concerned look on her face. I can't figure out why since I had talked to her hours earlier telling her, and the others that I was fine. I roll over as much as I can without my hurting leg and standing behind her is Quinn, Jordan, and the doctor from earlier.

"Oh god, you're okay!" Florence yells pulling me into a bear hug.

Jordan awkwardly eyes the doctor. He's probably thinking of something to say without incriminating me in the process. "So…an old…lady attacked you, eh?" He snickers.

"Shut your mouth," I snap.

"Your heart beat decreased substantially while you were sleeping… Enough that you should be dead," The doctor tells me, "It's a wonder you're alive."

"Oh, really?" I smirk, prying Florence off of me. I'm a little worried about my dreams. Like why am I having them in the first place? Is it some kind of morale booster… in a sick and twisted way? Or are Dante and Co. trying to tell me that no matter how hard I try, in the end I will lose? Or what if it's just my subconscious making up these dreams?

"You'll need to take it easy for the next few days. We'll be letting you out later on after a bit of observation. If it doesn't turn out well, we'll need to run some tests on you to see what's wrong," The doctor says, swapping the IV bag with another.

"Uh…okay…" I scratch my head.

Once the doctor disappears down the hall, Jordan starts complaining.

"Honestly, you are the luckiest kid I know. You've had three brushes with death in the last few days and you've made it out with nothing more than a few cuts and bruises…and stitches, but most people, with their shit luck, they'd be dead. I have to congratulate you on your quick and resourceful thinking," Jordan says patting me on the shoulder. "But this," He motions towards my leg, "might be a serious problem."

"Oh, you think so?" I roll my eyes.

"I'm sure there's got to be a way to replenish your health points or something…" He scratches his chin.

"Do they have potions or whatever?" Quinn asks.

"Didn't see any when I looked at the menu…" He replies.

For a very brief moment I wonder if I should tell them about my dreams. Quite frankly I am a little worried about whether or not these dreams are fatal. What if the next time I sleep, I do die? That would be a very horrible way to die when game characters are out for my blood, right?

"That or they really aren't trying to kill him," Florence says.

"Not trying to kill him! Were you even watching the TV?" Jordan stares in disbelief at my sister, "The first one tried to lop his head off. The second one, crazy one she was, tried to shoot him with a Gatling Gun. And the third, don't even get me started on her, succeeded in stabbing him in the damn leg. Who knows what the fourth is going to do!"

"So? They could be brilliant actors. It could be like that movie _Wanted_," Florence says, hands on her hips, refusing to drop the argument.

Quinn and I just glance back and fourth letting them duke it out.

"What? _Wanted_? Why _Wanted_? This has no relation to that movie. Are they trying to recruit him into some kind of hidden super assassin guild?" Florence opens her mouth to defend herself but Jordan holds up his hand silencing her. "I'm not done yet. No where near done as a matter of fact. Is Liam's father one of them…well was one of them? Unless your mother somehow magically managed to get herself impregnated by a game console, it is impossible. I will not accept anything you say after this as a valid argument."

Oh that and they've been killing people for two years and I've been around for almost eighteen.

"I'm just saying they could be trying to protect him," She groans, annoyed.

"Protect him from what? Us?" He motions at the three of them. "We're hardly a threat here to any of them. I'm sure they could snipe us as we exited the hospital if they _really _wanted to "save" him."

"I'm just-"

"Florence, I don't think you're going to win this argument," I interrupt since the conversation is slowly getting out of hand.

"But-"

"No, seriously, Florence," Quinn interrupts this time, "It is a losing battle. Many have tried, none have succeeded."

Florence stomps off angrily, but she only makes it to the end of the hallway before she is intercepted by one of the many people I was hoping not to see- my mother. "And just where do you think you're going Florence Holly Emmerich?" My mother says grabbing her by the arm and dragging her back towards us.

Jordan tenses up. "Maybe I'll be taking my leave now…" He starts edging his way in the opposite direction.

"Don't you even dare, Mr. Parker," My mother hisses. Jordan stops in his tracks, sighs, and then comes back to stand by me. "Someone tell me why my son is in the hospital when he should be in school?" My mother asks. Quinn sinks down on the edge of the bed where I am lying.

"Well… Mrs. Emmerich…" Jordan decides to be the human sacrifice, "Uhm…" My mother has the power to make power to make even Godzilla grovel before her feet. "Well… Liam here got stabbed in the leg."

"I know that much!" She snaps, depositing my sister by Quinn. "But how and why?"

"Because I wanted to help an elderly lady?" I reply, looking at my friend-kind of friend- and my siblings in hopes that if they knew what was good for them, they'd keep their mouths shut.

"Someone stabbed you for trying to help an old lady?" My mother asks in disbelief.

"The old lady did," I reply.

"What? Was she senile or something?" My mother presses on.

"I don't know… She was lying on the ground and I pulled over to help her and she stabbed my…leg. Can we talk about something else? I'm still a little scarred from the events."

"Liam, you are a compulsive liar. Do you really expect me to believe that?" My mother snaps.

"Mom! I don't lie… I just twist the truth around a tad bit. What would I gain from lying to you about what happened? Nothing, absolutely nothing…" Honestly do you think my mum would believe me if I told her that a video game character had stabbed me in the leg? Damn straight she wouldn't. I think I have a better chance convincing her that my dead grandmother possessed me.

My mother studies me for a few seconds trying to see if I'm lying or not. She can see through the tiniest lie. I'm hoping today she's not on her ball game.

"I'll believe you this time…" She glares at me.

Woot! My luck is turning around-kind of!

She turns her attention to Jordan. "And what are you doing here, Mr. Parker?"

Jordan, who was once slumped over, stands up straight. Like I said before my mother is a force to be reckoned with. "Florence called me and told me what was happening. And…" He stops, looking over at Florence. Florence raises an eyebrow at him. "And…" His ears begin to glow red. A tomato would be jealous of his color. "us being boyfriend and girlfriend," Florence falls off the bed. She quickly gathers herself and covers her, now too red face. "I came over immediately."

"Bullshit," My mother and I say in unison.

"It's true though…" Jordan pushes past my mother, walks over to Florence, and takes her hand in his.

"Let my sister's hand go this instance, fiend!" I yell, trying to sit up. This better be a joke so that mum never finds out that Jordan was over our house.

Jordan just glares at me.

"And boy, oh boy do I hope you're lying," Quinn shakes his head disapprovingly. "I really do."

"As do I!" I pitch in.

I look at my mother, who stands there mouth ajar and eyes wide. This isn't going to go over well with her. "How long?" My mum asks, eyebrows furrowing.

"Five years," Jordan replies almost immediately. He seems to be genuinely embarrassed.

"J-Jordan! This isn't how I wanted to tell them…" Florence protests.

"I…" My mother walks away from us, "I need to take a breather. I'll be outside," She disappears around the corner. Quinn, of course, gets up to make sure she is indeed gone. He gives us a thumbs up once he peers around the corner.

"Explain yourselves!" I snap.

Jordan starts to smile, almost until he can't anymore. Then he and Florence let go of each others hands and burst out laughing.

"O-oh shit! They fell for it, Ginger! They fucking fell for it!" Jordan cackles banging against the wall.

"Oh my god… I can't breathe!" Florence giggles as tears stream down her face. "Oh…haha… you fell for it! Ahahah! I… I didn't think he would do it! Oh man!"

"Well that's good. If you two had been dating for five years I might've felt inclined to stab you to death with this IV needle," I smile. They just continue laughing even harder. Quinn rolls his eyes.

"You guys do know that you'll actually have to pretend to be dating now, right?" He asks.

"Yeah, and your point is?" Jordan shrugs, "I'll have a legit reason to come over your house and then when all this is over, if Liam there doesn't die, I'll just "break up" with her." He air quotes.

"Just like that?" Florence stops laughing. She frowns.

"Uh…yeah?"

She punches him in the shoulder and turns away from him, arms crossed.

"Aww, c'mon," He snickers, "Don't be like that…"

I force myself to stay awake for the remainder of my hospital visit. There is no way in hell I'll let that Doctor see that something is wrong with me. What if he diagnoses it as something fatal and I'm forced to stay here longer, much, much longer? Of course Jordan, with his stark and witty comments, manages to keep my family and I entertained.

"Man kid, I figured you'd be out like a light knowing that you don't have to worry about another message. I'd sleep my day away. Never know, it just may be your last long good sleep, ever," Jordan says.

"Jordan, you really need to think about the words that come out of your mouth. They may seem harmless to you b-" Florence starts to say, but Jordan interrupts her.

"But they aren't meant to be," He frowns, "Harmless, I mean. They're supposed to instill fear."

"Oh that makes me feel so much better."

"Maybe you shouldn't talk for the remainder of this visit…" Quinn sighs, turning away from us.

"I'm just stating facts here," He shrugs.

"Keep them to yourself."

By the time I'm finally released from the hospital and arrive home it is well passed midnight. My mother, who has been avoiding us like the plague since she found out about Florence and Jordan, hasn't bothered to call since the incident. As for my little posse, all of us sit around in the living room.

"Okay, okay. The Doctor or Dante?" Jordan says, leaning back into the couch, arms spread lazily over the back of the couch.

"The Doctor, only because of the TARDIS and it's ability to travel through time. He can travel to alternate realities, any reality," I reply, shifting my leg that's propped up on the coffee table, into a more comfortable position. "And Dante's still trying to kill me so yeah."

"Commendable. Hmm…" He rubs his fingers across his beard, "John Sheppard or Commander Sheppard?"

"God, that's a tough one…" I sigh, "But I'm going to have to go with Commander Sheppard. He/She has got the coolest ship, plus they come back to life… y'know when the elusive man takes interest in him/her."

"Can't say I agree with that one… Link or Mario?"

"Link," I answer, almost immediately, "I don't even owe you an explanation."

"Of course you would choose the tight wearing hero," He smirks, "Mario's the true hero."

"You don't know what you're talking about," I cross my arms, "How dare you say that about the greatest hero."

"Greatest hero? Bullshit," Jordan shakes his head, "He's had everything handed out to him."

"No he hasn't. Sure he got the sword and shield with some help, but his other weapons he had to work for. He went through the freaking Water Temple. Do you know how much hell that must've been? It was hell for me and I was controlling him. At least his power ups aren't mushrooms and his side kick isn't a dinosaur." I argue.

"Oh yes, because having an annoying fairy as your counterpart is an better," He snorts. "HEY! LISTEN!"

"Well, at least Link didn't go to the wrong castle," I glare at him.

"It's not Mario's fault people kept leading him in the wrong direction."

"Well after the first two times he should've started to know something is up."

"Okay, then, smart ass. Who are your top five heroes? And if Mario isn't on that list, so help me god, I will hop over this cushion and tackle you to the ground and reopen your wound. I will stick my fingers in it afterward," He threatens, pointing a finger at me.

"He's not going to be in it because he's useless," I shrug.

Jordan starts to get up from his seat but Florence forcefully pushes him back down.

"Will you two stop it? You have been at it for hours! I just want to watch this episode of Sanctuary that I had to DVR because someone was in the hospital. I demand silence for an hour." Florence snaps, motioning at the television.

"You're no fun…" Jordan and I say in unison.

And speaking of top five heroes…

**List No. 12: **Top Five Video Game Heroes [Spoiler alert!]

**1. Chris Redfield (RE 1, 3?, CV, 5). **Yeah, that's right, this guy, the steroid hero of Resident Evil 1 and 5. Anyone who can "hook" a freaking boulder is okay in my book. Though I'd be a little weary. He could probably poke someone and they'd crumble into pieces. I'd hate to get into a fight with him. Plus he has serious balls to take on that red eyed demon, Wesker. I swear if he's alive in Resident Evil 6 I'm going to say he is immortal.

**2. Altair/Ezio Auditore (Assassin CreedI, II, & Brotherhood). **They're relatives so I guess they can go in the same section. Personally I think that Ezio is the better assassin. Though Altair was the one who changed the guild forever. Most of their targets never see it coming. They are the masters of stealth. Those game always have mind fuck endings. Like when Minerva turns at the screen and says "Desmond". How the fuck does she know about Desmond? My heart leapt out of my freaking heart.

**3. Link (Legend of Zelda Saga). **Already explained this one.

**4. Kite (.hack/series). **Honestly if you have the guts to fight online monsters that may potentially put you in a coma to save your best friend then you are a true hero. Haseo, the G.U. hero, has nothing on him. Haseo had help with fighting bosses. He had an Avatar and most of his friends had Avatars too. Kite, he only had a bracelet and no friends that possessed the power he did. So he had to actually work at what he did.

**5. Zack Fair (Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII & Final Fantasy VII). **The real hero of the Final Fantasy VII series. A lot better than all of those other emo heroes that everyone loves because their so emo, aside from Zidane. Oh and Vaan. But he didn't contribute anything significant to the story so I don't consider him to be the hero. Balthier is more of a hero. Anyway, Zack has persevered through tough times (Death of Angeal, betrayal of Sephrioth, being kidnapped), and somehow even managed to stay as peachy as Chris Cringle on Christmas.

**6. Red (Pokemon Red, Blue, Green, Yellow, Silver, Gold, Crystal, HG, & SS). **Obviously I can't count. But this guy deserves to be up here on this list as much as the other. A ten year old, who without a second thought, took down an entire gang. Well, it's not like he had much of a choice either. They kept showing up wherever he was. It wasn't like he was seeking them out. Well, maybe expect for that one time in the game corner, but that's beside the point. If a kid were to defeat my boss in a Pokemon battle I'd be a little disappointed too. More than disappointed. Oh and let's not forget that after becoming Champion he retreated to the top of Mt. Silver…

"There's plenty of other places for you to carry out your conversation," She hisses.

"I think you sh-"

"He's a jukebox hero! He's stars in his eyes!" My phone jingles.

The room becomes silent, aside from Will yelling at Henry on the television. Each of us look at one another then down at my phone.

"I think they watch you," Jordan says, breaking the silence.

"Me too," I nod my head slowly, reaching for my phone.

"I bet they sit around one of those long dinner tables in those fancy houses with a fireplace and huge television over it and watch you. What kind of cable company do they have? Why LESAG! The Liam Emmerich Smart Ass Galore cable company! Over 5000 channels of Liam Emmerich being his usual asshole self!" Jordan announces making a pretend microphone out of his hand.

**Meeting Time: **Ten minutes from this exact moment.  
**Location: **Gatelot School East Playground  
**Round Win: **Survive 24 minutes  
**Round Loss: **Fail to arrive on time or dying during battle.

I pull myself to my feet, wiggling my leg around and testing just how much pain I will have to go through without my crutches. As soon as I start staggering towards my crutches, pain seethes through my entire body. I really will be putting my luck to the test with this battle. If I survive, I promise not to steal mum's apple pie and blame it on the squirrels.

Florence and the others head up the stairs, wordlessly.

After a lot of struggling and nearly crashing into trees I make it to Gatelot Elementary School. Gatelot is a one story elementary school with the most badass play grounds I've ever seen. Sometimes I have the urge, while I'm driving past it after school, to swan dive down those awesome plastic slides where some kindergartener probably peed and climb across those rope bridges. Though I'm pretty sure the staff wouldn't be too thrilled if they saw a high schooler playing amongst the children and knocking them out of his way. I was denied an awesome playground when I was in elementary school. These kids should be happy they have plastic slides instead of hard metal ones and turf instead sand where bullies would constantly half burry me in the sand. Oh and they have those awesome rope towers! God I love those things.

After deciding to leave my crutches in the car, I'm forced to climb over the fence, which on any given day wouldn't be too difficult but with an injured leg, it feels like I've just run the mile. I'm careful about how I land on the ground. I prop myself up against the slide waiting for my opponent to appear.

My hands start to heat up. A rapier with a strange red mist swirling around the hilt appears in my hands. I stare at it, hard. Why the hell would they give me a rapier? When I get home, well if I get home, I'm writing down a list of weapons I would like to use. No guns, no bow and arrows, no crossbows, no rapiers, no maces, and definitely no great swords.

"Oh hoh! You're here!" A familiar voice cackles.

Without delay, I stagger away from the slide holding my rapier in front of me. I glance up at the top of the playset to see the Jester sitting, legs crossed. You can't fathom how happy I am that Bayonetta isn't my opponent. Though this… This might prove to be a challenge.

"Come down here and fight me, freak," I yell, pointing my sword at him.

The Jester laughs like a psycho before dropping to ground in front of me. I instinctively step back, watching his every move carefully.

"I hear that useless mannequin stabbed you in the leg!" He snickers, "She made this way too easy for the rest of us." He literally moon walks towards me. His voice becomes dangerously low. "I'm going to gut you like the little human pig you are."

"You people are fucking nuts!" I yell.

Then without warning, he appears in front of me. I almost trip over my own foot from being so startled. He grabs the rapier from my hands and rips it clean out of my hands. As he does so, I shove him away and make a break for it.

I turn around to look at him and the Jester lunges at my neck. I immediately side step but he turns in my direction quickly catching me off guard. I can't protect myself without a weapon. Damn being disarmed. Before I have the chance to decide on my next move he crashes into me, pinning me against the hard brick wall. He holds me suspended in the air with his hand at my throat. I start clawing at his hands, trying to pry them off of me. Every time I manage to pull one finger off, his grip tightens.

By now, I must've lost a lot of oxygen. My flailing starts to become less and less. Everything start becoming blurrier and blurrier. I really want to say something witty before I die but it's kind of too late when you're being strangled to death by the most annoying DMC character.

"I win! I win!" The Jester giggles, noticing my attempts to get free are becoming less and less frequent.

I don't want to die here.

The next thing I know I'm on my hands and knees, gasping for air. I grab hold of my burning neck. My vision, that was once fading, slowly starts returning. My first thoughts are why did the Jester let me go when he obviously going to be the victor? Maybe what Florence had said was true? Maybe they really were trying not to kill me? Highly doubt that.

"Cheater! Cheater!" The Jester cries suddenly, "You have help! You have help!" The Jester is crouched on the floor holding his shoulder where someone, clearly not me since only moments ago I was being strangled, has shot him with an arrow.

"W-What? No!" I yell, voice unusually high. My only help is a geek- well two geeks and my sister. But they are too busy working that Action Replay to help me. They couldn't get me to if they tried. Well they could but I don't think there is a part in their rules where they can't harm civilians… "What are you…"

Suddenly something whizzes past my face and clatters on the concrete. I gaze in the direction of the object to see another arrow.

Whatever the fuck is going on, I don't want to be in the middle of it. I get to my feet and immediately run for my fallen blade. The Jester doesn't even bother to move.

Just as I go to grab the blade an arrow tears through my sweater, cutting ever so slightly into my skin. I scream holding my injury. "What the fuck! What the fuck!" How many pairs of clothing am I going to ruin over this shit? I need to invest in armor or something.

I trip over my leg and fall to the ground just an arms length from my weapon. Thank god it's just a flesh wound. I hold onto my arm, staring at the blood on my hand. I ignore the pain and reach for my weapon, taking hold of it in my injured arm.

The Jester says something incoherent to me. Well I probably would understand if weren't busy screaming my head off.

"Whose side is this bitch on?" I yell getting to my feet.

"Better finish off this mess," He hisses, "then go find the swine who shot me."

And I'm glad I grabbed that sword. I turn around in his direction just as he throws a knife at me. I drop my knees to dodge the incoming blade. Face it there is no way in hell that I'm deflecting a blade.

The Jester, caught off guard, keeps running forward. I slash at his lower torso and at the last possible second he flips out of the way, dodging an incoming arrow on the way. He slides back towards me for an attack but I roll sideways on my shoulder, then back at him, colliding into his legs, sending him off balance. We become tangled up on the ground. I stab at his arm, successfully hitting him. I jam it harder and harder into his skin, and cries of pain fill the air. He manages to grab hold of a lock of my hair and slams my head into the concrete. I start trying to pull away, but in turn he tugs harder and slams my head against the concrete, blood clouding my vision. I don't let go of my sword. I push with all my might and I feel the blade sink through his skin. He howls, holding firmly onto my head. I use one of my free hands to punch him in the face but he doesn't relent. I lose the battle to stay on top when he flips me over, holding me against the ground.

"Get off of me!" I scream, flailing around. "RAPE! MURDER!"

"Shut up you revolting human filth!" He yells.

Then, the unspeakable happens. Just as he's about to slam my head down again an arrow pierces through his skull. The blood splatters onto my face. He falls limp on top of me. I lay there on the ground stunned. What the fuck…? What just happened? My sword disappears and I heave him off of me, figuring I am in danger too.

But I don't get too far before I'm struck with an arrow in my bad leg. I crumble to the ground, screaming bloody murder. Out of the corner of my eyes, The Jester explodes into a bright white light, leaving me and the hidden bow and arrow assassin and I alone in the playground.

* * *

**Next Chapter: **Call it What You Want

**Edited: **6-24-11

**Aeroga: **Cliffhanger! Oh right, I've changed my penname… again! Now that classes are over and finals are done (passed them all!) I'll be updating a bit more frequently. Is anyone else appalled by Devil May Cry? I can't get passed Dante being a skinny emo chick…


	13. Call It What You Want

**XIII. Call It What You Want**

**Note: This chapter is very…very odd. If you find yourself reading the same sentence over again, well there's a reason. Enjoy.**

* * *

"_All the other kids with the pumped kicks you'd better run, better run, faster than my bullet."_

-Foster The People

* * *

"Ugh…" I groan holding my head. I open my eyes to find that I'm no longer in the playground but I'm in some place that I've never seen before in my life. I'm in a small rundown room where the wallpaper is peeling off the walls and there are various water spots all over the ceiling. The floor is made up of some kind of wood that at some point was probably pretty nice looking, but now it's just rotting. Paper and plastic bottles litter the floor. The window, a long one, is shattered and the shades covering a good portion of it are missing some of the slits. And don't even get me started on the bed I'm lying on. It's one of those metal framed beds. The mattress is beyond uncomfortable. The blanket and pillow are ripped in a few different places.

_Have I been kidnapped?_

How the fuck did I even get here? Wasn't I in the playground with some killer with a bow and arrow? Hell, didn't I get shot in the fucking leg?

_Wait…_

I throw the blanket off of me. I glance down at my body and immediately notice that I'm not in the clothes I was wearing when I had gone to the park. Now I'm wearing a bright yellow sweatshirt with an orange t-shirt underneath along with some baggy blue jeans and black tennis shoes. I pull up my clothing and am absolutely astonished by what I see. No scars, no bruises, no blood, just soft smooth skin. Just the way it was before this entire mess started.

I did get my ass kicked right? I couldn't have possibly dreamt that up… right? I mean for a dream… it was pretty graphic and felt a little too real… It couldn't… have been.

I roll up the end of my jeans on my injured leg that doesn't feel quite to injured anymore. And just as I thought… no stitches… nothing.

"What the fuck…?" I rasp, scrambling out of the bed. I slip on a piece of paper and fall to the ground. I get back to my feet, desperately trying to figure out what on earth is going on.

This shit is way too Twilight Zone for me. I should probably just get the hell out of here before it turns out that I have been kidnapped and whoever it is planning on murdering me.

I run through the open door into the long messy hallway. As far as I can tell I'm the only person in this building. I'm probably in the Projects in the city or something… Oh god. Please don't let this turn out to something like Saw. Please.

As I walk down the hallway I hear some groaning. Of course my immediate thought is zombies. I pick up a random 2X4 from off the ground and carefully approach the room that the noise is coming from. Oh god. Please don't let me be in a zombie infected house. Please.

"I-Is someone there?" I ask, holding the piece of wood in a batting position. I feel bad for the zombie that tries to bite me.

"Mmmph!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't understand that. I don't speak zombie," I say. I slide against the wall and begin shimming closer to the door where the noise is coming from. "I swear to whatever may exist, if you are a zombie I am going to beat you to a bloody pulp." I take a deep breathe and repeat "Please, don't be a zombie. Please don't be a zombie," over and over. Heart beating, I step in front of the door.

Half expecting to have a zombie lunge at me, I'm a little shocked by what I see. The more serious Son of Sparda, Vergil, hangs upside down in the center of the room. He looks pretty disheveled. He has duct tape on his mouth and his hands are bound with both rope and duct tape. A bit over kill, yes? Who has the guts to tie up one of the sons of Sparda and get away with it? It's like just walking into Mordor. You can't just walk in then expect to leave like nothing happened.

"Vergil?" I gasp in disbelief, lowering my two by four, "What the fuck are you doing… upside down?"

"Mmmphh," He groans, eyes narrowing.

"Oh, haha, right… You can't answer that tied up…" I laugh, embarrassed and he glares at me. I put the two by four down and search the random desks that are piled up against the wall for something to cut him free from his binds.

Having no luck with the desks, I move onto the closet. When I open the doors, something drops out of it and lands by feet. I bend down to get a closer look and realize that it's Vergil's sword, Yamato. I pick it up without a second thought and pull it out of its sheath.

"Mmmppph…" Vergil groans once more as I put my hand on his face and dig my fingers under the duct tape and pull. "That…" Vergil breathes, voice coarse and nasally, "was most…painful."

"You could say ouch like a normal person. Even better, '_Thank you, Liam for saving me even though I'm going to try and kill you later on this week'_. How about that? Not only would it be nice it'd make me feel better for not letting you dangle to death." I use the blade of Yamato to cut the rope and duct tape from his hands. I pull them off and throw them off to the side. "So… how'd you even get like this? Lose a bet? Get drunk? Crazy fan girl kidnap you?"

"I… I don't remember…" He sighs.

"You don't remember?" I cock an eyebrow at him, "What do you mean that don't remember?" I hack away at the ropes still holding the son of Sparda upside down.

"Just that," He replies, holding his arms out towards the ground to support his upper body weight. The rope snaps and he simply falls to the ground. He doesn't even grunt or say so much as an ouch or fuck. "What are you doing here?" He asks, getting to his feet and dusting himself off.

"I actually haven't got the slightest idea," I shrug, "I kind of just woke up here…"

"I remember watching you fight the Jester…that's it…" He says, snatching Yamato from my hands. He walks out of the door and I follow after him.

Guess I'm not getting a "thank you", huh?

"Funny, because the last thing I remember is getting shot in the leg with a bloody arrow. Then I woke up here," I try to laugh about it, but I can't bring myself to do so. I mean, seriously. What if this is a plan by one of them? Vergil could be playing me for all I know. Leading me right into a trap. What if I'm in the game right now or whatever? He might try to cut me down at any moment. I'd better keep my guard up…

Just then a loud buzzing like sound echoes the halls.

"Welcome, Liam and Vergil to the Trick House," A woman's voice booms over a loud speaker, "The only way out is to find all eight of your friends or whatever you like to call them and find me!" She cackles like a mad woman. "If you try to leave you'll just be teleported back up to where you were found and you'll have to do it all over again with no memory of the previous times! Same goes with if you die! Well, happy hunting!" She giggles and the loud speaker cuts off.

"What the fuck?" Is the first thing I say.

"Who was that?" Vergil asks, turning to me.

"Hell if I know," I shrug.

"I would not like to be strung upside down again, so don't even let it cross your mind to leave the building," Vergil frowns.

"What if she's just a crazy fan girl? What if she's expecting us not to go outside and we can? What if she's lying about whoever's friends being here?" I ask.

"Let's not risk it," He says crossing his arms.

"Can we at least try?"

"No."

"I'm trying it."

"No, you're not."

"Yeah? And who's gonna stop me? You? You can't lay a finger on me outside of the game so hah. Just try and stop me," I grin, starting off towards the stairs.

"I can't kill you. No one said anything about not hurting you," Vergil says.

I turn around to face him, smile, then I take off down the hallway. For all I know that crazy woman could be playing us. She could be plotting ways to keep us in here.

"Get back here!" Vergil calls out behind me. I hear his shoes click down the hallway after me. I just keep running, not wanting to let him catch up to me.

Eventually I make it down the steps and to the entrance. What if that crazy woman isn't kidding? What if I really do have to do all of that over? Ah, hell. Might as well give it a try. Just as Vergil rounds the corner, I push open the front doors and a flash of white light envelops my entire body.

* * *

"Agh… god… my head…" I groan sitting up, hand on my head, to find myself in the most unsanitary room I've ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on. The entire room looks like something that Bethesda made for Fallout 3 or something.

I immediately notice that I'm no longer wearing the clothes that I been during the fight with Jester. Now I'm wearing a yellow sweatshirt with a black shirt underneath, along with a pair of baggy faded blue jeans and black tennis shoes.

"Where the hell am I?" I groan getting to my feet.

_I feel like I've been here before._

How the fuck did I even get here in the first place? The last thing I remember was getting shot in the leg by some like super assassin who uses a bow and arrows. Even the Jester fell to this mysterious assassin from a fatal shot to the head. Definitely something I don't want to see again. I'm sure a building like this wouldn't be found in the suburbs. More like I'm somewhere in the city.

Was all that with Dante and the others just a dream? It felt so real… All the injuries- getting tranquilized, getting stabbed in the leg, shot in the leg, having my head slammed against the concrete- all those emotions… they couldn't have been just apart of my dream.

As venture I down the long stretch of hallway I hear some groaning. Of course my immediate thought is zombies. I pick up a random 2X4 from of the ground and carefully approach the room that the noise is coming from. Oh god. Please don't let me be in a zombie infected house. Please.

"I-Is someone there?" I ask, holding the piece of wood in a batting position.

"Mmmph!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't understand that. I don't speak zombie," I say. I slide against the wall and begin shimming closer to the door where the noise is coming from. "I swear to whatever may exist, if you are a zombie I am going to beat you to a bloody pulp." I take a deep breathe and repeat "Please, don't be a zombie. Please don't be a zombie," over and over. Heart beating, I step in front of the door.

Half expecting to have a zombie lunge at me, I'm a little shocked by what I see. The more serious Son of Sparda, Vergil, hangs upside down in the center of the room. He looks pretty disheveled. He has duct tape on his mouth and his hands are bound with both rope and duct tape. A bit over kill, yes? Who has the guts to tie up one of the sons of Sparda. It's like just walking into Mordor. You can't just walk in then expect to leave like nothing happened.

"Vergil?" I gasp in disbelief, lowering my two by four. I suddenly begin laughing hysterically. "Oh my god… What happened to you…?"

"Mmmphh," He groans, eyes narrowing.

"Oh, haha, right… You can't answer that tied up…" I laugh, embarrassed and he glares at me. I put the two by four down and search the random desks that are piled up against the wall for something to cut him free from his binds.

Having no luck with the desks, I move onto the closet. When I open the doors, something drops out of it and lands by feet. I bend down to get a closer look and realize that it's Vergil's sword, Yamato. I pick it up without a second thought and pull it out of its sheath. Never in a million years would I have imagined myself holding Vergil's blade, at least without him being dead on the ground beside me.

"Mmmppph…" Vergil groans once more as I put my hand on his face and dig my fingers under the duct tape and pull. "That…" Vergil breathes, voice coarse and nasally, "was most…painful."

"You could say ouch like a normal person. Even better, '_Thank you, Liam for saving me even though I'm going to try and kill you later on this week'_. How about that? Not only would it be nice it'd make me feel better for not letting you dangle to death." I use the blade of Yamato to cut the rope and duct tape from his hands. I pull them off and throw them off to the side. "So… how'd you even get like this? Lose a bet? Get drunk? Crazy fan girl kidnap you?"

"I… I don't remember…" He sighs.

"You don't remember?" I cock an eyebrow at him, "What do you mean that don't remember?" I hack away at the ropes still holding the son of Sparda upside down.

"Just that," He replies, holding his arms out towards the ground to support his upper body weight. The rope snaps and he simply falls to the ground. He doesn't even grunt or say so much as an ouch or fuck. "What are you doing here?" He asks, getting to his feet and dusting himself off.

"I actually haven't got the slightest idea," I shrug, "I kind of just woke up here…"

"I remember watching you fight the Jester…that's it…" He says, snatching Yamato from my hands. He walks out of the door and I follow after him.

Guess I'm not getting a "thank you", huh?

"Funny, because the last thing I remember is getting shot in the leg with a bloody arrow. Then I woke up here," I try to laugh about it, but I can't bring myself to do so. I mean, seriously. What if this is a plan by one of them? Vergil could be playing me for all I know. Leading me right into a trap. What if I'm in the game right now or whatever? He might try to cut me down at any moment. I'd better keep my guard up…

Just then a loud buzzing like sound echoes the halls.

"Oh my god, Liam!" A woman's voice booms over a loud speaker. "If you run out that front door one more damn time I'm erasing you from existence!"

"What is she talking about?" I ask, turning to Vergil.

"I think she's hysterical," Vergil replies shrugging.

"I _am_ hysterical! And you want to know why?" She doesn't even bother to wait for us to answer, "because your wonderful friend here keeps testing his damn luck by leaving the Trick House even though I specifically say '_Don't even think about leaving or you will have to start over again without your memories of the previous times'_. Jesus freakin' Christ! Learn to listen! This is the seventh time I'm repeating this damn speech! This was supposed to be cut and dry!"

"Uhm…" I scratch my head nervously, "Uhm… what are you talking about? Are you high?" Beside me Vergil nods his head in agreement.

"Fuck you!" She screams. There's a long pause before she decides to speak again. This time her voice is all bubbly, "Welcome, Liam and Vergil, to the Trick House! The only way out is to find all eight of your friends or whatever you want to call them, on the upper levels. Once you find them, you will be able to find me on the first floor. And for the love of everything cute and cuddly, don't try to leave the building or you will have to start all over… again. Also if you die, which you have yet to achieve, the same thing happens. Did I make myself clear this time? Are you actually going to find anyone besides Vergil?"

"Are you telling me… I've been stuck in this so called 'Trick House' of yours because I keep trying to leave without finding everyone else?" I ask staring up at the ceiling.

"Yes! Now get a move on it- not towards the damn entrance!" She yells and the loud speaker cuts off.

Vergil and I exchange glances.

"So…" I start to say.

"Don't even think about it," He interrupts grabbing hold of my arm. "If she is telling the truth about this place and you messing up things seven times, we'd better just get this over with or we might be stuck here forever."

"And what if she isn't? What if she's some crazed fan girl that's going to rape you guys? Huh?" I ask, trying to wiggle free from his ironclad grip.

"Well, that's a risk I'm willing to take," He starts pulling me along towards the stairs. "I will break your legs if you try to run away."

"But you can't touch me outside of battle," I say triumphantly. I struggle to keep up with his long strides.

"No, we can't kill you," He says as a matter-of-factly.

"Oh well, that makes me feel so much better, thank you," I smirk, giving up with trying to keep pace with him. I allow myself to be dragged against the floor.

Eventually, Vergil gets fed up with me and let's me drop to the ground. I almost crack my head on the tile but Vergil grabs a hold of my bangs "Ow! Ow! Ow!" and sits me upright.

"If you try running away, I will cut you where you stand," He warns, holding Yamato up to my neck.

"All right man. I get the message…" I scoff, getting to my feet.

So as ill luck would have it, Vergil and I begin our journey to find whoever else might also be stick in this "Trick House". I really hope there aren't zombies…or leeches.

The two of us walk up the stairs without so much as a single word. You probably already know this, but Vergil is a man of many words. He never shuts the hell up. It's like "Whoa, man, if you talk anymore my ears are going to burst into flames." Okay, I'm lying he doesn't talk at all. It's just really awkward when you know that he might possibly be the one to kill you later. I'm really trying to think of something to say but most of them have to do with him having to kill me or the fact they have assumed the roles of my favorite teachers. Not real conversation starters either. Well, at least not if I want to keep my legs.

The third floor turns out to be a lot neater than the second. In fact, it looks like a three year old decorated the place. It's full of rainbows and butterflies and whatever else three year olds think about. There's even a stuffed unicorn in one of the rooms.

"I don't like this floor…" I say after catching a glimpse of a Furby.

"Nor do I…"

"This place gives me the creeps…" I shiver, continuing on my way.

We search room after room for whoever we should be looking for. Speaking of which _who_ are we looking for anyway? If it's all the DMC characters than screw this. I'm gonna go sit in a corner.

"Dante?" Vergil calls out suddenly, while I'm looking in another room.

_This just gets better and better…_

Vergil stands in the doorway of the room. A mixture of confusion and shock covers his face. As soon as I walk into the room I'm appalled by what I see. My sister and Dante are tied together- face to face, chest to chest. Their mouths are covered with duct tape too. However, they aren't hanging from the ceiling like Vergil was.

"What the hell?" I scream, shoving Vergil out of the way and rushing over towards my sister, "Florence! Are you okay?"

"MMMMPPPH!" She frantically wiggles around in her. Dante watches her unimpressed.

Vergil pushes me off to the side, and with one sweep of Yamato the ropes holding them together fall to the ground. Florence immediately shoves Dante away from her. She pulls off the duct tape screaming "fuck" as she does. She throws it off to the side and latches onto me, crying.

"L-Liam!" She cries, "I-I-I though we were going to have our… our organs taken!" She sobs into my shoulder and I pat her on the head.

"Well… I hope that's not really what this is…" I tell her as she holds onto me tighter. If she holds any tighter she might break one of my ribs. "And you!" I point an accusatory finger at Dante who laughs heartily at his twin brother, "Don't touch my sister, freak!"

"How could I not want to touch something as elegant as her?" He sniggers.

"Dante, don't-" Vergil says trying to stop the escalating argument before it can develop any further.

"Don't even look at her!" I yell, pushing my still crying sister behind me. She mumbles something about wanting to keep her kidneys.

Dante crosses his arms and a smug grin appears on his face. "Like I'd even want to be tied up with something as ugly as that."

Florence immediately stops crying and hisses, "Sh-Shut up! I'm not ugly! I'm beautiful!" She sniffs and wipes away her tears with the sleeve of her shirt.

I roll my eyes. Vergil leaves the room shaking his head and no one even bothers to stop him.

"Can't please everyone, babe," Dante winks. Florence huffs behind me a series of curses, "And I definitely can't have someone with such a foul mouth."

"Fuck you!" She snaps.

"Guys, I really think-" I start to say.

"Gladly! When and where, baby?" He winks.

"Shut your mouth, creep!" I yell, brotherly instincts kicking in once again, "Keep you mouth shut or I will make us restart this shit over again and next time I'll leave you and just take my sister!"

Dante cocks an eyebrow at me. "What are you talkin' about, kid?"

"Yeah…" Florence comes to stand in front of me.

"Apparently we're being held hostage by some mentally unstable fan girl," I scratch my head, "If we leave or die we have start this again with no memories of the previous times. We have to find six other people trapped in this building and then find the freak to get out of here."

"That's…impossible…" Florence breathes, "How do you know she's telling the truth?"

"I don't," I smirk, crossing my arms, "But Vergil does and has threatened to break my legs if I so as look like I'm going to try."

Dante laughs at this.

Vergil steps in the room. "You three might want to come take a look at this…"

Florence is the first to leave followed by Dante.

"You called us out here for this?" I hear Florence snort in disbelief.

I walk out of the room to find them crowded around the black and white Furby I had seen minutes earlier.

"What the hell?"

"I came out here since you three were wasting time and it was down the hallway. When I went to tell you three it was standing right there," Vergil smirks pointing at the Furby.

"What is this thing anyway?" Dante asks, kicking it over. The Furby blinks and I feel a chill go down my spine.

"Some people call them Furby. Others call it demon spawn. It's pure evil. It's the equivalent to Mundus." I tell him.

"People are afraid of this?" Dante snorts.

"Don't say it like that. You have no idea," I smirk, crossing my arms, "These things… I swear… they're possessed by demons or something."

"Yeah right, kid," He laughs, stomping on it.

"I love you~" The Furby says eyes blinking rapidly.

Dante immediately steps away from it, eyes wide.

"See I told you…"

"Let's just… get out of here…" Florence eye twitches at the sight of the blinking Furby, "That thing is giving me the creeps."

"Yeah…" Dante and I nod our heads in agreement.

However, when we turn around there are more Furbys sitting on the floor. Each of them blink one after the other and chime the same words "I love you". Holy fuck! What the hell is going on? Night of the Living Furbys!

Florence latches onto my arm. Even Dante looks a little taken a back by their sudden appearance. Vergil, on the other hand, stares at them with his hand on the hilt of his sword.

"Uhm… those weren't there before were they?" I already know the answer to that and now I'm prompted to get the hell out of here before some freaky crap goes down.

"I'm tired of these little creepy… whatever they are!" Dante yells punting two of them across the room. They hit the wall at the end of the hallway and slide to the ground motionless. He disposes of the others by doing the same. He wipes his hands together when he done. "That wasn't even a challenge."

And then things get even weirder. A door at the end of the hallway flies of its hinges and Furbies gushing out of it like water. One by one the doors break off their hinges and Furbies flood the hallway. Florence takes off in the opposite direction, pulling me along. Involuntarily I grab a fistful of Vergil's trench coat and he barely budges. He pulls out Yamato, fully prepared the demonic fur robots.

"There's too many of them!" I yell over the _'I love you'_s. The door besides us explodes, hitting Dante and knocking him into the wall. Florence and I scream as a wave of Furbies sweep us off our feet.

Even Vergil succumbs to their wave, as does Dante, who disappears beneath them. I struggle to keep my head above the sea of Furbies. I feel Florence's fingers slip through mine and she disappears from view moments later. The only person I can see is Vergil. He tries to swing the Yamato while we're being washed away by them, but one hits his hand and the blade flies out of his hand and vanishes in the wave. He grumbles something.

"Vergil!" I yell, losing my fight to stay above them. He doesn't hear me, at least I don't think he does. A Furby hits me in the eye and I go under- but not before screaming bloody murder.

I'm probably suffocated by Furbies for about five seconds before I'm wrenched back up to the surface by Vergil. He sits atop of an upturned wooden table with Dante and Florence. He pulls me up and sits me next to my sister.

"Get ready to jump for the stairs," Vergil tells us. I notice the wave of Furbies pouring down the staircase to the second floor. I shakily get to my feet holding one of the legs as a support. The others do the same. When we have to jump we do. I hit my shoulder on the corner of one of the steps. Vergil manages to land on the flat platform with ease. Dante lands right next to me and Florence hits into the back of him. He barely budges and she bounces off of him and rolls down the steps. She grabs onto the railing to stop herself from plunging straight into the Furbies.

"Ugh… My god…" I groan, twisting and turning. "My fucking shoulder…my damn shoulder…"

"If you think your shoulder's feelin' bad, kid, you should look at your face," Dante whistles.

"Sh-Shut up…" I groan reaching out to punch him with my uninjured arm. He steps out of my reach. Florence helps me to my feet and we proceed to the upper level.

_Please, no more fuckin' Furbies!_

When we reach the fourth floor, it's like we're in a completely different building. The long stretch of hallway is dimly lit and has nicely polished wooden floors and wooden paneled walls. An ornate violet rug is rolled all the way down the other end of the hallway. There are a few antique wooden stands with either cherubs or small potted plants in shiny white vases sitting atop them.

"I have no hopes for this floor…" I smirk, still holding my shoulder. I really hope I haven't broken it… I've broken a leg before and that beyond painful. Even I cried tears of pain. Manly tears of pain that is…

We begin our descent down the hallway. No one says a single word as we check each room without a doubt still scarred from the Furby incident. I know I am and will be for as long as I live.

Just as we're about to search the third room I see someone or something skitter across the hallway into a room three doors away. "Guys, someone's over there," I tell them pointing my finger shakily in that direction. "And I swear to fucking Nobuo Uematsu if it's a fucking zombie we are not going to rescue whom ever needs to be rescued on this floor and I don't care what you may say otherwise. When zombies are thrown into the equation your argument is invalid."

"I second that," Florence agrees.

"Pfft," Dante sniggers, "Zombies are nothing."

"Maybe not when there's one of them and a bunch of well-educated people who know how to tell when someone's a zombie. But when there's one of them and a bunch of people whom haven't seen enough zombie films to tell that the person isn't just sick they want your brains, flesh, organs- whatever, then that's when their a serious problem. And then those zombies get out and bite another group of uneducated people and it repeats over and over until we have a full blown zombie apocalypse on our hands, then tell me it's nothing." I tell him.

Dante rolls his eyes and we cautiously proceed forward with Vergil leading the way. As we get closer to the door we hear people laughing. Vergil walks calmly over to the room with me right by his side.

"Jordan?" Florence gasps covering her mouth.

Jordan Parker sits at the end of a fancy wooden table covered in food sipping out of a tea cup. He wears a black and white pinstriped tail coat suit and a black tall hat. For a reason unknown to me he wears a monocole over his right eye. Don't even get me started on the two people also at the table- Bayonetta and Trish. They're both dressed in black ballroom dresses and their hair is pulled back into neat buns. All three of them wear a silver necklace with a big ruby rock on the end. Unlike Dante, Florence, and Vergil, they are not tied up.

Dante looks appalled at the sight of this. We stand in the doorway afraid to move any further.

What the hell is this? The 1800's?

"Oh! You're here!" Jordan claps, getting to his feet. "See ladies, I told you entertainment would be arriving shortly. A little late than usual and…" He snubs, " a tad bit unruly."

Trish and Bayonetta softly giggle into their hands.

"Well, don't just stand there," Jordan hisses, "get on with your performance. The sooner you carnies are out of here the better."

"Fuck you, Jordan. This isn't funny," Florence says, crossing her arms. It's really far beyond the level of creepy.

Jordan cocks an eyebrow at us. Bayonetta and Trish look shocked by her choice of words. "What a foul mouth you have young lady," He shakes his head, "I guess that's how uncivilized women are. See ladies. This is what turn into if you start being impolite. She doesn't even tidy herself up."

"Jordan, I'm going to ki-" Florence starts advancing on her friend, but Vergil pushes her behind him.

"I believe he's brainwashed," Vergil says low enough for the three of us to hear.

"No, you think?" I say sarcastically.

"Someone do something then!" Florence whispers loudly.

"Fuck that. The only thing I'm going to do is beat his memory back into him," I hiss. I will not go along with this. No way in hell.

All of us turn at Dante who just stares back at us with a wide grin. "I don't think so."

"I think it's only fair since you're probably the reason the Furbies made a fuckin' wave to take us out," I say trying to shove him forward. He doesn't budge, but instead grabs a fistful of my sweater and shoves me forward.

I stumble to the ground and Jordan and the two women laugh. I look back at my group and give them the finger. Dante grins.

Ah, god. What am I supposed to do for entertainment? Do something stupid funny maybe? What am I good at? Well video games for one and twisting around the truth. Ahaha! I can repeat my favorite scene from a video game.

I get to my feet and clear my throat. I can do this… whatever _this_ is. But which scene should I act out. There are so many good ones.

**List No. 13: **Top Ten Moments in Video Games (Yeah! Spoilers!)

**1. Link receiving the master sword in the Temple of Time in Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. **Probably one of the best moments in video game history. I don't remember how old I was when I first played OoC, but I was but a wee lad who was just starting to discover video games. When I first saw this scene, I wondered how much effort it took him to pick up a weapon bigger than he was.

**2. Finding out that James Sunderland suffocated Mary Shepherd with a pillow in Silent Hill 2. **I probably should've expected this. I mean there were just hints about through the entire game. Still, I was a little shocked that James killed her. I mean, what the fuck? How do you forget something like that. _Oh my wife died from an illness. I believe it was called pillowinyourfaceitis._

**3. After beating Skeith, Kite finds out that the Terror of Death is the least of his problems in .hack/Infection.** Kite's face at the end when he see's Cubia really makes me feel for him. Now he has to go through so much more trials and tribulations to save his best friend and everyone else from a coma. And even with seeing how impossible his goal may be, he never once gives up.

**4. When Heather Mason throws up the fetal god and Claudia, in an attempt to save it, eat it in Silent Hill 3. **I think this… doesn't need an explanation… Ugh…

**5. When Kefka actually succeeds in destroying the world in Final Fantasy VI. **I was definitely not expecting this to happen. I mean, of all the badass villains in the FF universe, the psychotic clown succeeds in destroying the world? That alone should be some incentive to the other villains.

**6. When Minerva says Desmond's name while talking to Ezio in Assassin's Creed II. **How creepy was that? Even better when Ezio doesn't even realize that she's talking through him. I'm sure Desmond was thinking "what the fuck?" at the same time too. I know I sure was.

**7. Zack Fair bravely fighting to protect Cloud Strife in Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII. **One of the most depressing moments in all of video gaming history. You know he's going to end up dying at the end and yet you keep playing because you want to see how everything really went down. I honestly can say I laughed when I saw him die in the original Final Fantasy VII. But while playing at him in Crisis Core and actually getting to know him, it was really sad to see him go.

**8. Fighting the Iron Maiden/Regenerators for the first time in Resident Evil 4. **Self-explanatory.

**9. Finding out Yoshiya Kiryu is the Composer in The World Ends With You. **I was expecting Joshua to have something to do with the Reaper Games, but I certainly did not expect him to be the Composer. I even thought he was really dead.

**10. Discovering that Fayt Leingod's father experimented on his own son and gave him the Destruction gene in Star Ocean: Till the End of Time. **What a douche bag of a father. And why the hell would you give him the power to destroy stuff? That's just… wrong!

"Don't just stand there, Liam!" Florence shouts, "Do something!"

"I don't know what to do! There are just so many awesome video game moments and I don't know which to choose!" I yell.

"Bah," Jordan huffs, giving us a distasteful look, "Guards take these…monsters out of here." He claps his hand.

"Jordan! I'm two seconds from tackling you across that damn table!" I yell pointing a finger at him.

Just as I say that four stone guards holding spears march into the room and start grabbing the others. The only one they really succeed in grabbing is Florence, who is taken away kicking and screaming. Dante and Vergil don't take too kindly to being escorted out and fight the guards with their bare hands. The one meant for me comes at me charging. I yelp and start running away.

"Now this is quite entertaining!" Jordan laughs hysterically. Bayonetta and Trish follow suit.

I notice the necklace around their necks glowing strangely. I probably need to get rid of them. I slide over the table, knocking food and wine onto the floor. I tackle Trish who tries to flee the room with Bayonetta. She screams, twisting and turning in my grip. We tumble around on the floor for a few seconds before I manage to secure the necklace in my hand and rip it off of her. The ruby shatters in my hand. She stops trashing around and stares at me, unsure of what to make of the entire situation. "What are you doing?" She asks, pushing me off of her. I don't even hit the ground before I'm lifted into the air by one of the stone guards.

"Trish!" I yell as I'm carried away, "The necklace! Grab the necklace off of Jordan's neck!"

Trish doesn't even take a second to stop and think of where she is and why the four of us- well just Florence and I since Dante and Vergil seem to be holding their ground pretty well- are getting carted off by the guards. She just gets to her feet and runs at Jordan. And Jordan at the sight of this, turns to high tail it out of there.

"HELP ME!" Florence screams clutching onto the frame of the door with all her might.

Dante dodges a sweep of the guard's spear and rolls away from it, towards the table. He picks up a silver platter and slides the food onto the ground. He turns to face the guard and taunts it by shooing it. The guard stabs at him and Dante uses the silver platter as a shield.

Beside him Vergil side steps with each jab of the guard's spear.

Me? I just allow myself to get carried off.

Trish corners Jordan.

"You're not acting very lady like, Trish," He says, scooting against the wall and looking for a way out of the mess.

"Give me the damn amulet," She grabs hold of his arm and he proceeds to stab her, at least not before she wrenches the necklace off of his neck. Florence and I fall to the ground and the guards crumple to the ground and turn into nothing more than sand.

"What the hell?" Jordan says, looking Trish up and down, "What the heck are you wearing? What are we in the 1800's?"

Trish looks down and her face scrunches up in disgust. "What _am _I wearing?" She twirls around to face us. "Well?"

"Uhm… a dress?" I answer wiping myself off.

"What the fuck am I wearing and where the hell am I?" Jordan asks, taking off the monocle and throwing it off to the side. He begins peeling off his jacket along with his hat. He groans when he sees that he's wearing suspenders.

"Some fan girl's dream torture."

"Well, that's certainly believable… But why are we here? Why did she take us," Jordan does a double take when he looks at me, "and what happened to you?"

"One word. Furbies," I reply.

Florence runs over to Jordan and pulls him into a hug. I hear Dante snicker behind me. "I'm glad you're okay," She pulls away and slaps him. The sound echoes the room. "and that's what you get for sicking those… those statues on us!"

Jordan holds his red cheek with his hand, "Ow! Well sorry I wasn't exactly me!"

"Hey… Where's Bayonetta? No one grabbed the necklace off of her neck," Dante pipes up.

"Shit…" I groan.

"Well, we better find her before she tries to leave…" Dante suggests.

"We should only need to find three more people," Vergil tells us as we walk out of the room.

"One of them has to be that Nero guy," Florence says.

"And Agnus," Vergil sighs deeply.

"W-What?" Jordan and I burst out laughing.

"It's better for all of us if you don't ask," He says leading us down the hallway.

"And Quinn might be here. Only makes sense if he's here too. If anyone shouldn't be here it's Ginger," Jordan winks, at Florence who just glares back him. Poor girl, always the center of everyone's jokes.

"Let's split up and find here. We'll cover more ground that way," Trish says disappearing into a nearby room.

Almost as soon as Dante enters a room- I volunteer to be the lookout in the hallway- a lamp swings his way in the hands of Bayonetta. He ducks and reaches his up, ripping the necklace off of the female angel killer. She drops the lamp to the ground and stares at us. "What am I doing here?" She asks, staring Dante and I down. "And what am I wearing?"

The others make their way back towards us.

"Well, babe," Dante grins, "You were brainwashed."

"Hmmph," She scoffs, "That's highly unlikely." She starts pulling off her dress.

"DON'T!" I scream, red faced.

"What are you, gay?" Dante asks raising an eyebrow at me.

"No! My little brother may be here! I don't want him to be… exposed to that yet!" I say in my defense. Besides all we need is a half naked woman venturing the halls with us.

Beside me Vergil clears his throat, "I'd also prefer if you kept your clothes on."

"There's really no need to be modest about it," Jordan says patting him on the back, "Keep your damn clothes on, Bayonetta. We don't need Quinn seeing that… no matter how uncomfortable you may be in it. Think of the children, woman!" He points at me.

"H-Hey!" I yell. Technically I'm not adult yet so yeah…

Bayonetta sighs heavily, "Let's just find the rest of them so I can get out of these horrific clothes."

"So were you really brainwashed?" I ask, Jordan and Trish.

"If you really must know, the last thing I remember seeing is you getting your head smashed against the ground over and over. Then when I woke up, Trish was standing in front of me and all you were staring at me," Jordan explains, "Was I really a jerk when I was brainwashed?"

"Yes," Everyone, aside from Bayonetta, responds at the same time.

"Hah, well that's nice to know that being brainwashed didn't change my true personality," He laughs as we walk up the steps to the next and final floor.

Florence shakes her head disapprovingly.

When we make it to the next floor the eight of us stand staring at what is before us. This hallway looks like something out of the beginning of Silent Hill: Homecoming. It's like we're in a rusty metal giant metal cage with little cells off to the side. It reeks of rotting flesh or something close to it.

"Is anybody else thinking what I'm thinking?" Jordan asks looking from one person to the other.

"I'm sure we all are," Dante replies, stepping forward into the hallway.

"Can we just hurry this up?" I feel a shiver go down my spine. If I see a single bloody nurse, I'm screaming my head off until it explodes. I will go down in history for that.

Florence latches onto Jordan, who just shrugs and leaves her be. Any other time I'm sure he would of pushed her off and told her she was being a scaredy cat.

As we reach the halfway point of the hallway, a blood curdling scream echoes around us. I hear what sounds like a chainsaw revving up. My entire body freezes with fear.

"I really don't want to be the one to point this out, but that sounds like a fucking chainsaw," Jordan says. He laughs nervously afterwards, but I can tell he's just as afraid as the rest of us. Well, scratch that, as afraid as Florence and I. Vergil and the others don't even look bothered by any of this at all.

I know damn well where my fear of chainsaws originated from- Resident Evil 4. The first time I played RE4 I must've been around 12 or 13 years old. When I first came across the chainsaw guy, I managed to get ambushed from behind by him and let's just say I screamed so loud I'm pretty sure everyone in the neighborhood thought I was being murder.

The floor clatters with each step we take and the screaming continues does not relent. Definitely does not sound like Agnus or Nero screaming- though I won't put it past them.

Eventually we get closer to the room and it's at that point I realize who is screaming- Quinn. I feel my heart skip a beat and I push past the others and run on ahead.

"Liam wait!" Florence yells.

I ignore her and continue on my way. I hear laughing as I get closer and closer. And not normal laughing. Mad scientist, Hojo, laughing. And oh my god. What the fuck? I can't fight off someone who has a chainsaw. What am I gonna use? I don't have a weapon. But if that really is Quinn, I can't just leave him be to suffer like that.

I peer into the rusty room to see my younger brother strapped down to an operating room table. I've never seen fear like this before in anybody. Quinn screams bloody murder with his eyes tightly closed shut. He twists and turns in the leather strapping's holding him down.

On the other side of the room, Nero stands playfully revving up the chainsaw. My brother, if possible, screams louder at this. Beside him, Agnus snickers. I notice they both wear a strange emerald colored bracelet. But there is no way I'm getting to that bracelet without confronting them.

"HELP ME! SOMEONE HELP ME!" Quinn wails, tears streaming down his face.

"Oh look at the baby cry!" Nero laughs, " Want your big heroic brother to come save you? Well, guess what? He's not coming! No one is!"

"F-Fuck you, Mr. White!" Quinn screams.

I snort at this.

I feel someone's hand touch my back and it turns out to be Vergil. He takes one look inside and his eyebrows furrow. He marches into the room followed by me and the others.

Nero notices us and grins, "Looks like the whole gang is here!" He titters. "Now the party has really started. Just the way I'd want this blood bath to be!"

"Liam!" Quinn cries out. A little bit of hope fills his eyes as he looks at me and the others.

"Put the chainsaw down, Nero," Vergil demands. Someone is taking a civil approach at this…

"Hmmph," He huffs, swinging the chainsaw around. Everyone instinctively steps back and Quinn starts screaming once again. "You're not the boss of me. I'm just havin' a little fun!"

"By torturing my brother?" I yell.

"It's only fair," He shrugs, "Since the two of you have been being a real pain in my ass lately."

"Can someone just… kill him or something? He's totally lost it. Bonkers. Nuts. Crazy. Need I say anymore?" Jordan whispers.

"Hey, kid," Dante steps forward, "You don't really want to do this. Kyrie wouldn't want it like this." Her names sends a shudder down my spine. I will never get over that dream. Ever.

"How would you know what she wants?" He spats, lowering the chainsaw a little, "She's not here! She won't be! Until he's," he points at me, "dead!"

"Haha, you serious?" I laugh, but quickly catch myself before he can notice.

"Then how about we make a trade? Him," Dante points at me, "for the kid?" He motions in the direction of Quinn, who still struggles to get out of his binds. I eye him, wearily.

Nero snorts, "Feh! Like I'd fall for that!"

"You can have him kid," Dante insists, "He's been being a real pain in my back side. Thinks some crazy fan girl has set us all up."

I cross my arms and glare up at him. "I'll swap with my brother. Just let him go."

Nero raises an eyebrow at me. "Hmm… fine… If you really want your brother to be out of harms way so badly…" I gulp and look from Dante to Vergil. They both nod their heads. "Well, don't just stand there, go untie him. Agnus, help him."

Agnus nods and skitters over to the operating room table. I slowly step forward. Please, please let them have a plan. Everything inside of me is screaming not to go through with this.

Florence's older sister instinct must kick in because she grabs my arm and pushes me behind her. "Take me instead," She says, in stern voice.

"Florence, no-" Jordan reaches his arm for her, but she slaps it away.

"So I can chop you up instead of your brothers?" He cackles.

"Yes," Though her voice falters a bit she still looks pretty serious about this.

"Well then," Nero claps. Brainwashed!Nero scares the living crap out of me by the way. "Then come on over!"

Florence nods and walks over to the table, not a hint of fear present on her face. Jordan grunts a series of curses. She proceeds to help Agnus untie our little brother.

"Your sister's got balls," Dante whispers.

"I know," I nod. I should be the one out there. I know sometimes I can be a little cowardly but I always manage to come through. Florence? Well, she's just Florence. Not really brave nor cowardly. Not very lucky either. Though I'm sure she stands a better chance up there than I do since all Nero has on his mind is chopping me to pieces because his girlfriend isn't here and I won't just roll over and die.

Quinn pulls my sister into a hug. Florence lifts him off of the operating table, hugging him tightly.

"Now!" She screams. The room goes dark and I feel someone pull me into the dimly lit hallway. I hear Nero say a string of curses over the revving chainsaw.

When I'm able to see, I find that it's Trish who has pulled me from the room. Florence pushes her way passed us and flees down the hallway with a sobbing Quinn in her arms. Jordan and Bayonetta follow promptly behind them.

"We need to get that bracelet off of them," Vergil says.

"That's a lot easier said than done," Dante replies.

"Well yeah, he has a freakin' chainsaw," I put in.

"What if we distract him?" Trish suggests still pulling me along.

"I think I know how we can," Vergil says glancing at me through the corner of his eyes.

"Oh! What? No way, man!" I stop running trying to pull away from the woman. I end up being pulled forward without much of a struggle. I swear, Trish is pretty damn strong… "I fucking hate you people!"

"Let's rock!" Dante says, shortly before the two of them duck into a nearby rooms one on each side.

Nero emerges from the room with Agnus at his side. Trish holds me still in the middle of the hallway as she stands behind me.

"T-T-T-There he is!" Agnus stutters as he points at me.

Nero immediately swings in my direction. "Oh, so you've decided to stay and face me?" Nero says cocking his head to the side.

_Not by choice._

"Yeah. I'm not afraid of you and your damn chainsaw. Or for that matter, your damn stuttering lackey," I yell.

And that is only half a lie. I'm not at all intimidated by Agnus. But Nero, on the other hand, is a totally different story. He has a chainsaw and well… he's Nero. Hell, I'd be on the first floor by now if Trish and the others weren't using me as bait.

"Heh! The only back up you have is a whore!" He yells. Trish shifts, but still clings onto my arm. I can tell she's insulted, but doesn't say anything in her defense.

"You're acting pretty high and mighty with that chainsaw. Are you afraid to take me on without it? Afraid you're gonna get your ass whooped?"

And then he does the unspeakable. He hurls the chainsaw at Trish and I. Trish, quick on her feet, pulls me against the wall with her. The chainsaw whips through the air passes us while I'm having an anxiety attack. It's only when Trish tells me to move is when I realize that Nero is charging at us. I, of course, scream pretty loud.

Just as he's about to pass the two door the Sons of Sparda are hiding in, the two of them ambush them. Vergil secures the bracelet from Agnus, who immediately goes into a stuttering fit, asking where he is and a bunch of other stuff. Dante, on the other hand, has a bit more difficulty getting the bracelet from Nero. He's knocked into the wall by Nero's devil arm. Then Nero proceeds forward to his true target, me.

"C'mon kid, is that all you've got?" Dante taunts getting to his feet.

Nero turns to say something in response, at which point Vergil tugs the bracelet off of him.

He stands there with a blank expression on his face. "Where am I?" He asks breathlessly.

"Busy trying to kill us!" I yell, trying to get over having a chainsaw hurled at me.

"Well kid," Dante slings his arm around the younger man's shoulder, "You're a little out there when you're brainwashed."

Nero slides away from Dante. "I was not brainwashed. I just woke up here. I think I would remember if I were brainwashed."

"Oh, you weren't brainwashed? So you mean tying my brother to a table and threatening him with a chainsaw and hurling the chainsaw at me wasn't you brainwashed?" I snap, "Because if it weren't, you have some serious emotional problems!"

"What?" Nero swivels around on his heels to look at me, "I didn't do that! Why would I use a chainsaw when I can just use my arm?"

"BECAUSE YOU WERE BRAINWASHED!" I yell.

Nero stays silent.

"Hey, look at the bright side," Dante intrudes, while I'm busy cursing my head off, "At least we can get out of here now and pretend like none of this ever happened."

"I will never ever forget being attacked by a swarm of Furbies, my sister's best friend, and having a chainsaw hurled at me!" I yell.

"I don't think I will either, but I've had worse happen to me," Dante shrugs.

We manage to find the other four on the third floor. Quinn starts screaming as soon as he lays eyes on Nero and Agnus. Nero tries to apologize to Quinn telling him he was brainwashed and he wasn't himself. Quinn, usually not the type to hold a grudge, screams at him and hides behind our sister. Jordan tries to make Quinn feel better by telling him that he was brainwashed too, but didn't try to kill anyone… or at least that's what he thinks. It doesn't help.

"So where do we find this woman at?" Vergil asks, as soon as we reach the first floor without incident.

"I don't know, but she did say something about the first floor when she yelling at us," I reply.

"Who are we looking for anyway?" Quinn asks, clinging onto Florence. He tries to stay as far away as possible from Nero and the stuttering psychopath.

"This woman… She apparently created this 'Trick House'."

"Why though? What's the point of all of this? Why are we even here?"

"When we find her, you can be the first to ask."

"If I don't kill her first."

"I think you can ask me now," A voice booms from behind us. All us immediately turn around. What we see is far from what I expected. A tan girl probably around 15 or 16, though she could certainly be older, with medium length black hair and glasses over her brown eyes stands in the middle of the hallway arms crossed. She's a little shorter than me, but not by much. She wears a black t-shirt that has the _Portal _logo in the middle. She wears a pair of light blue skinny jeans along with some yellow hip top converse. She even has on a Pac Man necklace. "Well? What are you just standing there for?" She extends her arms out to us. She looks so…average. How could someone like this be able to do _this_?

"Who the hell are you?" Jordan yells.

"Welp, some people call me Elliott, Yellow, Bring Your Own Kites… and oh yeah! Aeroga!" She smiles.

"How are you able to do all of this?" Vergil asks, stepping forward, "Are you a demon?"

"Oh gosh, no," She swoons, clapping her hands together, "I'm far from a demon. I'm definitely human."

"Shut up and answer the main question," Nero snarls.

The girl puffs out her cheeks and then bites her lip. "This was all just a result of writer's block and having lost my XBOX…again. I can't even destroy people in Call of Duty: Black Ops or Gears of War! I miss my XBOX so much! I wanted to have little bit of fun, but obviously it got pretty out of hand. Staring out the window for hours on end and working is not my idea of fun. Neither is writer's block. It kills the imagination and lasts forever. I think I put all of my ideas into _Identity Crisis _and _Monochrome Dreams_. I should've waited until I finished this to start up other stories." She laughs heartily.

All of us stare at her wide eyed.

Is this chick on crack? Heavy doses of crack laced with LSD? What the hell is she even talking about? She did this to get out of writer's block? I don't know how kidnapping some people can help with that. That's it. She's nuts. She's mentally unstable as I've said before.

"You're crazy," I breathe.

"Hmmphh…" She pouts some more, "No, just very, very bored."

"How are you able to do this? You still didn't answer me," Vergil asks.

"Well-"

"Will someone just beat the crap out of her so we can get out of here? This dress is annoying," Trish complains, fiddling around with the straps.

"_Shut up_," She says, with high emphasis on it, "This was fun at first. Now all of you are just getting on my nerves and I'm just angry. If you really must know who I am, I'm sure the readers have figured this out by now and left in rage when they found out they weren't going to find out what happened after Liam was shot in the leg with an arrow." I raise an eyebrow to her when she's says this, "I'm the creator. Well, of one," She points at me, "two," she points at Florence, "three," she points at Jordan, "and four!" She points at Quinn. "You guys, though," She motions at the others, "are property of Capcom. Except for Bayonetta. You're a Sega baby. So sadly I did not create you. If I did, Dante would not look like a skinny punk rock chick from the 90's…"

She's high. Yep. She's got to be high. She thinks she created us! I'm sure she isn't my mother unless my dad is a serious pedophile…

"What?" Dante hisses.

"Exactly!" The girl sobs comically into her hands, "They're ruining the badass icon of DMC. It breaks my heart to tell you this, but it's true. Maybe we'll find out if you're Nero's father or not." Nero grunts.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Dante growls.

"Uh, it's true man. You were created by Capcom," Jordan says, looking genuinely concerned, as he pats the older man on the shoulder.

"No, not that! I know that. I've never looked like a punk rock chick."

"Well, apparently the creator or Ninja Theory insists on making you look so. I'm sure it won't be as bad as I'm making it sound since I can be a little dramatic at times… But my god. How could they!" The girl smirks.

"What did you mean when you said you created them?" Vergil asks, pointing at the four of us, "They're as human as you are, right?"

"Nope, they're just a figment of my imagination," She shrugs.

"No I'm not!" The four of us yell in unison.

The girl begins laughing hysterically, "I know everything about you! Every little detail!"

"No you don't! You're just a stalker!" I yell.

"Oh yes I do!" She giggles, "I know that Jordan went overseas to attend school in England so he would be closer to his parents even though that meant leaving behind his childhood friend. He attended Greenshaw High. I made it that way because I based him off of my friend who lives over seas and is real jerk at times… actually he is all of the time. I know you and your roommate kept a kitten named Gelato in secrecy since pets were banned from being in the dorms," Jordan's eyes widen at this, "Let's see… Florence… You were originally going to be the main character, but I ultimately decided against it since there were far too many fics with a female OC as the main character. Uh, you had a crush on the Delacour twins and after graduation you told them. Of course they were flattered, but told you that it was nothing more than that, a crush."

All of us turn towards Florence who is red faced.

"Is this…true?" I gasp.

"S-Sh-Shut up!" She hisses covering her face.

"Yes, it's true," The girl laughs, "Quinn, let's see… He was created to be the more innocent and intelligent of the Emmerich kids. He was in an original story of mine before making his way to this story along with Liam. I can't even say anything bad about this adorable little kid. Oh and I'm sorry about you having to be tortured by Nero. My imagination is a little out there sometimes." Beside me Quinn twitches his eye. "And you Liam, you were already created long before this story as I've already said. You were the hero of my original story. Well… not really hero… per se… If anything you were the antagonist. I know you love making mental lists and degrading people."

"W-What?" I yell, taken aback by this. How does she know that I make lists? No one knows about that. I've never found any one worthy of telling. I definitely wouldn't have told this crazy whatever this woman is about this. "Who the hell are you?"

"I've told you already!" She throws her hands in frustration, "I'm the creator! Not God or whatever you people believe in. I'm the creator!"

"All right. I've had enough of this. Can someone please just kill her or something? She's obviously too far gone to realize how crazy this all sounds." Jordan suggests.

"Heh…" The girl grins, "Let's all listen to Jordan! Because he knows absolutely everything."

"See!" He points at her.

I'm starting to agree with him.

"We can't just…kill her…" Florence says, meekly, "I mean if she does need medical attention or something… killing her would be just plain wrong…"

"Who cares?" Quinn shrugs, "She should've thought about that before she kidnapped us…" Definitely did not expect to hear that from him of all people.

"Hey you, little dude! Don't be mad at me because my imagination went awry!" She pouts, "Hmmph… this turned out to be quite the bummer. Never doing this again that's for sure." She crosses her arms.

What a freak.

"Oh, well, it was fun while it lasted," She sighs, holding up her hand, "You won't remember me, but I will definitely remember how mean you all were and I'll put you through sheer hell in the next chapter, I guarantee you that."

"What?"

And with that she snaps her fingers and a white light envelops all of us.

* * *

**Aeroga: **This is **not **a part of the canon storyline. I've been having a major writer's block these last couple of days and I came up with this to kind of hold you guys over until it goes away. Also my XBOX is officially dead. I was in the middle of playing Dragon Age: Origins when it shut off. It won't turn back on… Now I've got to get a new one, oh joy.

Oh, also you can now find this story on my Deviantart. Go to my bio page to find the link. I'll be posting little side stories to this fic.


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